In order not to spoil the "surprise" aspect of this very small, but hopefully enjoyable little drabble, all disclaimers can be found at the end - which wont take you very long to reach at all .....
Sitting in the first class section of a jet flying across country , the man, let's just call him Agent A, sat re-reading his notes. He had been quite fastidious in his note taking and observations and was just double checking for the third time. A lot was riding on his recommendation or, in this case, recommendation for rejection.
Flicking through the pages of his report he nodded to himself satisfied as each point was ticked off, frowning as some were met - but not enough to change his opinion - and scowling at additional and, in his mind, trivial points added by a junior member of staff from the Department of Acquisitions no doubt.
However, despite his disapproval, Agent A could not deny that Alexander Harris did indeed seem to have "a way with women" never being seen in the company of less than 2 and, never apparantly the same 2 more that twice. Fortunately however, this was not an essential requirement, or even a non-essential requirement of the role.
With a final check of the list:
Charismatic - check
Weapons - check but some shortcomings
Intelligence - check
Suave, debonair, sophistication - negative
Attraction to the opposite sex - check but irrelevant
Arrogance - not quite enough
The list went on and each point was considered until, satisfied at last, Agent A closed the file on Mr Harris and, after running his wrist watch over the pages to store the data, opened a compartment behind the winder releasing some acid, the properties of which he didn't quite understand, suffice to say it did the job and the paperwork in front of him shrivelled and turned to dust.
With a quick look around him, he brushed the ashes off his table and opened the next file on a "Harmon Rabb" who, on paper at least, was a much more likely candidate for a 007.
Sighing, he moved his pen to the paper and prepared to answer question one:
Martini - shaken or stirred?
Characters here belong to their respective creators; BtVS belongs to Joss Whedon, James Bond to Ian Fleming, and Harmon Rabb, from JAG, entirely to Donald P Bellisario and co. If anyone has been credited incorrectly this is just an error on my part - it still doesnt make them my creations.