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Avengers and Slayers

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This story is No. 2 in the series "Avengers and Slayers". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: Xander and a team meet up with the Avengers, before they became the Avengers

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Marvel Universe > AvengersRafMereCFR18109168,23334673416,9281 Jul 1221 Jan 13No

Last Minute Developments...

Disclaimer: I don't own either the Buffy verse or the Marvel verse. See previous disclaimers.

 

 

I would like to thank my Beta MissE.

And a big thank you to all those who reviewed.

 







Manhattan, New York.

The Coffee Bean Café.





 

"So how did the two of you meet?" M.J. was both curious and amused by Peter's young super friend. She thought that the obvious crush the young teen had on the oblivious Peter was cute.

 

"It was at the latest Apocalypse." Felicia took a sip from her huge mug of hot chocolate.

 

"It so was not an Apocalypse. It was just a minor alien invasion." Peter scoffed at thought that Felicia classed a battle with Aliens as an Apocalypse.

 

"It was so an Apocalypse. Did you not hear Xander explain what happened to Willow and Rona?"

 

"I did and at no point did the word Apocalypse ever came up."

 

"It so did. He called it that usual time of year when the big bads had a go at it. Made a play for the gold medal. He even said that a Mad God with an arrogant streak a mile wide was in charge. That so makes it an Apocalypse."

 

Mary Jane had to stifle her giggles. Felicia was one cute and passionate young lady. She did not want to make her feel uncomfortable. "Felicia..."

 

"Yes?"

 

"Why do you want to call it an Apocalypse?" M.J. added some more honey to her herbal tea and stirred the cup.

 

"Money."

 

"Money?" Mary Jane repeated.

 

"What does money have to do with anything?" asked Peter.

 

"Yeah. Money. And it so has everything to do with it."

 

"HOW?"

 

"Peter, calm down. There's no need to shout. We can both hear you just fine, tiger. Felicia?"

 

"I guess you need more of an explanation. Well for starters, like I said before I'm a slayer. And a Slayer was made by the powers to fight evil. She usually fought alone with a creepy old man to watch her ass. Half the time those old men did only just that: they watched and perved on the sweet young innocent maidens charged with protecting the planet..."

 

Peter pretended to play a violin and wiping his non-existent tears.

 

"Peter," admonished M.J. on the inside she was cracking up. This girl was hilarious. No wonder she liked Peter's alter ego. They were made for each other.

 

Peter stopped playing around.

 

"Anyway, before the adorable jerk stated to make fun of our tragedy..." M.J. put her hand over Peter's mouth to stop him from interrupting the story again.

 

"That's it, mister doubtful. No more Slayer history for you." Peter gave her the puppy eyes, and she relented, "Nowadays there are a lot more slayers than there are watchers. There are exceptions. Like Giles is Buffy's watcher – she's like the head slayer – and Xander is Faith's watcher – she’s the second slayer chosen by pure fate alone. The rest of us were called when Willow did this funky ass spell that activated all the potentials worldwide, and has been doing so every year on the date she cast the spell. I'm not sure how that works, and I'm not curious enough to ask. I'm a slayer not a watcher after all. As we got organized there had been changes. Like slayers are paid a decent salary..."

 

"By whose standards?" asked Peter.

 

"I think we're payed like SHIELD agents plus the Apocalypse bonus..."

 

"Apocalypse bonus!" both Peter and M.J. Interrupted this time.

 

"Yeah. Like save the world from going to Hell or exploding or a world altering external invasion that would change our way of life as we know it, you get payed one hundred thousand dollars bonus per Apocalypse prevented."

 

"Can anyone apply for this bonus?" joked Peter.

 

"Yes." Felicia took another sip of the sweet chocolate-y goodness.

 

"You mean I could show up and apply for the bonus, mask and all, and they would still pay me?" Peter was so sure that his doubt was showing through.

 

"Yep. Just show up at the slay house. Someone will scan your aura to verify who you are and once that is done you're paid."

 

"Are you guys hiring?" he joked.

 

"I accept you as my watcher; done through a verbal contract by a slayer and the one who asked to be her watcher. Boy will you ever love the benefits package. The pay is nothing to sneeze at either." She took another sip. No wonder someone like Mary Jane came to a joint like this. This hot chocolate was fantastic. She took a fork and attacked her triple chocolate seven layer cake covered with a white chocolate sauce.

 

While Peter was choking on his coffee, Mary Jane looked on in envy. "I guess being a slayer means you don't have to watch your weight?"

 

"Oh yeah. One of the better noncombat perks. Every girl should have this perk, but you should see our food bill. Through the roof. Not like I care, mind you. The council pays for everything. Only the best for the slayers nowadays since the Scoobies took over. They really know how to take proper care of us. They fight by our side and they bleed with us and they party with us. They know what it's like. Pigging out and not having to worry about your figure... Best power on the planet ever."

 

The model agreed with her. She would do anything for a power like that. She hated starving herself to keep in shape for her job. "I wish I was like you and Peter not having to worry about gaining weight..."

 

"I'm with you sister. I wish you were like us too..."

 

"WISH GRANTED!"

 

The world twisted and the three of them screamed. All three were changed so that they could be just like the other. First Felicia become like Peter and then Mary Jane became like Felicia and passed it on to Peter so he could become like Felicia and Mary Jane.

 



 

Manhattan, New York.

Just Offshore.





 

Xander was hitching a ride with Iron Man. They were just off the shore of Manhattan. Xander could easily see the statue of liberty from this distance.

 

A sharp jolt hit him from nowhere. He suppressed the moan of pain, and in a few seconds the pain went away.

 

He could feel that something truly funky just went down. A couple of new slayers were activated and joined to the ethereal web that connected him to all active slayers, except for Buffy. One of the new slayers felt off somehow. 

 

It came from the city in front of him. "Tony, can you please take me in that direction?" he pointed his finger towards the heart of the island.

 

"What's going on?"

 

"Something..." Xander didn't elaborate, but Tony could see that it took all of Xander's concentration to keep his finger pointed in the direction it was leading to. Tony moved from side to side to see what would happen, and was surprised to see that according to JARVIS the finger stayed on the same spot. Tony kicked it into overdrive and dove into the city following the finger. They landed in front of a café. The sign on the window read Coffee Bean.

 

Xander walked over and opened the door. Tony followed.

 

"Julie..." Xander looked around and narrowed his eyes when he saw the young man with her. He sniffed the air.

 

Peter felt a chill run down his spine. He recognized the action from earlier in the day when his 'grandfather' did it. Come to think of it Julie, or Felicia did the same. He took a sniff under his arm and almost choked on his own sweat. His sense of smell was never this strong. While he struggled to get his gag reflex under control, Xander smiled. It wasn't a nice smile.

 

"Kid, what the hell are you doing? Don't you know how dangerous she can be?"

 

Felicia threw her slice of chocolate supreme cake in retaliation. Xander caught it in his fist and took a huge bite. "Mmmmmm! Good!" he grabbed some paper napkins from an empty table and cleaned his hand and face.

 

Tony saw Xander talking to the Slayer that fought with them on the roof, the one who clung to Spider-Man like a limpet mine. "JARVIS please scan everyone sitting at that table." Tony was not a believer in the chaos theory. One plus one equalled two, and there was Julie the slayer plus the kid with the same build, weight, height, temperature and mannerism as Spider-Man in the civvies, who had to be Spider-Man. Otherwise why would a model of Mary Jane Watson's caliber would hang with the dweeb-y looking kid.

 

"Tony. Can you buy his place and I mean now?"

 

"Kid, I'm Tony Stark. I can do anything."

 

"Then do it. I need everyone out of here and you don't need the law suits."

 

"Okay. Done."

 

Xander forced himself to wait the few minutes it took for Stark's Lawyers to pull off the impossible. In reality they made a few calls. One team bought the entire block, and the other team made a play for the coffee shop. In both cases obscene amounts of money was thrown at the problem to get a quick result. When Tony gets the bill he would not be happy. It would also be a lesson to not let his arrogant mouth run away with his good sense. And yes he had a good sense, it was just not used much.  

 

"All done. Folks, this location is closed for renovation. Please leave the premises until we reopen. NOW!" 



Everyone scrambled to get out. When the café was empty, he said, "All yours." he gave Xander an elaborate bow. 

 

Xander rolled his eyes, but ignored the snark potential. This was serious, "Julie, what did you do?" he asked calmly. He wasn't fooling anyone who knew him. And Felicia knew him. New York was a hotbed of paranormal disturbances and Xander was a frequent visitor to the slay house.

 

"Why are you accusing me? I didn't start anything."

 

"You're a probability magnet. Who else am I going to blame?"

 

"She's the one who made the wish. She's the one who was in awe of my ability to consume mass quantities of chocolate without guilt. She wished she could be like us."

 

"True, but you wished for the same thing, and that's when that woman's voice shouted wish granted." Mary Jane wasn't about to take the fall entirely on her own. She didn't know the man, but she remembered Felicia mentioning someone named Xander. So this, then, must be Xander. He wasn't so scary. Nuh uh. Not a bit. She shivered some more. Tony Stark, the Iron Man, was here. She went to one of his parties and even flirted with him. He would protect her. The thought didn't make her feel any better for some reason. 

 

Xander heard a light, tinkling laughter. That apparently no one else did. When he looked around no one else seemed to notice. "Julie...What's the first rule about wishing?" he asked, instead of what he wanted to do. But he really couldn't bring himself to wring her neck. He was sure she didn't wholly deserve that.

 

"Umm...not to?"

 

"That's right. Good girl." Julie beamed at the praise. Apparently Xander wasn't as angry as he appeared.

 

"And why don't we say the W.I.S.H. word?"

 

"Oh. I know that one. 'Cause it's bad." she answered with a huge smile. The smile immediately died after she realized what she said, "Oh!"

 

"Yeah. Oh!" Xander took Julie aside to interroga...uh that is to say ask gently what happened, away from everyone.

 

The problem with that was that everyone involved had superior hearing and in Tony's case the suit plus the hearing.

 

Peter walked up to Iron Man and snapped picture. "For the Daily Bugle society page. Iron Man drops by a coffee joint...in his suit."

 

"JARVIS fry the memory on that camera and check for a Bluetooth connection, or any connection for that matter and make sure that's fried as well."

 

"Yes sir."

 

Peter's senses tingled and jumped out of the way of the highly focused invisible beam. "Hey!" he complained.



Another burst followed, this one was an all encompassing globe. No damage was done to any living organisms, but all unprotected electronic devices would have to be reset. "Sorry Spi..."



"Hey. Hey. Hey. Don't spill man. No one likes a spiller"



Tony looked around. There was Xander and the bombshell slayer, 'I wonder why all slayers have be so drop dead gorgeous. A male had to have been on he committee that made them. Nothing else makes any sense. It must be a requirement.' when he was finished looking, he asked, "Do you see anyone here who doesn't at this point know who you are?"



Peter did his own quick look and had to concede that he billionaire genius was right, that and no tingly feelings to warn him of any danger. "Man this is going to be way to expensive to replace. You fried everything. Even the stuff I took during the invasion. How the hell am I going to come with the rent? It's already a couple of weeks late. 



"Maybe you should apply for that Apocalypse bonus Felicia was telling us about." Mary Jane was keeping an eye on Peter and Tony Stark and and ear open to eaves drop on this Xander and Felicia. If what just happened, happened then she would stand by the girl. The power to be able to consume chocolate like a pig, or Peter and Julie was so worth it. 



"Apocalypse bonus?" asked Tony. 



"Yeah. It's like this..." Peter and M.J. both started to explain about the bonus. From there it was a mix of Tony flirting with Mary Jane and Peter bombarding him with questions about his Arc technology. Some how during the conversation he gave up most of the information required to create a crude version of the device he made in Afghanistan. JARVIS stopped him before spilling all the beans, but he could tell it was too late. He concentrated on Peter and ignored M.J., but the longer he talked with him the worse it got. He tried to lead him down false path, but the inquisitive teen always chose the right path. It was like he had a sense that was guiding him. The kid was no slouch when it came to brain matter it seemed. "Kid how would you like a job? If you worked for me, I'll start you off with a seven figure salary."



Peter froze in place. "S-seven figures?"



"Yeah we can renegotiate after the first six month. What do you say?"



"NO! He's mine and you can't have him." Felicia was a blur as she attacked the armored hero poaching her man. "I hired him first. Go Look somewhere else you poacher." she slugged Iron Man as hard as she could.



Unfortunately for Tony the girl hit like Thor. The punch blasted him out of the glass front of the Coffee Bean and across the street. 



"FREEZE!" 



Felicia froze. "What. The. Hell. Are. You. Doing?"



"You, you heard him. He was poaching my watcher."



"Since when?"



"Since we made a magical verbal contract that bound him to me as Slayer and Watcher."



Xander sighed. He really shouldn't be surprised. Reality tended to bend and twist around the girl. 



Iron Man flew back in full of rage ready to pound the girl into the ground. 



"STOP!" Xander channeled the full power of the Alpha into that command and it worked. Tony felt it right down to his bones. He could have resisted if he wanted, but this had better be good. 



"Are you absolutely sure you want to destroy the building you just bought?"



"Good point." Tony calmed down instantly. Money was involved after all and according to JARVIS big money. Pepper would kill him if he had nothing to show for it. Besides, now that he was all calm and everything he really didn't want to throw down with a beautiful teen girl. The press would be just out if this world bad. 



"how about this: you can hire the kid part time. That's allowed in the charter. Nothing says he can't take a second job. And as incentive this place has really good deserts. Julie how's the hot drinks?"



"Hmmmmm!" 



That moan of pleasure almost made Tony come in his pants. The girl almost had an orgasm right then and there. That was enough for Tony to forgive her just about anything. It was only a small dent after all in his billion dollar suit. 



"That good?" Xander asked Peter and his red headed friend. 



"Oh yeah!" Mary Jane was not about to preform a Hardy met Sally moment in front of Tony Stark and the mysterious but obviously influential Xander. No matter what she would get out of it. She was not a prostitot and could not get away with t like Felicia. 



"Tony...Tony!" Xander smacked the armored man to bring his attention back from the planet exotica, and back to the planet earth. 



"Hn...what?" 



"Welcome back. How about this. If this stuff is so good, that it has the power to melt a teenage slayer like that you might want to make a go of it. A chain like Starbucks. No Starbucks I've ever been too has had this effect in my slayer. They've come close a couple of times, but not to this degree. What do you say?"



Tony thought about it. If Xander was right then this would be one of the better ways to change his companies image, besides Starbucks made Beaucoup Bucks. This might recoup the obscene amount of money he just spent buying this place. "Let's talk some more. If this works I'll give you twelve percent..."



"Twelve? That's cheap Tony."



"A case can be made for fifteen if we clear a billion by this time next year." 



"Fifteen? I don't think so."



"Yeah Mr. McScrouge. What are you trying to do cheating our Xander like that?" Felicia folded her arms underneath her ample chest and M.J. Copied the move.



The three males took a few seconds to reset there on switch before they recovered. 



Tony was the first to recover followed by Xander. They had the most exposure to mind blastingly gorgeous women. Peter was a little slower, cause the women he hanged around with were nothing to sneeze at.



Tony and Xander made to leave and when the three, two of them new slayers didn't immediately follow, Xander stopped and looked back, "What? Do you need an invitation?"



Felicia squealed in delight. She grabbed both her future partners hands and ran after the man who was about to make them rich. "You're so the greatest Xander!" she jumped and hugged him. She just forgot to release the other two. It turned into a complicated huggey mess that Tony wondered how he could join?



"JARVIS make a note. I need to come up with a quick release option for the suit."



"Noted sir. The results from the scan are back. The three appear to be a combined hybrid of the Spider-Man and slayer we observed earlier today."



"Huh!" That can't be all good. Spider-Man was a proven wild card, but he didn't know about the other two, and what he saw of the girl Julie did not instill him with confidence. 
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