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Thoughts on the Massive Effect of Rampant Bunnies

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Summary: One-Shots revolving around a BTVS/Mass Effect/Doctor Who crossover universe.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Games > Sci-Fi > Mass Effect TrilogySemetFR1848,0571145,79121 May 1231 Dec 12No

The Ultimate Rewind

AN: Hello again all. Now I know that I've been away for some time, but honestly, outside of a few ideas like this one that I've been kicking around for a while, I've just really had no ideas that I felt were good enough to put down. And when I did I just didn't have the right levels of energy to do so due to prior obligations. Regardless, I hope you can all forgive my lack of activity and still enjoy this next humble bit of my imagination.

AN: As always, please don't expect perfection. I'm afraid you'll only be disappointed if you do.




“Shepard… Joan, whatever you do, don’t blink. If you blink you die.” Commander Shepard heard from the person standing next to her. She had never heard this particular tone of voice coming from her best friend before and if she had to be completely honest with herself she would have to say that she was truly scared for the first time in a long time.

This latest little assignment from the Illusive Man was supposed to be a simple in and out op, in fact it had looked so simple that she had thought that just the two of them would’ve been more than enough to see it through. It had been a rookie mistake and she knew it, but at the time her team and her crew on the Normandy had been doing just that good over the last few months. She had let herself feel unstoppable; now she was paying the price for her pride.

“What is this Xander? What’s going on?” The mocha skinned spectre asked as the two of them kept running.

“Trust me, you don’t want to know.” Xander gasped out as their legs kept pumping and the burning in their respective lungs grew steadily. They were making like a couple of bats out of Hell as they moved closer and closer to the shuttle. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you anyway.”

“But what’ll happen if the catch us?” Shepard demanded as the shuttle finally came into view. They were almost there.

“If they catch us you will die.” These words startled Shepard. Not because of what was said, but because of HOW they were said. Xander had said them with such certainty, with absolutely no doubt in his voice, that despite all she knew (all she could do and had already done) she believed him. This, in turn, only drove the fear she’d been feeling well up within her further into her conscious mind. Without knowing what she was doing she started to pump her legs faster, and soon she had left her friend behind.

“AAAH!!!” When she heard Xander yell out she immediately realized what she had done and turned around. What she saw would haunt her dreams for the rest of her life…

There he was, Xander Harris, surrounded by statues. They encompassed him from all sides, gripping onto him so as to allow no escape. They held the images of angels, but those images had perverted as if by some darker power. It was as if their very existence was a testament to the fears of all those that lived in the universe; as if they were meant to be a mockery of everything that had ever been cherished.

“Xander…” Joan called out as she took a step towards him and the statues.

“STOP!!!” Xander yelled harshly. He had never used that tone with her before; it spoke of long experience and the undeniable right to command, even if she could still hear the profound sadness lying underneath it. She found herself obeying before she even realized what she was doing. “You can’t help me, so don’t even try. You need to go. Now.”

“But…”

“No, Joan. I can promise you that we’ll see each other again, but right now you need to run.” Xander said with no regret. He couldn’t be helped; he knew that even the great Commander Shepard was powerless in this situation and he was ok with that, even if it pained him.

“But I…”

“Run.” That was his final word to her, a single utterance that would echo in her ears for many days to come. Then Xander disappeared, and Joan Shepard ran like she had never run before.


“Hey Boss, where’s Xander?” Jacob asked as he and a few others greeted her outside of the shuttle as soon as it docked.

“Jacob,” Shapard said in a low voice, completely ignoring the soldier’s question as she tried to keep her fisted hands from shaking, “I need you and Garrus to take the biggest fucking ordinance that we have and blow that place off the map...”

“But what about Xander?” Jacob asked in obvious confusion, but he didn’t like where his thoughts were taking him at what his commander’s vocal queues were implying.

“Xander’s gone.” At this Joan’s voice went dead, colder than the deepest voids of space, before she turned on her heel and started marching towards the elevator.

“What does that..?”

“Now, Taylor.” Shapard’s tone allowed for no further arguments and Jacob found himself thinking that whatever had happened down there, it had obviously been anything but good.


When Xander stirred the first thing he felt was the heat, and soon after that he felt the hot sand under him as he laid upon it. Opening his eyes ever so slowly so as to allow them time to adjust to the light that he could see through his eyelids, he groaned as he drew in a deep breath only to cough it up as sand tried to get into his lungs. And he was just about to follow all of this up with one of his standard sarcastic quips when his eyes landed on something that made his jaw drop as he involuntarily bolted up into a sitting position. As he had already pieced together he was in a desert, so that wasn’t what really surprised him. No, what surprised him was a set of structures that seemed very much familiar, and far newer then they had been the last time he had seen any pictures of them.

There, right in front of him, stood the Pyramids of Giza. And one of them appeared to still be under construction. To this Xander found that he could only say one thing, just one thing.

“Well, son of a bitch…”




AN: This is just a little something that I think has the potential to add a whole other facet to the already extensive works of B.H. Ramsay. Just imagine it if you will, a Xander that isn't just shaped by a couple hundred years at the most, but instead a full 4-5 millenia. What new parts of his character can he bring to the story despite mostly sliding back into his old role? What new characters could be brought into the mix? Just a few things to ponder.

AN: Please review, please do, it would make my day. Until the next time and wishing you all nothing but the best, ~Semet

The End?

You have reached the end of "Thoughts on the Massive Effect of Rampant Bunnies" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 31 Dec 12.

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