Buffy in the Sky With Diamonds

By: Alec McDowell



Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or spaceships from Buffy or Battlestar Galactica.



“Willow!” Buffy hissed at her friend. “What the hell did you do? Where are we?”

“I- I don’t know, Buffy! It’s not my fault! It was a simple transportation spell, we should be at Giles’-“

“Well, we’re not! This place is definitely not Giles’ house. It looks military. Crap, did you send us into the Initiative?!”

“No! At least, I don’t think so, this all looks a little primitive for the Initiative guys and they were more into the blinding white and ‘Caution: Evil Research’ signs posted everywhere and Riley told you they shut it down!”

“Yeah well sorry for not trusting secret government agencies that like to butt their noses into my town and mess everything up. It would be so like them to-“

The sound of a throat being cleared made the Slayer break off mid-rant. Buffy and Willow turned towards the noise and saw a man and woman standing a few feet away. They were adorned in black BDU pants, and, for some inexplicable reason were wearing layered tank tops, a smaller black one over white. Apparently one shirt wasn’t enough; Buffy thought to herself as she took a moment to ogle the very nice arms on the man in front of her. Tearing her eyes of the biceps, she noticed oddly shaped dog tags around their necks. Buffy nudged Willow and gave her an exasperated look. “See, Will, I told you this was military.” She turned back towards the people and gave them her brightest smile. “Hi there. Look, um, I know we’re not supposed to be here, so if you could just show us the door we’ll be on our way, yeah?”

The man shook his head. He was of average height with dark brown hair and piercing blue eyes watching the two of them closely. “Sorry, ladies, we’re gonna need to take you into custody. No civilians are allowed on Galactica.”

It was Willow’s turn to nudge Buffy. “What’s Galactica?” she whispered as quietly as she could. The blonde woman overheard her, though.

“Fantastic, Apollo, we got ourselves a couple of frakking nuts.” She pasted a patronizing sneer on her face. “Galactica, as in the Battlestar protecting the fleet.”

“Uh… Battlestar? Oh! Hey!” Willow’s eyes lit up in realization. “It’s like that TV show, Buffy! From the ‘70s. Xander used to watch the reruns.”

Buffy made a face. “Willow, I hate to break it to you but this doesn’t look like the ‘70s. There’d be more yellow, and hair, and probably disco. I’m glad there’s no disco.”

The man and woman were gaping at them both now. Buffy smiled again. “So, then, you two want to fill us in? What is this Gibraltar place and where is it?”

“Galactica. It’s the Galactica and we’re orbiting the planet Kobol,” the man replied warily.

Willow squeaked. “I knew it! We’re in space!”

He blinked. “… yes?”

Buffy’s eyes widened dramatically. “Get out.”