Disclaimer: All characters belong to their rightful owners... none of which are me. Top Cow Productions owns The Darkness, ME owns Xander & everything else. I own nothing.
Authors Note: Just a little drabble that popped into my head. Don't really know when the next full part will take shape. Just haven't been in a mood to write for a long while.
I was sitting in a Waffle House somewhere in Kansas chuckling to myself.
"Don't worry, I'm not crazy. I'll tell you the joke in a little bit since I know you want an explanation. It was only about a couple hours ago I was sitting on a rooftop in Los Angeles with the head from a demon and laughing at the sky."
I watched the a frown rise on the face of the woman sitting across from me. It made me chuckle some more. "Oh relax. I'm not evil. As I told Angel earlier, I don't want to rule the world or end it. I love this planet. I just want to let us; as in humanity, decide things for ourselves. No Powers That Be or Wolf, Ram and Hart influencing things. Unless they are the supreme being in the universe it's time for humanity to decide things for themselves. I'm hopeful that with some good nudging from people like you it might happen."
I shook my head as she just scowled at me. "I'm serious I'll explain the last couple of hours and then you can tell me what you think."
"Okay so there I was in Los Angeles sitting on a roof top and laughing at the sky..."
See what had just happened was I had watched my elite force of Darklings smash through the demons that were flowing out of a portal in the sky over Los Angeles and dive into the portal. I could feel them pop out on the other side and plant Sentry. Of course right after they went through the portal closed up.
That's why I was laughing so badly, they had closed it too late. I had gotten Sentry though and he was all that mattered. See Sentry is a Darkling that I am able to track. Think of it like a phone line and the 911 operator. If you dial 911 from a landline the operator knows exactly where you are. Well it works the same way for me with Sentry. I now knew the location of him and the dimension he was in. Plus as a link to me I immediately started sending more darklings through him to that location. So I now had a foothold there.
My army started swelling from around 50 initially to over 100,000 darklings in about 10 minutes.
Yes, I'm that powerful and inventive. I've already told you I've mastered the power of the Darkness and as I don't really have many limits to what I can do with it.
Anyways on to what happened next.
So there I was with the demons who had survived the crossing from the hell dimension now stuck here. As such I sent some Darklings to do some demon removal. It didn't take long really. Just over 5 minutes before body parts were raining down all over the place and Los Angeles didn't have anything to fear from them since they were all dead.
I sat back and was watching HD, he's my humongous flat screen TV. He was broadcasting Live TV feed from my Darkling Handycam squad. Who were on the other side of the portal filming everything. Oh, it was glorious. The darklings were ripping through demons like tissue paper. They had even stumbled over a couple other portals and Extinction had promptly tossed a couple darklings through them along with some cousins of Sentry.
It was amazing. I'd spread the darkness to over 10 Hell dimensions in about 30 minutes and that doubled in the next thirty before the opposition got organized enough to slow my advance in the initial Hell dimension my forces had entered.
So I was reclining in a chair watching the assault and almost got scared to death from a scream nearby.
Luckily I didn't die but sadly HD wasn't quite so lucky. He got incinerated by the blast of light. Don't worry all my video footage is backed up so I didn't lose anything. He was just a TV, all video is safely stored on my home server. Though I'm thinking of uploading clips to YouTube. I could really make some money with the footage from viewers. I've got some great stuff of demons and such looking stupid as their head gets ripped off.
Anyways I dove out of my chair as it was torched and rolled on the roof before turning and seeing who had attacked me from behind. It was The Angelus
No not Angel. He still has his soul and is running the law firm. Even though I doubt his bosses will ever be contacting him again. I think I just made him the new Senior Partner of the firm.
I said "The Angelus" just like you say "The Slayer."
The Angelus, is like my opposite number. I thrive in the dark and it lives in the light. I bring Chaos and it tries to bring Order. Let me tell you though she was HOT!. I mean you look great but The Angelus and her minions were like supermodels with hardly anything on. It was a little distracting.
"Prepare to die!"
Yeah, I haven't mentioned that though she is hot she wants to kill me.
Will you stop laughing. Of course I know it's my luck. I mean The Angelus is only roughly the sixth woman to want me dead.
Anyways I promptly exercised the great Xander Initiative #2. When outnumbered and there is the possibility being overwhelmed and dying, run away.
As such I ran for my life.
Why you ask?... its simple. Our fighting is pretty much a draw every time. We are the opposite side of the same coin so why waste my time fighting and potentially dying when I can just run away. As a distraction I sent a bunch of Darklings at her and her minions while I ran for the roof edge. Once I reached it I just jumped off the roof and vanished into the shadows, making my escape. Of course just before I fell into the shadows I heard her make one last cry.
"Coward stand and fight!" which was shortly followed by "Get off me you perverted dark creature!"
Hence why I'm still chuckling. If you're going die for something, getting a good feel of a hot woman's breast is probably one of the better ways to go and my Darklings are all pretty expendable.
"Now I hope you're going to be understanding and let me just walk right out of here. Think about it Buffy. The Powers are the ones who have manipulated your whole life or at least tried to. Hell one of them did do it to Cordy and that's why she's dead."
I reigned in the anger that rose every time I thought of why she died. They were getting their just desserts for letting one of their own kill her.
"All I'm doing is killing evil people or demons who aren't peaceful. I want humanity to get off this rock and explore space. Why should we be bound to this planet. If humanity works hard at it we might be able to reach Mars in 50 years. If the Powers were still trying to run things that would probably never happen. They never wanted things to change. They didn't want humanity to advance or change any further. They wanted you to fight demons your whole life. Which probably wouldn't be that long of a one. Remember Slayers have a short life expectancy."
I smiled at her. "I want you to live a long life and have kids. I don't want you to always have to slay demons. To do that you can't have any demons trying to kill you or end the world. Soon you and the rest of the baby Slayers won't have a job to do. I've found a spell for you already. Give it to Willow and you can start removing the Slayer spirit from those who don't want to fight and were empowered early. That way the Slayer line would continue, which as of right now is not going to happen since all potentials were activated.
I grabbed my wallet and threw some cash down to cover the food. Before standing up and saying one last thing.
"If my projections are right Buffy. Earth is going to be free of any type of evil demon by the end of this year. The Darkness is almost everywhere now and I'm not going to stop until anything that wants to destroy or rule this planet is dead. Plus any end-of-the-world widgets that are lying around I'm going to collect and activate in several Hell dimensions that I don't mind destroying."
I touched her shoulder briefly as I walked past her towards the lone shadow by the restroom door. "See you around Buffy. Give Willow, Dawn and Giles my love."
As I reached the shadow I turned and saw Buffy was still sitting in the both looking stunned. I gave her a wave and watched her slowly raise her hand and wave back slightly.
It made me laugh. "Well guys I think Buffy's on my side. Let's go see the world. I'm thinking we'll start with Rome. Pasta will be nice to have for dinner after we kill some demons.
With that I took that last step and vanished into the darkness. The End