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This story is No. 1 in the series "A Badass Family". You may wish to read the series introduction first.

Summary: A collection of one shots telling how Agent Coulson and his niece Buffy battle rules, betrayals, Aliens, Gods and mystical identities to find their happy endings. Ch 8 -Just how did Clint, Coulson and Natasha handle Buffy's little death period..

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Marvel Universe > Avengers > Buffy-CenteredhellbellsFR15917,45947037,93614 Jun 125 Jan 13Yes

Fun and Games

Fun and Games
Authors note Thanks for the reviews from zlataslawa, bradsan, eriktheviking, kittenpoker, jupitersdaughter & pinkedhairedharry

Beta: McGurrin

-----------------------------------------------Fun and Games --------------------------------------------------

Fury was sitting behind his desk listening to the junior agent complain about an unprovoked attack by a young blonde that he wanted to see punished.

Fury really did enjoy toying with idiots, this Agent was only there because he was rich and entitled, sadly even he had to play the political game.

“You want me to bring Agent Coulson’s 16 year old niece upon charges because you’re embarrassed even though she was asked to do this by me.” He didn’t say anything else, he felt that one sentence said everything really.

It was interesting he had never seen anyone lose colour so fast. Fury wondered what had scared him: the fact he’d been bested by a 16 year old, that she was Phil’s niece, or that he had given the order. Okay the last one was not strictly true but Fury figured that he could classify it as a retroactive order.


Fury smiled and it was all teeth but he didn’t care the guy was a douche. Fury may be a big bastard. He was always the first one to admit it, he was proud of that fact so he didn’t bother to hide his enjoyment, “All personnel will be taking part in the field test.”

“Field test!” Fury supposed he’d give the idiots points for not letting his voice crack.

“Indeed you are being tested on evasion and situational awareness.” It said something when you learnt to couch a paintball exercise in suitable politically correct language.

“What does this exercise mean?”

Fury smiled and was going to enjoy this part, “Well the exercise has been refined so Hawkeye and the Slayer are not allowed actual arrows.”

The agent stuttered, “They are calling the young girl Slayer?”

Fury tried for an innocent face, he was pretty sure that he failed, after all, he hadn’t been innocent in a long time. “She has more than earned her title.”

Maria Hill walked in and her body language screamed contempt for the man, “Sir Black Widow, Hawkeye and Slayer have been issued with the exercise parameters.”

Fury lent back in his chairs looking at the monitors, “well let the fun and games begin.”

Coulson looked over at the three unrepentant agents, “You know when I asked you to oversee them I hoped to limit stunts like this.”

Natasha shrugged, “Sorry Anderson was being an idiot. Buffy offered a non lethal way of me gaining revenge. I thought you would be happy.”

Phil sighed because with one sentence she had just neatly backed him into a corner. “I suppose you’re right but Director Fury has asked you to conduct a two day exercise.”

Clint was waiting for the penny to drop, “Relax Barton I think Buffy has saved you. He wants you to take these paintball guns, evade, conceal yourselves and eliminate as many agents as you can. It is not an option for you Agents. Buffy you can’t be ordered but I think you could learn a lot.”

Buffy grinned, “Hey, I’m just loving the chance to see where you work. If I can have some fun and learn something that will help me stay alive well then kudos to you guys.”

Coulson was not a naive man, he knew better than to believe the innocent faces he was currently seeing. Oh well, he’d sit back in his office and watch as they unleashed what he vaguely hoped was controlled chaos.

Clint unrolled the blueprints for the different floors and chucked communicators, which Buffy fitted copying Natasha.

“So Grasshopper what would your plan of attack be?”

Buffy tilted her head to the side and contemplated, she ran several scenarios through her head. “I don’t know a suitable one I’m used to being a lone wolf.”

Natasha smiled, genuinely shocking Clint; he’d never seen his friend take to someone new that quickly. The red-headed agent spoke, “It’s good to recognise what you do and don’t know. My suggestion is we play to our strengths.”

Clint smirked, “Who will you be this fine evening?”

Natasha showed his the long brunette wig, “Natalie Rushman is starting today in HR.”

Buffy was snickering, “Poor Miss Rushman to start work during such a period of tension.”

Natasha snickered softly, “Go show Buffy the best walkways and if you’re feeling nice show her some of the nests.”

Clint smirked, “Come along sparrow.”

Buffy feigned outrage, “The demon world calls me Slayer and you think I’m a sparrow?”

Clint smiled and Natasha figured that several female agents’ ovaries had just exploded. It was even funnier when she knew that none of them had a chance, Coulson would only have show the slightest interest and no one else would get a look in.

Tasha need twenty minutes and she was ready, Coulson had already had emailed the perfect forms ready for her ‘secondment’.

Meanwhile, walking stealthily above the walkways and corridors, Clint was showing Buffy cool places for eliminations and better ones for surveillance. Buffy had guessed that Clint had his intelligence behind his clown act; just like she hid behind the Cali-girl.

She asked him hopefully, “Can we really go to town on the ass-hat we got with an arrow?”

Clint shrugged there was certainly no love lost between him and Anderson. After all, Buffy gave him the perfect cover, “What do you have in mind sparrow?”

Buffy pursed her lips in displeasure at the nickname, “Well we have tiny paintball cartridges, if we’re good we can right messages.”

Clint pouted, “If? We can paint smiley faces.”

Buffy snickered softly mindful of the fact that she was meant to be quiet, “We’ll have to take out a few others or he’ll go whining to Nicky.”

Clint was proud that as an experienced agent he didn’t fall off the edge in shock. He managed not to show any shock in his voice, “you know the Director?”

Buffy nodded, and showed him her belt with the stars firmly in place, “Yeah he gave me these as a gift. They are so shiny and deadly that they are perfect.”

Clint muttered softly, “Note to self, keep you and Natasha apart.”

Buffy grinned, “Don’t worry about that besides I’ll put in a good word with Uncle Phil.”

Clint narrowed his eyes, “Christ your dangerous. Right let’s get started I say one point for the drones, ten for the agents, twenty for senior agents and fifty for Agent Hill, Agent Coulson.”

Buffy’ eyes were alight with mischievous, “One hundred if you dare to go for Uncle Nicky.”

Clint held his hand out, “We have an accord, do you agree Natasha.”

“This is on we have to get them all.”

Buffy pretended to be confused, “I thought they were agents and workers not pokemon.”

Clint shook with silent laughter, “Come on let’s go.”

Within an hour Buffy and Clint had taken out the agents in the training room and had taken great glee in eliminating all the agents who were staying outside to train.

Buffy hollered, "400"

Clint chimed, "410"

Natasha made them wait for their update, her visit to legal had eliminated the department but she was still behind. A visit to the Canteen caused mild uproar before she left without being noticed. She didn't bother to hide her amusement, "420"

After two hours they agreed to meet back up and assess how well their plans had progressed and who was left.

The day did not get better for any of the staff.

Coulson waited until the end of the day to brief the Director alongside Hill.

Fury didn’t even bother hiding his amusement from his two deputies, “Well?”

Coulson actually snickered when he handed over the photographs of some of the most attacked personnel. Fury smiled on seeing Anderson being front and centre. He put the photos on the desk, “Whose handiwork?”

Coulson shrugged, “Buffy executed Barton’s plan.”

Agent Hill couldn’t resist, “I don’t suppose I can have a copy of that photo.”

Fury nodded handing the photo over to her, “My gift to you.”

Of course, the next day, everyone was on edge. They really didn’t want to get in the way of the epic paintball match that erupted. A memo went out to the effect that, the personnel were free from being attacked as the senior team were conducting a field exercise. The only way the personnel would end up coated was if they got in the way. Hill and Fury were overseeing operations, with their paintball guns by their sides.

It ended up being three teams, Hawkeye & Natasha; Coulson and Buffy and finally Hill and Fury.

Buffy read the rules of the game, “The rules state that we are playing it as a competition but what if we agree to work together before splitting up.”

Clint was admiring, “Wow you’re such a positive influence on your niece!”

Coulson smirked deadpan, “It’s good when they grow up right.”

Buffy and Natasha shared a look of commiseration. Buffy asked silently if they flirted a lot and Natasha’s response was delicate shrug as if saying, ‘what can she do’.

Fury in the end had to bow to the sneakiness of the sixteen year old. She had created an alliance so as to eliminate him and Hill; then almost immediately the family had turned on their partners.

Clint pretended to be betrayed but a buoyant Buffy rebuffed any complaints, “Uh huh our deal was until we had eliminated our foe at no point did we make a deal for a time limit after that.”

Hill looked between the family members, “I’m not sure if we should encourage you pair or split you up to stop you from taking over the world.”

Buffy snorted, “Too much work, it’s better to rule from the shadows.”

Fury said nothing, “Amen spitfire, came back soon.”

Buffy was sad to be leaving but she could admit the visit had been good for her. The battle with the Master had shaken her. Her Uncles calm nature and willingness to accept her, had helped her heal.

She did not share the visit with anyone in Sunnydale for a long time. It had been personal and there was also the small matter of none of her friends having the right security clearance.

To this day she had yet to shake off the spitfire moniker around S.H.E.I.L.D’s headquarters. Every year, barring when she was in heaven she returned and they re-enacted the paintball battle. To this day she had yet to be defeated; the latest battle included the Avengers and the teams had changed but that is a story for another time.

-------------------------------End of Chapter------------------------------------------
Authors note As always, please read and review, I love to hear your comments.
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