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The Baker Street Very Irregulars

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Summary: Buffy and Faith prove that some things are not elementary.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Literature > Crime > Sherlock Holmes
Literature > Sci-Fi > Author: H. G. Wells
(Current Donor)RavanneFR1899,99713713,62930 Jun 1227 Jul 12No

Chapter One

I own and make no claims on any characters or story concepts from Buffy The Vampire Slayer nor any other recognizable characters or story concepts. They belong solely to their copyright holders and I thank them for being allowed to play with their toys.

“Mr. Holmes, I’m so very glad to see you. Have a right strange one for you here,” Inspector Forbes said as he rose to greet Holmes and Dr. Watson.

“Inspector, your message was most intriguing if somewhat short on details,” Sherlock Holmes stood next to Inspector Forbes and looked down the alley to where a group of bobbys were standing next to the body of a young woman while questioning one of their numbers who appeared somewhat upset. “What is it that you have for me?”

“Patrolman Wilkins here,” Inspector Forbes waved over the upset policeman, “was walking his beat earlier this evening when he spotted Shilling Shirley, a lady of ill repute and low morals enter this alleyway with a gentleman. He made his way to the alley expecting to catch the pair in some illicit activity and… here, let him tell you in his own words. Go on lad tell Mr. Holmes here what you saw.”

“Mr. Holmes,” patrolman Wilkins said excitedly. It’s a real great honor to meet you. I’ve heard so much about you and all.”

“Yes officer, thank you. Pray continue with your tale and please… leave nothing out. The smallest detail may have critical import.”

“Well yes, sir. As the Inspector said I come down to the alley expecting to catch Shirley up to her old tricks as it were and when I came around the corner I spied her in the embrace of a man. He was a tall man wearing dark clothes and a cape of dark grey. His back was to me and he appeared to be nuzzling Shirley’s neck. When he heard me he lifted his head and turned to me, “ Wilkins swallowed nervously. “I ain’t never seen anything like it before and hope never to see it again. His face was horrid like some grotesque mask. It was all lumpy and his eyes were a sickly yellow. But it was his teeth. Like those of a wild beast and his mouth was red with blood. He growled at me a growl like some beast from the jungle I tell you.

He dropped poor Shirley to the ground and you could just tell from the way she fell and lay there that she was dead. He then started to move towards me and I don’t have to tell you I was scared. It was then that they appeared.”

“They?” Holmes interrupted, “who appeared?”

“Two young women, girls really I guess. They were wearing the most unusual clothes. Downright indecent if you ask me showing so much naked flesh and all. One was dark haired and looked like she just came out of a bordello. Wearing a tiny thing just barely covering her bosom and leather pants like a man’s only they was real tight and left no doubt to her gender. The other had light hair almost a honey yellow and she was smaller but even so she seemed to be in charge. She was a bit more modest than the dark haired one but not by much I tell you.

They pretty much ignored me and started towards the beast man. It was almost like they knew him or knew of men like him. So they move one to each side of him and tell him that he picked the wrong place to be tonight or some such and then they charged at him. It was over in seconds the one girl the light haired one stabbed him in the chest and then the most remarkable thing happened.”

“Do go on man. What happened, leave nothing out,” Holmes leaned forward soaking in every detail of the patrolman’s account.

“The man just exploded in a cloud of dust. One moment he was standing there with a surprised look on his deformed face and the next he was gone. Well I must have come to my senses about then and I blew my whistle to call for help. As soon as I did and heard an answering whistle the two girls ran off. And let me tell you. They ran like no girls I have ever heard of. They took off right down this street here,” he points down the street behind Holmes. “And I ain’t never seen anyone run so fast. A horse at full gallop couldn’t have kept up with them and when they reached the end of the street they jumped right over that wall there nice as you please. Just up and over like they were stepping over a curb. Now that’s pretty much it until the Inspector and then you shows up.”

“Thank you, patrolman Wilkins, a most remarkable tale as you promised. Watson, what do you make of the patrolman’s story?”

“I think he’s been too long in the local public house is what I make of it. Sounds like a story people tell around a fire on All Hallows Eve.”

“Yes, yes it does at that, Watson. Yet we have the body of a woman and as yet no other story of how she died.”

“Inspector, Mr. Holmes. What do you make of this?” One of the patrolmen approached carrying a white object in his hand.

“Let me see that man,” Mr. Holmes said taking the object from the patrolman. “Watson, come look at this. It appears to be a tapered cylinder of some stiff paper and one end is covered with a material like I have never seen before.” Holmes sniffed the one end that had a small opening in it. “Coffee, it seems that it once contained coffee. And look here. Does this mean anything to you? Starbucks?”
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