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Xander and Yet ANOTHER Demon

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This story is No. 1 in the series "Xander and the New 'Verse". You may wish to read the series introduction first.

Summary: Three years after the fall of Sunnydale, Xander Harris is in a bar, and something that isn’t human just walked in. It has to be a demon, right? Even if this is Colorado Springs…

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Stargate > Xander-CenteredDianeCastleFR133460,6151851389415,65312 May 1217 Jul 12Yes

Sam and the Vampire

A/N: See chapter 1 for disclaimer, spoilers, notes on AU, and why Xander has his eye back.


Sam had learned the hard way to carry a couple unusual items around in her BDUs on a regular basis. That included a miniature spec ops periscope, along with a few things she really was not supposed to be carrying around, like her lockpicks or her butterfly knife or her trinium-dust wiresaw. She tried looking through her periscope. She looked through it with one eye and without a mirror with her other eye. It was still impossible. It was some sort of trick, because…

Wait a minute, when she looked at the corpse without a mirror, she could plainly see the girl had no injuries. And there ought to be two puncture wounds on the neck, to go with the cause of death. What the…

“Harmony Kendall, come on down!” Xander crowed merrily.

The corpse opened its eyes. Its glowing yellow eyes that were unlike anything human, or even Gou’a’uld. Her pretty face transformed. Ugly ridges appeared at her brow. Her canines elongated into fangs.

No. This couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be what it looked like. It couldn’t be a…

The corpse of Harmony Kendall sat up and climbed easily out of the coffin. Sam distinctly heard Carolyn gasp, “That’s medically impossible!” At the same time, Sam found she was instinctively backing up and pulling out her zat.

Xander just smirked. “Everyone? Pull out your weapons if they’re not already out. This is not an alien, this is a vampire. A real, not-so-live vampire.” He looked around and said, “Okay Harmony, I’d appreciate it if you’d go right through the big guy with the gold tattoo on his forehead, and attack the big sergeant behind him. Now.”

And suddenly, the corpse moved. Harmony moved so fast Sam didn’t have time to get off even one clean shot at her with the zat. It was Hailey who hit Harmony, with a zat right between the shoulderblades. The zat shot didn’t faze her. Which wasn’t possible. The MP beside Sergeant Michaelsen put a round right into Harmony’s chest, and she didn’t seem to notice it. And that wasn’t possible either!

Harmony grabbed Teal’c. Before he could stop her, she threw him across the room. She casually backhanded the big MP who had just shot her, and the man was knocked backward so hard he bounced off the wall. By then she was already on Sergeant Michaelsen, knocking his weapon out of his hand and pinning him against the wall with unbelievable strength and sinking her fangs into his neck…

Harmony stopped. “I don’t have to really bite him, do I?”

Xander calmly said, “No, that’s perfect as is.”

How the hell could he be so calm about a… a… Sam couldn’t say the word, even in her own mind.

But the fang-faced girl just turned her head and said, “Oh good! I… Hey, I have a bullet hole in my dress now! Darn it! You guys are so buying me a new dress after this.”

Sam gulped. Hard. The girl was clearly far stronger than the massive sergeant, stronger and faster than Teal’c even, and the bullet hole – which had to have gone through her heart – was… oh god, it was already healing over. At least she hadn’t bitten him… With those two fangs… In the neck… Like a stab with a barbecue fork…

Sam muttered “Holy Hannah,” and sat down hard.

Sam looked at Harmony’s fangs, and her face. She considered Harmony’s impossible strength. And suddenly everything made sense. It was a sense that was insane, but anyone would say the same thing about the SGC. Barbecue fork accidents, mostly to the neck. At night. ‘Gangs on PCP’ with ‘deformed faces’ or ‘wearing masks’, because PCP had a reputation for increasing strength and resilience to insane levels. Wild animal attacks. Girl dead in a cemetery. Destruction in a cemetery. A man with a gymbag that held a crossbow and wooden bolts, and wooden stakes, and fire, and water. Water that could have been blessed by any priest…

Vampires were real. There was a well-concealed but worldwide vampire epidemic that was being fought by hok’tar. And Xander Harris was training them, just as he had helped one Buffy Summers for so many years. Buffy Summers, who had told her parents she was fighting vampires and she was ‘chosen’ somehow. They hadn’t believed her. And those trips by Summers after which the numbers of violent murders and missing persons dropped? “Oh God.” Sam looked over at Jennifer’s pallid face and guessed, “You knew?”

Hailey shook her head slightly, not taking her eyes or her zat off the vampire in the room. “No, colonel. But all the webpages we looked at… all the websites we searched… all the intel we accrued… it was the only thing that made sense, even if it didn’t make sense at all. In the briefing room, I was afraid if I said it out loud, you’d Section Eight me.”

Oh yeah. Sam was thinking about a Section Eight for herself right about now.

Xander said, “Wow. You figured out about Sunnydale just by web searches in one night? And you worked out it really was vamps and demons? You’re a genius! I mean, even Willow needed time to process, and she’d just seen several up close and personal.” He turned to Sam and asked, “Hey, can we offer her a job?”

Sam managed to keep the tremors out of her voice as she asked, “How are these things even possible?”

“Hey, I’m not a thing! I’m an undead American person!”

Xander said, “Not helping, Harmony. Anyway colonel, the answer is magic.”

Sam instantly said, “There’s no such thing as magic.”

She watched as Xander mimed her exact words. He smirked, “Everyone says that. This is where we usually pull out one of our witches. Or wizards. Or mages. Or whatever. They have all these different names for the same thing. I can’t do that right now, since Evie isn’t one of our mages and I can’t do a decent spell. But it’s magic. It’s real, it’s replicable under the right circumstances, and I can arrange a phone conference for you with the world’s leading expert on magic and science, and how one relates to the other.”

And who could that be? It had to be someone who had a science background, for starters. Sam looked at his fond smile and had another epiphany. “Let me guess. Willow Rosenberg?”

He grinned, “Wow, you guys are awesomely good.”

Sam just stared at him. If she was so good, why did she feel faint? Vampires were real. Magic was real. “What else is real, if we’re supposed to accept ‘magic’?” She took another guess. “Everything researched by Rupert B.C. Giles as ‘folklore’ or ‘mythology’? Because that would be…”

Daniel jumped right in, “That would be fascinating! R.B.C. Giles wrote a journal article about how the mythology of ‘demons’ was related to-”

“Daniel!” Sam snapped. “Not now, please!”

Xander said, “Is there anything you guys haven’t figured out yet?”

Daniel said, “Well, I haven’t figured out some of it, but if you’re carrying weapons with silver, and cold-forged iron, and wood, and blessed weapons, then are you facing demons or sidhe or werewolves too?

Xander slowly shook his head. He grinned, “I can’t believe you guys figured all of this out in just one night. We try not to fight werewolves, because they’re normal people 98% of the time, but some demons can’t be killed easily except with cold iron or silver or blessed weapons. And-”

Harmony asked him, “Can I change clothes now? This dress is really tacky, and now it has bloodstains on it. And is there anything to drink? I’m thirsty, and I had to stay in the coffin for the whole stupid drive out here because of the sunlight, and it was really uncomfortable!”

Dr. Lam nervously asked, “Umm, do you need… a particular kind of human blood?”

Harmony dropped her vampire visage and smiled vacantly. “Oh no, I don’t drink human blood anymore! I have a reputation to maintain!”

Xander explained, “Harmony’s running an NSAWC program for vampires who don’t want to get staked. It requires staying off the human blood, plus regular blood tests to make sure.” He turned to Harmony and said, “I told them to bring something along, so just wait until we can get it out of the van. I think it’s pig, with some vole and ibex added.”

Harmony clapped her hands like a ten-year-old girl and smiled, “Oh goodie! You know, it just doesn’t taste right unless it’s got just that little dash of ibex.”

Sam blinked and managed to ask, “You have blends of non-human blood designed to ‘taste right’ to vampires?”

Harmony said, “Oh sure! You can’t ask someone to give up food for, you know, stuff like vitamin pills, you have to give ‘em something they want to drink. Plus, since I’m the figurehead of the company, I take the same blood tests as everyone else, so I need to watch what I drink. At least I don’t have to watch my weight anymore. That was a pain. I was always bitchy when I was hungry.”

Sam really didn’t want to know what a bitchy, hungry vampire was like, if Harmony was this dangerous when she was in a good mood.
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