Disclaimer: The author claims no ownership of any of the characters appearing inside of this crossover piece of fanfiction. You'd be surprised what I concocted this time folks. The characters of Xander Harris and D'Hoffryn are the property of Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy Productions/Twentieth Century Fox. The surprise crossover characters are currently the property of Nickelodeon, if my copywright/trade mark holders information is correct. The author makes no profits from this work of fanfiction. That is all.
Xander Harris woke in a raging inferno. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing as somehow he appeared to be in a flaming building.
Sweat poured down his brow as he glanced around trying to determine how he’d arrived here. The place was burning wild, with flames licking everywhere, Xander leapt out of the way of a falling beam and spotted what appeared to be a safe path out.
A woman’s scream reached his ears as he escaped the room he’d woken up in, being the heroic white knight that he was, he decided to follow the sound and try and save the poor soul who had also become trapped in this hellish nightmare.
Trying to avoid touching the licking flames that seemed to have consumed one entire side of the building, Xander found himself standing in a hallway filled with doors and staircases, an endless sea of flames licking at one end. Blinking briefly he tried to grasp what he was seeing, especially as the purple clad weirdoes started charging him from the opposite end of the hall. The blinking didn’t help. “Ok… Did I just wake up in total weirdsville or what?”
“Cowabunga!” The shout came from somewhere behind and above him. Xander turned once again cursing the insane Preacher who ruined his depth perception, just in time to see a group of green creatures wearing different colored bandanas and wielding ninja weapons land at the bottom of a staircase and charge the weird purple wearing dudes.
“Say, dude, what are you doin’ in the middle of this mess?” The orange one stopped to stare at Xander with a goofy grin.
“You got me.” Xander blinked once more, he was not talking to Michelangelo of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, it just wasn’t possible.
“Well instead of standing around, why don’t you take that emergency exit and leave these foot goons to us?” the one in red suggested in the middle of destroying several robotic foot soldiers.
Xander shook his head. “Someone’s in trouble and I was going to help them.” So saying this he turned and started walking towards the source of the scream, as he walked he paused briefly to pick up a discarded dagger from one of the broken foot soldiers.
“Dude, no offense, but can you even fight?” Michelangelo eyed Xander skeptically.
Smirking Xander plunged his borrowed dagger into one of the brightly colored foot soldiers and snatched their sword before it exploded. Properly armed in both hands now he resumed his journey, not understanding what drove him, but knowing he was in it for the long haul. Whatever it was.
“Ha, ha, ha, ha! Tonight I dine on turtle soup.”
“They’ve taken Splinter! Let’s go dudes!”
“Random weather we’re having, isn’t it?”
Xander’s haze of memories brought him up short as he glanced around in some confusion, one minute he was fighting against the Shredder alongside the Ninja Turtles to save the day, the next he was once again in a strange location. This one relatively unfamiliar, and he couldn’t put his finger on it, but something just felt out of place.
“Wasn’t I doing something important?”
Without warning a large flashing red light appeared above Xander’s head. Insert Coin, Insert Coin, Insert Coin. He had no idea what was going on, but he suddenly got a very bad feeling about this.
“That’s right, Alexander, you are now trapped within an arcade machine.” Smirking D’Hoffryn emerged from the shadows and clapped. “Finally figured it out, it only took you about seventeen tries before your consciousness emerged from the limbo caused by your transition here.”
“Buffy will get me out of here, creep! If this is about losing Anya.”
“That has nothing to do with it!” D’Hoffryn interrupted with a snarl. “I take offense that you’d even think such a thing, do you think me so petty? No, this is something a bit more in keeping with your meddlesome nature, the PTB contacted me directly to ensure that you wouldn’t be around to interfere in a little plan they’ve concocted. What better way to keep you occupied than to keep you trapped perpetually in a machine that took up so much of your time in your youth, before the Slayer.” Smirking now D’Hoffryn waved a hand revealing more of the title screen.
Xander clenched his hand tightly and squared his jaw. “You’re going to regret this when I get out of here.”
D’Hoffryn smiled darkly. “I’d love to see you try. The beauty of this little prison is that you can’t escape it. Not unless you manage to beat the game, but since one of those four amphibious creatures is always going to make the killing blow against their nemesis… Well, I feel you may be trapped here for a long time to come.” His gloating finished D’Hoffryn faded away, leaving Xander behind on the title screen watching as the Insert Coin prompt kept flickering.
Xander grinned ferally as he turned to face the ‘screen’ and waited patiently. “They really underestimate my determination, I wish those PTB would just give up on trying to control me.” Cracking his knuckles Xander waited, it wasn’t long, he almost thought he could hear the plink of the quarters sliding into the arcade cabinet.
Xander braced himself for the jarring sensation of scene change. “Time to show them just what I can do… I have to wonder though, is the player able to see me and know that something’s different about this copy of the game? Or is it like I’m the invisible man who wasn’t there?” Shrugging, as he doubted seriously he’d ever find out the answer on this end, Xander once again found himself surrounded by the raging inferno of the first stage to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Arcade Classic.
Part of him was ready to end this strange repetitious loop, but another part of him kind of wished he could hear the awesome soundtrack while wailing on the foot.
“TURTLE POWER!”The End?
Not counting the disclaimer or this, this is a thousand word drabble I cooked up this morning for the sake of not getting rusty in writing. And also because I felt this sudden strange urge to re-visit an idea I may have shared before, in fact I feel like I wrote something similar to this at some point in the past. But for the life of me I can't figure out if I actually did or just thought I did. Anyway, enjoy. And if there are any arcade games you'd like to see Xander trapped in... Feel free to write one up yourself to share. :D