A/N: Sorry for the delay, I had the outline written a month ago, but RL kept coming up with delays. But, here we go! Timingwise, from here on out, we are firmly between episodes 2 and 3 of season 4.
The ten people House had kept around to jockey for the 3 open positions as a fellow under him, were in the old-fashioned classroom he had appropriated for the purpose. They could hear him coming long before they saw him - the cane hitting the floor was kind of distinctive.
He entered the room wearing a suit, or at least the House version of a suit! He had a Vest, Jacket, good Pants, a tie, even if it was just looped around his neck like a stethascope. He was carrying a number of folders under the arm that wasn't holding his cane.
"Good morning, class! My name is Mr. House, and I'm going to be your teacher today!" He picked up a piece of the chalk and wrote "Mr. House" on the board.
"Scooter, since you're the youngest, you get all the crap jobs. So, hand these out, one to a student." Tapping the folders he had laid on the desk at the front, he looked at the oldest person in the room, even older than him. Henry Dobson, the man House called Scooter, got up, moved to the front, grabbed the stack, and began to hand them out, while House continued.
"Patient is a 28 year old male, presented for a mugging 4 weeks ago. No particular problems with the surgeries involved with that, other than interrupting my own nap, and sent home in due time. A week later, when he returned with a 'friend' for his stitches to be removed, a jerking, spasm-like motion was noted in his left arm. Doctor on site diagnosed Syphilis, diagnosis was confirmed, and treatment started. Treatment should have lasted 10 days. On the 17th day of treatment, I was the one in the clinic to exchange medication, and realized the error of the other doctors. So, what possible diagnostics can be made of this?"
"Any other symptoms?"
"Don't know. That's part of your job - you're the students, not me."
"Wait, I know this, this is Xander!" House actually looked a bit surprised that one of them knew the patient - he knew at least two had done the simple bag exchange on the treatment, but didn't figure either would remember a single patient. Number 37 [or Travis Brennan, as the rest of the world called him] continued "Okay, well, he spent a year in Africa, a few years back, then at least a month a year since; it's not beyond belief he got some exotic disease from a bugbite while he was there."
"Good knowledge of the patient's past, interestingly possible idea, but there's so many possibilities, the poor guy wouldn't have enough blood to check all of them. Pick out one, and get back to me."
"Could it be an extreme version of Parkinsons?" That was one of the Twins, 15b.
"Nice try, no. Unlike with Parkinsons, he doesn't regain control when trying to conciously move the arm - it jerks even when he is trying to control it. You get a D, and that's only because you're a twin, and I have creepy thoughts about twins."
"It could be an Autoimmune disease." That was the only Mormon and black man in the room, Jeffrey Cole.
"Again, like with Grumpy over there, too broad a spectrum. Come back to me with something more specific, number 18."
"Could it be disdyachokinescha?" spoke Chris Taub, number 39.
"Interesting idea." House wrote the word on the board, then off to the side, wrote out 'auto-immune', and 'African bug bite'.
"Amytrophic Lateral Sclerosis." That was another one of the women in the room, this one wearing a sign that said 13. House wrote it under the disdyachokinescha.
"Well? There's ten of you, and I've only heard 5 responses so far."
"Huntington's Chorea!" That was the excitable man, the youngest in the room, Lawrence Kutner. Since House had his back to the room, writing on the chalkboard, he missed the very slight stiffening of 13's shoulders.
"A strange presentation of epilepsy?" Scooter put forth. House wrote this under the bug-bite and auto-immune listing.
The Twin who hadn't spoken yet suggested "It could be something simple, like a pinched nerve, with a strange presentation." House just looked at her for a moment, then slowly wrote it under the good ideas list.
After examining what was written in the file, and noting what wasn't, Amber Volakis raised her voice. "It could be a Pancoast tumour. If it's on the left side, it could have ridden up, and be affecting the nerves."
"Good idea, Cutthroat Bitch. That's thinking outside the box, the sort of thinking that might get you an A." House wrote it on the good side.
The last of the doctors, who hadn't yet spoken, finally broke her silence. "Could it be a blood clot, or the result of a mini-stroke?"
"No. Maybe you'll see that interaction on one of the animals you used to treat, but not in a human."
House looked over the good reponses, then drew a line connecting the pinched nerve to Pancoast tumour, and moved the epilepsy idea to the good side. "There's five good ideas, that we'll start with, and ten of you. So, we'll split you into teams of two, and you can each do one of these. Let's see, Scooter, you did good earlier, so we'll pair you with the pretty twin, looking into epilepsy. Taub, since you used to be a plastic surgeon, you get the fat twin, looking at disdyachokinescha. Grumpy, you and the Vet are a team, you get ALS. Hmm, 6, or is it 9? 69! You and Cutthroat Bitch will be a team looking at the possibility of a Pancoast tumour, or pinched nerve, and that leaves numbers 13 and 18 together for the last team, with Huntingtons. All right, get with your partner, come up with a test, first one with a good plan gets first shot at this."