Rewritten Disclaimer: I do not own a singular thing that you/most people can recognize. I own the main character, and a few others, and the plot, and a few relationships. I'm hoping to get a few good things said about me, and good reviews might help me write more of the story. Here's hopin', right?
"So, let's go over this again." The bald man in front of her said.
She sighed exasperatedly. "If you think that'll help. A week ago we went off planet to PL-X233, locally known as Octennious, and the local DHD was missing. As it turned out, the local Goa'uld overlords had it, and when we learned of this, we decided to go after it. I mean, what were we supposed to do? We didn't have any other way to get home. Not to mention the fact that we were drunk. So we got stupid enough to go on a suicide mission, instead of living and letting live the way that you guys would have liked, which would have ended with lots and lots of people dead or missing, probably both, and no information back to you. Honestly, I'm surprised that even one person out of us all made it out. I mean, a few hundred Goa'uld with just as many loyal Jaffa against one SG team? Like I said, three times now, I'm surprised that there's even one survivor. But, plus side, there's only a fraction of the opposition left on the planet.
"When I left, I was basically a bloody pulp. In fact, I feel just as pulpy now as I did when I came home. Then I spent the next week in the infirmary, conversing with the lovely Janet Frasier about pinup girls and how stupid they are, and what things she has pinned up at home. Especially a little black book that I stole from her home the month before that ended up saving my life. The next thing big enough to mention that happened was you calling me in here to talk, and answer your questions as to how I got all of SG-6 killed, with me as the only survivor. Now you're as completely up to date on my life as you want to be.
"One last thing? I just want to point out that the suicide mission wasn't my idea. I thought of it, considered the likelihood of success compared to the likelihood of dying, and decided that it just wasn't worth the risk. When Joe Keiker brought it up later, I'd had plenty to drink, which is why I was okay with it then."
"And what happened to your team, exactly?"
"To be honest, I'm not entirely sure. Some died in front of me through staff blasts, some through ribbon device blasts, and some by those sword things, which are pretty darn rare and can split a person clean through at a twitch. But for some I wasn't there, and for the rest, well my recollection is a little fuzzy because of the liquor.
"So, all that's left is to basically draw up my release papers and send me home."
The general was surprised. "Why say that?" Oh, so
"I mean, it's obvious isn't it? I screwed up, got SG-6 99% eradicated, and came back as a drunk pulp who was basically passed out on her feet. In order to save face and keep SGC running smoothly, you have to let go of the loose cannons, and I don't see any other category that I fall into, other than slightly cowardly and willing to follow any stupid order given to me."
The general "Hmm"ed and pulled out three pieces of paper from a skinny file. One was medical, made obvious by the imperceptible scribbling, and one was a mission report. The latter seemed forebodingly familiar to her, though she couldn't pinpoint why.
"That isn't quite what these say. Do you remember that mission you ran 2 months ago?"
She cringed. "How could I forget? I ran the op and lost 3 people. They were good men and they died because I was an idiot." 'Not to mention that 'most everyone else was unconscious.' She added silently.
"Didn't you also threaten your CO with 'C4 suicide' if he gave you another op to run after that?"
She cringed further as she squirmed in her seat. "I was hoping he wouldn't mention it." She said quietly.
"He put it into the final report."
Her face went white. Putting a blatant suicide threat/promise like that into a final report was like death on a sandwich. "If that is so, sir, then why haven't I been canned?"
"Because you deserve a Medal of Honor and a Purple Heart for your performance there, and on Octennious."
She was absolutely stunned. "Say what?"
"The medical reports read like reports from an army hospital 30 yards from battle, and note that each and every broken bone was set and splinted except for a few small ones, almost every wound was cleaned expertly, and that, according to your CO who was the first awake in the infirmary, you took on that challenge all by yourself, even with most of your own injuries. Our final words about the op was that if that wasn't grounds for promotion at least as far up as SG-2, then he didn't know what was."
Her jaw dropped. Almost nothing has ever astonished her this much. One, she'd thought it was a complete failure, discounting the fact that she'd gotten it done after springing a trap that had almost crushed them. Two, he'd thought she was worthy of inconveniencing SG-2, and three, the general agreed. SG-2 was practically royalty, the metaphorical princes of the kingdom that was the SGC.
"Are you kidding me?"
"Not a chance little lady. 2 weeks ago, he came to me about his recommendation, saying something about bad feelings, and hoped that this bit of calm we were having wasn't the calm before the storm, but he made me promise that if it was and you survived, that I would promote you." He slid over the third piece of paper. "I'm a man of my word, so at 0800 tomorrow morning, you'll meet your new team in Conference Room 1. Take the rest of the day off to shower, rest, and get yourself ready for tomorrow."
Distantly, she heard a voice say, "Okay." and it took her until she reached her bunk that the voice had been hers.
Lost in her musings, she fell asleep long before she realized she was tired.
At 0815 hours, the door to Conference Room 1 flew open as the girl scrambled in, stammering out excuses rapidfire until she stopped to take a breath.
Then her jaw dropped.
Then she fainted.
A/N: Hehehe. Yeah, I know, it's kinda terrible, but I think it's funny. Sure, almost all of it is talking, but this was basically the first concrete piece in my head, and quite honestly, I think it's an okay beginning.
I will try to get in my second chapter soon.