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Thoughts on the Massive Effect of Rampant Bunnies

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Summary: One-Shots revolving around a BTVS/Mass Effect/Doctor Who crossover universe.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Games > Sci-Fi > Mass Effect TrilogySemetFR1848,0572155,90321 May 1231 Dec 12No

A Good Man...

AN: Wow, I haven't updated ANYTHING in a long while... Though to be honest, I just haven't had the time. And when I have had the time I've just been too tired or under-driven to write something outside of the papers I've had to write on and off throughout the semester. Regardless, I hope you all enjoy this one.




‘Now this is just plain weird…’ Was the only thing Garrus Vakarian was able to think as he looked at the big blue box that had materialized out of nowhere inside the cargo bay. And it wasn’t helping matters with how Xander had rushed down to said cargo bay the moment he’d heard about what was going on. Of course there were more than a few of the Normandy’s crew pointing guns at the box in question when the immortal had finally gotten there but he’d promptly ignored them all, despite Shepard yelling at him to get back, and striding straight up to the box and giving a quick set of knocks to announce himself.

When the door opened not a second later who Garrus saw was NOT who Garrus was expecting to see... The man that now stood in the blue box’s looked to be human but even from this distance Garrus could tell that he really wasn’t. With a lanky and thin build the man from inside the box had brown hair and eyes and was wearing a brown suit with what humans called a ‘bowtie’. And despite doing his best to not jump to any conclusions there was just something about this mysterious man that put the turian on edge. Regardless Xander seemed to be at ease around him so Garrus made himself relax a little.

“Doctor, what can I do for you old friend?” Garrus heard Xander ask as Shepard and a few of the members of her ground team started inching their way closer.

“I’m here to call in a favor Xander.” Was all this ‘Doctor’ said, his face a completely serious and stony mask. Xander’s immediate change from care free to deathly serious was startling to say the least, and when he spoke his words came out colder than Garrus had ever thought possible for the man.

“Alright, what do you need me to do?” Xander asked the stranger without a moment’s hesitation.

“Get in.” The Doctor said as he stepped aside so as to let Xander enter an interior that Garrus had just noticed was a LOT bigger than the size of the blue box would suggest. And Xander was just about to step inside when he was stopped by Shepard via a sharp,

“Stop! Just what the hell is all this?”

“This, my dear lady, is me asking my old friend here to help protect another friend of mine.” The man with the box said almost nonchalantly.

“Don’t worry Shepard,” Xander said as he turned back to face his commanding officer, a small smile now replacing the stony expression that had graced his features not even a few seconds ago. “I’m just going off to help out a friend for a little while. I’ll be back before you know it.”

“You can’t just up and leave without giving some sort of reason! And I mean a real reason!” Shepard barked out as she gripped her side arm. Apparently she did NOT like the thought of her best friend going off to who knows where for who knows how long without her. Xander had once told Garrus that the women in his life had a tendency to become a little over protective at times, and it appeared that this still held true.

“Oh, stop worrying so much guys. I’ll probably be back before dinner.” Xander said as he gave Shepard and his other present teammates a reassuring grin before he stepped into the mysterious blue box and closed the door behind him. Right before the door opened back up and the strange man pointed some kind of small blue tipped device at a nearby terminal for a second then retracting his head and arm back into the box and closing the door again. Then there was a strange sort of whirring sound and said box just seemed to fade away for a bit before disappearing entirely.

“What the fuck just happened!?” Garrus heard Jack nearly shout out; he could tell that she was just saying what everyone else there was already thinking.




‘Demons Run when a Good Man goes to war.

Night will fall and drown the Sun,

When a Good Man goes to war.

Friendship dies, and true love lies;

Night will fall, and the dark will rise,

When a Good Man goes to war…’


These were the words that stuck so firmly within the minds of those that were allowed to watch what was transpiring on the screen in front of them, even though they did not know that they were actually hearing them. As it was though only Shepard, the members of Shepard’s ground team, Joker, and doctor Chakwas were allowed to remain inside the cargo bay at that time. Though none of them had quite seen this side of Xander before…

His usually jovial face was for once completely devoid of humor as he wore clothing and military equipment for his original time period mixed with that of the modern day and age while holding an old fashioned axe in one hand and an M-6 Carnifex in the other.




“Alright everyone, you know what to do…” Xander said loudly as he shifted his grip slightly on the weapons he was holding in preparation for what was to come. “Protect the kid.”

“Indeed.” Vastra said next to him (she had just been about to say the same thing) as she and her companion Jenny as they too prepared themselves. Then they heard it, a droning sort of tune that sent chills up and down the spines of all those present, making even the most stalwart of them cringe as they listened to it.

“Oh my God, that’s the Attack Prayer!” The large blue man known as Dorium Maldovar said with no small amount of fear in his voice.




“What the..? What the hell is an attack prayer?” Jacob asked as he, like everyone else there, kept his eyes glued to the screen. Now Jacob wasn’t a stupid man, it was just that the happenings of the last couple of hours were taking their toll on what he could easily accept without having time to decompress and process his day before taking on some more. Regardless, a few of his fellow teammates could barely keep themselves from either rolling their eyes or smacking him upside the head, the words ‘Attack Prayer’ were pretty self-explanatory after all.

None of them had the time to retort though, because not even a couple seconds later their attentions were brought back to the screen as all sorts of bedlam broke out around Xander.




They had been fighting for no more then 10-15 minutes by that point but to Xander it felt like a couple of hours. These Headless Monks were just pushing at what little defense they had been able to put up that hard and it was starting to strain all of them. And Xander had just finished putting down another couple of monks when he heard a loud scream off to the side.




“RORY!!!”

Everyone present in the Normandy’s cargo hold cringed at the sound of the distraught mother as the baby she was holding in her arms collapsed and melted into a strange white puddle. But it was made even worse when they noticed that the scream had been just enough to distract Xander long enough for one of the monks to shove a glowing red sword into his side. If nothing else though this seemed to snap his attention back to where it should be.

Now a lesser man would have been put down, or at least slowed down quite a bit by such a grievous wound, but Xander merely grit his teeth as he shoved the pain away and kept on fighting. It soon became apparent however that his wound was in fact making him slip up more and more because another sword had made it through his defenses from behind and went through his chest and right lung, but even then Xander just kept on fighting.

Joan Shepard knew that such things were nowhere near what it would take to maybe actually kill her partner. This fact didn’t keep her from feeling as if it was actually her who had just taken yet another sword, this time to the stomach, at the same time he did. It didn’t help that the monks that had managed to stick Xander with their blades were destroyed right after and therefore their swords didn’t get the chance to be pulled out of her friend until he was able to take a second to yank them out himself, which hadn’t happened yet. The fighting so far was that fierce. So she just stood there along with the rest her team and most trusted colleagues as they all watched Xander suffer through what had to be complete agony, and there wasn’t anything that they could do about it.




“Well then soldier, how goes the day?” River Song asked as he materialized into the newly finished battlefield surrounded by the corpses of monks, Silurians, and Judoon. The Doctor was not pleased.

“Where the hell have you been? Every time you have asked I’ve been there. Where the hell were you today!?” The Doctor demanded as he got in close and purposely invaded her personal space.

“I couldn’t have prevented this.” River said calmly.

“You could have tried!” The Doctor retorted heatedly.

“And so, my love, could you.” River said before shifting her gaze over to a fallen and quite dead Xander. “But before we get into all that I think someone should wake up our friend there. I’d start by pulling out the swords.”




To say that most of the team was surprised when after a few minutes of having the swords that had been put through him removed Xander took in a sharp and much needed gasp of air would be an understatement. Zaeed summed it up nicely with,

“Well shit… I know that the kid is as tough as they come but this is getting fuckin’ ridiculous.” None of the others present could do anything but agree.




‘Demons Run but count the cost,

The battle’s won but the child is lost…’

Xander couldn’t write anymore. He had no idea just what had made him sit down and actually pen some poetry of all things but he had done it anyway. It was sad, bittersweet, and it tore out his heart even though he already knew how things were going to eventually turn out for little Melody Pond. He was saved from his melancholy musing though as he once again sat in his bunk on the other side from Jack of what used to be a couple of storage rooms beneath engineering by Shepard walking down the stairs to his makeshift quarters after knocking on a support beam as she approached.

“Hey.” Shepard said almost cautiously. Normally she wouldn’t have been so hesitant, especially on her own ship, but she was trying to broach an obviously uncomfortable topic with the only man in existence that had her full trust. Hell, she even trusted him more than Anderson of all people and that was saying something.

“Hey back.” Xander responded with a small smile as he motioned for her to sit next to him while clearing away a spot for her on his bunk. Taking a moment to make herself comfortable Shepard shifted around for a second before lightly bumping shoulders with the man next to her and saying,

“So, how you doing?”

“It could have turned out way worse, so I’m gonna have to say not all that bad considering.” Xander said, not even bothering to feign innocence for two reasons. One, this was Shepard and over the years it had gotten harder and harder for him to lie to her. And two, he knew that she and the rest of the team had seen everything he’d done while off with the doctor anyway so there really wouldn’t be too much of a point.

“Yeah, I saw. So did everybody else for that matter.” Shepard said tentatively. She knew that his immortality was a somewhat touchy subject for her partner and she wasn’t quite sure what he thought about the fact that the people he was currently working with the most closely now knew for a fact that Xander was far more than he normally seemed to be.

“Yeah, I noticed that.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“Talk to them I guess. Try to explain.” Xander replied with a shrug. He knew that it was all going to come out at some point for the team, he just wished that he had more of a say in just how it had all come to light. Yes, such a wish was probably a little unreasonable when he thought about it but still.

“You’re damn right we’re gonna fuckin’ talk!” This exclamation startled the two reclining companions out of their comfortable, though, brief, silence. Well, if nothing else Jack had a good set of lungs on her…





AN: So what did you all think? If you can reviews are always nice ;).

Until next time,
Semet

AN: A Cookie of Congratz to any and all who figure out the episode this is based off of. Any Doctor Who fan should be able to figure it out *Wink-Wink*. Here's to hoping I can get something else out to you all sometime much sooner than the last time I updated anything. Later!
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