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Don't Mess With Mama Joyce

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Summary: Joyce Summers has dealt with a lot of supernatural problems over the years of being the mother of The Slayer, so a misbehaving Norse god is no match for her, or her paddle.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Marvel Universe > AvengersRuneWitchSakuraFR1311,20115575,65114 Jun 1214 Jun 12Yes
AU in which Joyce recovered from brain surgery with no problems.

!!!MINOR SPOILERS FOR THE AVENGERS MOVIE!!!

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Joyce Summers had been through a lot over the years – her eldest daughter dying three times, both her daughters, and even herself, having several near death experiences each, not to mention all the strange things that went down in Sunnydale, and then Cleveland.

When the call from Nick Fury came asking about her eldest daughter, who had just recovered from nearly dying at the hands of another hell god (as if Glory hadn’t been bad enough), Joyce refused to be parted from her daughter’s side. Especially as it was yet another god Fury was calling over.

When Fury protested, she had taken the phone into another room for 48.3 seconds (Dawn timed it), and then brought it back out. Fury, with a now less composed voice, agreed to have Joyce and Dawn tag along with Buffy.

Upon arriving at the helicarrier, Dawn immediately latched onto Bruce Banner and began a long conversation with big words and a lot of technobabble. Buffy’s eyes glazed over after the second sentence and she left to find the gym.

Joyce went to fix herself a cup of coffee, and then she joined Nick Fury to watch as the god in question was brought onboard.

“I don’t like this,” Fury said. “Something’s off.”

“He’s no doubt got several plans to escape and cause a large amount of chaos and destruction on his way out the door. He is a trickster god, after all,” Joyce said. Fury stared. “What? You think I don’t read just as much as I can get my hands on with this stuff. My daughter is out there fighting things like this every day and night. I wanted to know as much about it as possible.”

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It was only a few hours later when the helicarrier lurched to the side before straitening again. Joyce went to check on Dawn – Buffy could take care of herself for the moment, but Dawn was still learning. Finding her daughter and Natasha huddled together in a corner watching with wide eyes as Hulk and Thor duked it out had not been amusing.

Not one bit.

“WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?” Joyce yelled. The two stopped beating each other up, and looked up, startled. “Look around you! You’re frightening people! And look at this mess! PUT HIM DOWN!”

Hulk’s shoulders drooped but he did as Joyce said and put Thor down.

“Now, apologize.”

“Hulk sorry.” Thor patted him on the arm.

“I forgive you.” He then caught sight of Joyce’s pointed stare and raised eyebrows.

“Well?” She asked.

“But I-”

“No excuses. Apologize!”

“I’m sorry too, Banner.”

“Hulk forgive you.” Hulk then attempted to pat Thor on the back, but only succeeded in sending him sprawling to the floor. “Oops. Hulk sorry again.”

“Good. Now apologize to the girls for scaring them.”

“Hulk sorry.”

“As am I.”

“Now, start cleaning up the mess you made.”

“But my brother-” Thor started.

“No excuses. I’ll deal with him. Clean.” As Joyce walked away, a still slightly shell-shocked Natasha turned to Dawn.

“Your mom is awesome.” Dawn grinned.

“I know.”

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When the helicarrier lurched, Buffy’s first instinct was to go check on Loki. In her way was an archer – judging by the glowing blue eyes, it was Hawkeye – the one Loki had put under mind control. He was good for a human, but Buffy was a Slayer.

It only took her twenty-three seconds to knock him out. Continuing on the way to Loki’s cage (after handcuffing Hawkeye to the catwalk railings of course), she saw Coulson standing outside the door, holding a large strange looking gun.

“Your mother is terrifying,” he told her. Buffy took a peek into the room to see her mother. And Loki. Her jaw dropped.

“Yes she is,” Buffy muttered. “Oh, I am so happy she never used that thing on me.”

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Joyce Summers didn’t look threatening, which is probably why Loki paid her no more than a glance when she entered the room. He certainly wasn’t expecting her to grab him by the ear and pull him down to her height.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Loki shrieked.

“You, up,” she said to the man sitting in the chair.

“Uh,” he hesitated, looking between her, Loki, and the paddle in her other hand.

“Now!” The chair was vacated almost instantly. “You should have gotten one of these a long time ago.” Joyce sat down in the chair, dragged Loki over her knee, and pulled down his pants, before proceeding to spank him with the paddle.

Loki continued to shriek out his protests but Joyce was not to be stopped. Eventually Loki fell silent, and when Joyce stopped spanking him, and pulled his pants back up, he had suspiciously shiny eyes. Joyce pulled him into a hug.

“There, now no more hurting people, okay?” Joyce said, as she rubbed his back.

“’Kay,” quietly came from Loki.

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A few hours later, Fury, Coulson, The Avengers, The Summers Family, and Loki were all being debriefed. Fury didn’t seem too happy about having Loki there, but as all he was doing was flitting between getting as far away from Joyce as possible and coming back to get another hug, he grudgingly allowed it.

The glare Joyce had given him when he tried to suggest otherwise had nothing to do with it. Nothing at all. Really.

Thor seemed overjoyed at having his brother nearby, but every time he tried to give Loki another hug (he had surprised Loki with one earlier), Loki immediately flitted back to Joyce’s side. Buffy seemed to find this amusing.

Dawn would latch onto Loki every time he came near her and begin babbling at him about magic. Bruce pretended he wasn’t listening to every word the two spoke. Tony didn’t bother to hide his listening in at all.

Natasha was holding and icepack to Hawkeye’s forehead and alternating glares between Loki (who mind controlled him), Buffy (who was the reason he needed the icepack), and Fury (who put him on the tesseract project in the first place). Hawkeye watched Loki and Buffy both warily.

Steve seemed completely baffled as to how everyone was in the room and not fighting. Coulson was the only person in the room who acted as though having a bunch of superheroes, a supervillain, and a civilian family all together in one place was completely normal. That just baffled Steve more.

When Thor mentioned taking Loki back to Asgard, Loki latched onto Joyce, Dawn cuddled into his side, and all three Summers women glared at Thor, who slumped in his seat, attempting to make himself a small a target as possible.

Loki decided it was one of the more amusing sights he’d seen. He didn’t show it, however, not wanting to risk getting another spanking. One was more than enough.

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Strange ideas come to my mind at three thirty in the morning. This is one of them, well, actually two of them, although originally it was Molly Weasley telling off Thor and Hulk and Joyce spanking Loki, but I couldn't figure out why Molly would be there, so Joyce got both.

Enjoy.

The End

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