Primary Discussions (Secondary Threats)Disclaimer:
Joss owns Buffy, Sherlock (BBC) was created by Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss and is based on the works of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. I write for fun, not for profit.Summary:
Buffy is fed up with Dawn's issues so calls on the family for a meeting...Warnings:
Slashity slash slash slash. Threesome. A/N 1:
So...yeah. I'm still plugging along but 50 pages worth of papers is hard to type up. :/ Thank god I graduate in a month or so. Primary Discussions (Secondary Threats)
“This is starting to get ridiculous,” Buffy mumbled as she and Mycroft walked into the town house after a semi-enjoyable dinner with Giles and Dawn, the latter of whom was miserable. She hadn't even gotten excited talking about her latest translation project, for Sineya's sake!
“She does seem to miss the two of them,” Mycroft agreed, not needing to ask who Buffy was talking about.
“But she's being a stubborn idiot,” Buffy groaned, throwing her purse on the kitchen table.
“I wonder where she got that
from?” she heard Mycroft mutter but decided to ignore him—mostly because she knew he had a point. She'd been a horrible influence on her younger sister.
“Alright, that's it, something has to be done,” she decided abruptly. She'd passed on a lot of bad traits to Dawnie over the years, but she'd die (again) before she let her keep herself from what could be the best thing that had ever happened to her. Buffy had done that once before, and while she and Xander were friends and siblings now, part of her would always wonder what might have happened if she'd given the carpenter the chance to woo her back in Sunnydale.
Point was, if things continued the way they were going, Dawnie was never going to get that chance with Sherlock and John and that just wasn't okay. Buffy was finally happy. Her sister should be too. ~~*~~
“Alright, Buffy, why'd you call us here?” Xander asked once they'd all gathered around the table in her and Mycroft's house. Mycroft himself had been hesitant about having this meeting in the townhouse, but Buffy had pointed out that this was the most secure place outside the council HQ and no way was she having this conversation there—way too many super-hearing people lived in the HQ.
“Yeah, you said it was a non-supernatural emergency,” Willow said. She paused and a hesitant look came upon her face. “Are you pregnant?”
“What? No!” Buffy said, exasperated. “Why does everyone keep asking that?”
Faith had asked the same thing when she'd called her in Cleveland. Since the other senior slayer wouldn't be able to be there, Buffy wanted her input before she talked to the rest of the gang. They'd ended up spending close to half an hour on the issue of Buffy getting pregnant, what it would mean, if slayer even could
get pregnant (Faith and Robin had been trying for months now), and what Buffy would do if she was.
“Okay, so...did he propose?” Xander asked, eyes lighting up. “Cause, you know, I'm all for that!”
To almost everyone's surprise, Xander actually liked Mycroft, thought he was good for Buffy. Willow still seemed to be reserving judgment and Buffy knew the less Giles had to think of her with his old friend the better it was for him. As for the others, Faith thought he was too uptight but supported Buffy; Andrew and Mycroft did not get along for various reasons; and Robin, while he wasn't sure the relationship would last, liked him. Riley and Graham (once they'd gotten over the surprise) had come to the same opinion as Xander.
To no one's surprise, Spike and Angel didn't approve. Spike, at least, had cited a fairly good reason (Mycroft was
, technically, a government man and the vampire didn't trust ANYONE in the military or government). Angel, on the other hand, was simply being petulant. Buffy had the feeling he had been of the opinion that once she was done baking, she'd turn to him. When she hadn't...well, he wasn't taking it well and Buffy was thoroughly sick of it.
She glanced at Spike out of the corner of her eye, seeing him make a face at the very idea that Mycroft had proposed. She'd invited him because she knew if she hadn't, and he found out later, he'd be pissed. He considered Dawn his as much as she did. In some ways, the two of them had been the ones to raise Dawn. Buffy suspected Spike had actually harbored more fatherly, than brotherly, feelings for the tall brunette. It made sense that he wouldn't tell them, they looked the same age, but it was still there, unspoken.
He'd certainly had a great time sword-sparring with Xander on the front lawn when Dawn's first date came to pick her up for their evening out.
“No, he didn't propose, this has nothing to do with me,” she said, looking around the table. Giles had begged off, but Xander, Willow, Kennedy, Spike, and Vi (who had gotten in that morning) were all there. “It's about Dawn.”
“She okay?” Spike demanded, straightening his seat. She smiled reassuringly at him.
“She's just freaking out,” she explained, shaking her head.
“About what?” Willow asked, concerned. “Did something happen?”
And this was where Buffy hesitated. She knew how she and Mycroft felt about this and she had a feeling she knew where Spike would fall (once he got over the idea of Dawnie being in love again), but the other four...they were the odd-balls. She honestly didn't know how they'd react to the idea of a threesome.
“So...you know she moved into Baker Street, right?” she asked and they all nodded.
“I still haven't seen it, but I want to,” Xander agreed. “It's a flat in an old house, right?”
“Yeah, basically,” Buffy agreed. “221 Baker Street got turned into three flats. Mrs. Hudson's the landlady, she owns the place, and her flats on the ground floor. Dawn's is in the basement, and then there are two men on the second and third floor—Sherlock and John.”
Mostly this was said to explain it to the three women, as she wasn't sure how much they knew.
“Dawn loves it there,” Vi said. “She says its never boring.”
Buffy and Spike both snorted. “Not surprising,” Spike agreed. “Sherlock's a consulting detective and he likes experimenting on human body parts to determine alibi's and whatnot.”
“How'd you know that?” Buffy asked, surprised. She was pretty sure Dawn would never mention that to Spike—from their expressions, she certainly hadn't to Willow, Xander, or Kennedy—so how could Spike have known?
“I broke in,” he shrugged and Buffy gave him an exasperated look. “What? I had to make sure the blokes weren't mass murderers, dinna I?”
“And the body parts didn't freak you out?” Xander demanded. Buffy could see his point—if you hadn't known Sherlock and found those...
“I got caught,” Spike shrugged again, unrepentent. “John came home. Recognized me from Dawn's photos. Smart man, figured out what I was doing, said he'd done it himself once with one of his sisters exes. He explained Sherlock to me.”
“Ah,” Buffy said. That made sense. “And what did you think of John?”
“Nice bloke, even if he's making a home on the Nile.” He rolled his eyes and Buffy snickered. “Seriously, he kept insisting he and Sherlock weren't dating but I can tell when someone's ignoring attraction and him? Whole heaps of it.”
He tapped his nose for emphasis and Buffy couldn't help but laugh. Some days she really hated his and Angel's penchant for using their enhanced senses on people, but at times like these? She loved it. It made things so much simpler.
“So what's this all have to do with Dawnie?” Willow asked, frowning. Next to her, Kennedy shifted, obviously bored.
“She's attracted to them,” Vi said and Buffy froze, looking at the younger redhead in surprise. She was glaring at Buffy. “That's why you called us here, isn't it? To figure out how to break up Dawn's relationship with them?”
Two things occurred to Buffy in quick succession—one, Vi knew exactly what was going on with Dawn and two, she thought Buffy didn't approve. Well, that wouldn't do.
“Okay, one, no assumptions,” she said, wagging a finger in Vi's face. She huffed but Buffy pushed forward. “I didn't call you here to break them up, I called you here cause Dawn's finally realized she was falling for them and she's freaking out. It's driving me nuts. I want it resolved.”
“Wait, wait, wait!” Xander said, waving his hands in the air and looking stunned. “You mean...both of them? With Dawnie?”
“A threesome,” Kennedy said and she didn't look bored anymore. “Hm. Way to go Summers.”
Buffy rolled her eyes. Some days, she thought Kennedy took after Faith a little bit too much.
“You can't be serious!” Xander exclaimed, ignoring the younger slayer in favor of staring at Buffy as if she'd lost her mind. “You want us to actually get her together with both of them?!”
“You really wanna try that?” Spike asked lowly, eyes narrowed on the other man. “You wanna say Dawn feeling that way for two blokes at the same time is a bad thing? After everything?”
“After everything what?!” Xander demanded, angry. “I've never been in a threesome!”
“But you did date a vengeance demon,” Kennedy pointed out.
“And, not to be blunt,” Vi said in a tone that said the exact opposite, “but which is more natural? Demonic-human duo or or a fully human threesome?”
Xander's mouth opened and closed several times, his skin flushing red, as he stared at the two of them. Apparently he didn't have a comeback to that. Buffy ignored it, more interested in why Willow was being so quiet.
“Willow?” she asked, looking over at the redhead looking down at the table-top. “What do you think?”
The wicca didn't say anything for a moment and Buffy started to get a sinking feeling in her stomach. Xander's reaction wasn't much of a surprise, for all his past relationships he had a disturbingly vanilla mindset in regards to the women in his life, but Buffy had been hoping Willow would be more open-minded.
Finally, she looked up. She didn't look comfortable.
“I really shouldn't say anything, because you know, gay,” she said, glancing at Kennedy a moment. “I know better than anyone how you can't control who you love.”
“But are you sure about this, Buffy?” she asked, frowning. “I mean, are you sure its not just lust or something? Maybe...a--a kink?”
Xander's sudden sputtering was ignored. As was the sound of someone, Buffy wasn't sure who, kicking him under the table.
“I am,” Buffy told her honestly. “Dawn loves them. She might not have made the leap to love in her mind yet but...she's my sister. I can tell.”
“She knows she has feelings for them,” Vi put forth. “We've talked about it a bunch of times over the phone. She just...didn't know what to do about it. I don't think the idea of a threesome has quite worked its way into her thinking yet. At least, it hadn't last time we talked and that was a month ago.”
“Buffy, you can't be serious!” Xander argued again. “Threesomes don't work!”
“Actually, historically, polygamy was more common than monogamy in certain parts of the world,” Willow said and Buffy's lips quirked at the severe look she was giving her best friend.
“Willow you just said you agreed with me!”
“I said no such thing!” Willow exclaimed. “I wanted to know if Dawn wasn't mistaking lust for love! I never said she shouldn't be with them both!”
“But you don't think she should!”
“I think she needs to be certain its what she wants,” Willow replied stubbornly and Buffy saw Spike, Vi, and Kennedy all smirking as how, in his quest to get Willow to side with him, Xander had pushed her to the other side. “Cause it won't be easy, being in a threesome. But you can't control who you love, Xander, you know that just as much as I do!”
Xander suddenly paled and Buffy frowned. What was that about?
“You...that....its not the same!” he argued weakly.
“Really?” Willow asked in a highly disbelieving tone. “Who was the one in my room the other night complaining about it?”
“That's....that's...damnit Willow!” he slumped, defeated, and though he obviously wasn't happy, whatever Willow was telling him seemed to have gotten through.
Though now Buffy really wanted to know what was going on. It sounded like Xander had fallen in love again, but not with someone he thought he should. Who was it? If it was a guy, he had to know none of them would care.
She was about to open her mouth to ask but Spike cut in before she could. “That's all nice and everything,” he said, annoyed, “But what are we going to do about the Niblet and her blokes?”
Buffy put the mystery of Xander to the back of her mind—she was here for Dawnie, after all. She could figure him out later.
“Might I make a suggestion?” Mycroft said, coming inside. He'd been hiding (he said working but Buffy knew better) in his office on the second floor. The yelling must have caught his attention.
“Sure,” Buffy said, smiling up at him. He smiled back, leaning against the archway to the stairs. “Whatcha got?”
“Mrs. Hudson,” he said simply.
“Their landlady?” Willow asked, confused.
Mycroft nodded. “She considers Sherlock and John sons,” he explained. “And I know she thinks the three of them should just get on with it already.”
“She does?” This was news to Buffy. Mycroft raised an eyebrow at her and she rolled her eyes. Of course. He'd deduced it. She hated when he did that.
At least he'd stopped doing it to her.
They'd been arguing and planning and dismissing plans for close to an hour and not getting anywhere. Every plan had flaws, usually cause Sherlock and Dawn were simply too smart for their own good and John was liable to shoot them if they tried some of the other ideas.
“I can't believe I'm about to say this,” Xander groaned after a moment. “But can't we just lock them in a closet until they spank their inner moppet?”
Buffy opened her mouth to argue and then snapped it shut, thinking about it. Dawn's issues stemmed from not wanting to deal, thus she was avoiding the boys. According to what Mycroft had uncovered, Sherlock's issues stemmed from not being comfortable having the feelings he was having, not to mention his kissing Dawn had not produced the results he'd been expecting. John was, as far as they knew, still in denial.
Locking them in a closet to deal might actually work.
“How would we keep Dawn from teleporting them out?” Vi asked, frowning.
“John and Sherlock don't know about the supernatural,” Mycroft said. Buffy didn't tell him she was pretty sure Sherlock, actually, did know but just wasn't saying it. Now was not the time.
“Dawn wouldn't want to break them,” Willow agreed. “But I can put up a ward around the place, make it impossible. I've done it before.”
Council HQ actually had cells now, for beings they'd been able to catch but needed to either interrogate or didn't know how to kill when they'd been initially encountered. Not even magic could penetrate the cells. If Willow could do that, Dawn would be trapped.
“What about Sherlock?”
“I can handle his tricks,” Mycroft nodded. “I know what he'd try.”
“I can't believe we're seriously contemplating this,” Xander sighed.
“It was your idea,” Spike pointed out oh-so-helpfully. Xander merely glared at him.~~*~~
None of them could agree when to do it, or even how to get them all in there, and it was nearing dinnertime so Buffy decided to call for a break and order pizza. Mycroft left, he had a dinner meeting he couldn't miss with some military guy, and Buffy found herself in the kitchen alone with Spike, getting plates and drinks.
“You really don't mind the idea of a threesome?” she blurted out, staring at him, as he reached inside the cupboard to get some more cups. He shook his head and she frowned. “Why not? You've hated every guy Dawnie's wanted or did date.”
Spike was silent for several minutes before he finally shrugged. “I didn't mention it cause One-Eye was looking like he was about to have a heart attack, but Dawn...when I broke into the blokes flat, I could tell Dawn'd been in there more than she'd been in her own place. And I know they were the ones who dealt with idiot who cheated on her. I found him the next day, hadn't heard about him being hung, and the moment he saw me he wet himself. Apparently Sherlock and John had mentioned that what they were going to do to him, which was bad enough, had nothing on me if I ever got it in my head to make good on my promise to make him regret hurting Dawn.”
Buffy mentally translated that into “they already proved to me they can take good care of her,” and smiled.
“If they hurt her though,” Spike said, turning to her with a lethal grin, a hint of gold in his eyes. “Not even Mickey'll be able to protect them.”
Buffy rolled her eyes as he left the room, all smug grace. Then she realized what Spike had called her boyfriend.