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Stone Age Xan

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Summary: Xander, Xander Harris he's a man right out of history. From the town of Sunnydale, he's about to be Halloweened again right into a new kind of problem. And the other Scoobies are along for the ride.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Cartoons > Flintstones, TheSithicusFR1316,8480152,0192 Jul 122 Jul 12Yes
Disclaimer: The author Sithicus has prepared a statement. Buffy, she and her friends were created in the mind of one Joss Whedon, he built up a large and impressive money making franchise with the characters and it is still going on strong to this day. All rights of ownership therefore belong to him and him alone for the characters from said Franchise.

The Flinstones, a Modern Stone Age Family, they and all other characters created by Hanna-Barbera studios are the distinct property of Warner Brothers Incorporated, and as such are used in this, a piece of fanfiction, without any claims otherwise against said ownership.

The Author Sithicus has finished disclaiming now, on with the show... *Meet George Jetson Jingle Plays Here*




Halloween is a time for dressing up in costumes and trying to frighten someone, all in the name of fun. Halloween is not meant to lead to complications in the grand plans of the big players.

Unfortunately for the forces in charge of Order there is always an opposite. Chaos is difficult to predict, it is even harder to plan proper contingencies for when events alter. A carefully laid out plan begun in the late nineteen seventies was completely torn to shreds when Xander Harris’ mother, in a rare moment of lucidity, gave away her father’s old army fatigues.

This unfortunate event began a series of changes to the very fabric of reality, it was a subtle shift, something that no one could have predicted. First the fatigues were donated to a local missionary, then Jesse McNally and Xander Harris chanced upon an old cartoon series from the nineteen sixties about a talking dog, which also led them to discover an animation companies other works.

And when Jesse McNally died at the hands of a blood demon becoming one of the vampire hoards, his brother in all but blood vowed that he would carry on the noble tradition that they had begun in their childhood.

Leading up to Halloween Night, nineteen ninety seven…



In the middle of a dark and spooky night, if you happened to be between the ages of five and eight at least, a rather unusual event was occurring. A man from across the sea had come to cast a spell he wished to use to torment an old friend of his. Unfortunately, he failed to realize that his plan would lead to the final link in a chain of events destined to alter the very wheel of fate.

Alexander Harris stumbled as the wave of mystical energy struck him. He teetered on the brink of losing consciousness and then mysteriously he stood up straighter than he had before, the prop he’d been carrying in his right hand felt more solid as though it no longer was made of plastic, and his fingers tightened their grip around the handle.

“Mister Xander, are you alright?” A terrified child who hadn’t been affected by the magic stood clutching her candy bag, her eyes wide as former friends became fiendish freaks.

“Wha?” The soul inside of Xander blinked his eyes as he tried to get his bearings, but everything looked alien to him. More modern than what he was familiar with.

The girl clutched at Xander’s costume as three hulking demonic creatures emerged from the shadows.

Chuckling a blonde man in a long black coat stood in front of the demons. “Well, well, well, look at what we have here.” Smirking he pulled out a cigarette and lit it. “And why are we waiting, people! Get him!”

The girl shrieked in terror as the three demons charged Xander.

Unable to recognize anything, Xander still knew how to handle someone about to cause him or the girl at his side any harm. Raising his right arm he brought his weapon down on the head of the first demon driving it into the ground.

The strange blonde man stared agape, his lit cigarette falling from his lips as he watched the Slayer’s lap-dog pile drive three demons into solid concrete.

Xander laughed as he finished off the third attacker, he felt so exhilarated he couldn’t help himself from uttering two words that the soul now occupying his body had used many times growing up. “Bamm, Bamm!”



Flintstones, Meet the Flintstones, they’re a modern stone age family. From the town of Bedrock, they’re a page right out of history. Let’s ride with the family down the street, through the courtesy of Fred’s two feet. When you’re with the Flintstones, have a Yabba-dabba-doo time, a dabba-doo time. You’ll have a gay old time…



Bamm-Bamm Rubble smiled after finishing off the last of the demons. The stranger in the funny looking jacket had taken off while he was protecting the little girl at his side, shrugging slightly he put his club down and knelt closer to her.

“You wouldn’t happen to know what city this is. I’m kind of lost.”

The girl eyed him as if he’d said something that didn’t make any sense. “That’s not funny Mister Xander, this is Sunnydale, you know that.”

“Sunnydale, not Sunnyrock or Rockdale?” Bamm-Bamm frowned and glanced around again. The place looked kind of familiar to him, but it was strange too. The cars didn’t run on push power but seemed to drive on their own, he couldn’t see a single dinosaur or useful animal around either. And on top of all that he had no idea where to find his wife Pebbles

“This isn’t funny. I want to go home.” The little girl in the funny costume started to cry.

Bamm-Bamm would have said something, but he was interrupted by the sudden appearance of a semi-familiar looking person. “Judy! Hey Judy Jetson!”

The white haired teen from the future approached from the air wearing a futuristic looking hover-belt. With a relieved sigh she touched down next to Bamm-Bamm and gave him a winning smile. “Like, Bamm-Bamm, totally far out. I actually managed to find someone I recognize in this crazy place.”

“Yeah, go figure.” Bamm-Bamm chuckled. “This little girl here says we’re in Sunnydale.”

“Oh wow, I never heard of that place.” Judy tilted her head to one side in curious thought. “They don’t even have flying cars here… You don’t think Elroy’s time machine zapped us both to the modern times do you? Like before anti gravity, before robots, before… Gasp Jet Screamer.”

“Maybe, we’d know for sure if we bumped into Josie or Scooby or somebody else from that era.” Bamm-Bamm turned back to the girl and gently picked her up. “Say, what’s your name anyway, kiddo?”

Sniffling the girl smiled a little feeling slightly safer up on Xander’s shoulder. “Miriam Chase, Cordy’s little cousin, you know me, Mister Xander.”

“I don’t think so, Miriam.” Bamm-Bamm shook his head. “And for the last time, it’s Bamm-Bamm, not Xander.”

Miriam crossed her arms over her chest. “I’ve heard of method acting, but this is ridiculous,” she complained.

“I think I’d better stick with you two, Bamm-Bamm, at least you can handle any creeps. Ewwwww, like what are those things?” Judy pointed at the three demons unconscious in the pavement.

Bamm-Bamm shrugged, careful to avoid dislodging Miriam, and strengthened his grip on his club. “Search me, they look like something Scooby would bump into.”

Judy sighed. “He’d probably be hiding from them. So, like what’s the plan, Bamm-Bamm?”

“First.” Bamm-Bamm grinned up at Miriam. “We get the little lady to her place, then we try and find out if Elroy really did zap us into the modern era. My future, your past kind of thing.” Taking off down the street with Judy beside him Bamm-Bamm came to a quick stop when he realized belatedly he had no idea where to go. “Ummm, where to?” Glancing up at Miriam he waited for her to point out the direction he should be heading in.

Sighing Miriam pointed towards her left. “That way.”

“Right. This would go much faster if we had a car though.” Bamm-Bamm eyed one of the vehicles sitting parked along the side of the road. “Do you know how to drive one of these, Judy?”

“Drive one of these?” Judy indicated that car. “No way! They are like totally ancient compared to the car daddy taught me to drive… Couldn’t you just, you know?” Judy pantomimed ripping the bottom out.

Bamm-Bamm let out a sigh and put Miriam down next to Judy. “Ok, but all I’ve got are some clams in my wallet. I’m not sure that the owner would take it as compensation for wrecking his car.” Reaching under the car Bamm-Bamm hauled it up clear into the air and with one solid tug the entire underside beneath the driver’s seat was gone.

Miriam stared in awe. “Just like the cartoon, maybe he really is Bamm-Bamm.”

Judy hopped into the passenger seat and helped Miriam in next to her. “Let’s put the pedal to the pavement, or whatever that expression is.”

Bamm-Bamm grinned, stuck his tongue out the side of his mouth, and started moving his feet. It was slow to start, but once it got rolling the car handled like a dream.



Not far away Spike watched with his mouth hanging open as the Slayer’s whelp pushed a, probably, three thousand pound car down the street with nothing more than his bare toes.

“Right, that does it. Next time I’m listenin’ to Dru.” Spike chose to return to his hidey hole until this craziness was over, because there was no way he was going to tangle with someone as strong as a fully grown Brontosaur.



Rupert Giles was in the middle of doing some work on the card catalogues when he felt an odd sensation run down his spine. He couldn’t quite place exactly what it was that set him off, but he could feel it to the very innards of his core.

A hand reached out from behind the stacks and tapped him on the shoulder. Giles did not scream, he did not give the person trying to get his attention the satisfaction, instead he turned around and glared. “What are you doing here?”

Angel flinched slightly. “Something is wrong, I can’t find Buffy anywhere and there are a lot of demons running wild out there.”

Giles pursed his lips thoughtfully at Angel’s words. “I find that hard to believe, Halloween, as you know, is traditionally the one night a year your type typically takes off.”

Angel nodded. “I know! All that inner Earth magic really gives me one killer migraine, Gaea works overtime this night. But someone has decided to break those rules.” Angel shifted his footing briefly and moved to stare out the nearby window. “It’s total chaos out there.”

“Chaos.” Giles adopted a thoughtful expression. “And you say you can’t locate Buffy?”

Angel shook his head in response. “Ordinarily I can find her anywhere by her scent.”

Giles eyed Angel sternly.

“Her blood, I’ve got a good memory for picking it out of a crowd,” he explained. “But tonight, it’s like she’s been replaced or just vanished off the face of the Earth. I have no idea where she is, or Xander or Willow, and there are creatures out there that shouldn’t even exist in this dimension.”

Giles once again frowned. “Do tell, how can you be certain they can’t exist in this dimension?”

Angel sighed frustratedly. “Because I just spent the last fourteen minutes trying to lose Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd pulling off one of their Duck and Rabbit hunting seasons shticks.” Angel almost visibly flinched, but stopped himself. “I was the duck.”

Giles stared at him as if he’d just recited the laws of thermodynamics. “Good Lord.”



Bamm-Bamm and Judy escorted Miriam to the front door of her house and made sure she was safely inside before turning back to their own problems. The night seemed to have escalated even further, and it wasn’t the good kind of randomness you’d expect in a cartoon world.

“I don’t think we’re in Bedrock anymore.”

“Were we ever?” Judy wondered with a tiny smirk.

“I just hope Pebbles isn’t out there in this madness.” Bamm-Bamm sighed and reached into his pocket to pull out the anniversary present he’d bought for her. Instead of removing the special piece of rock jewelry he’d bought he found a set of keys and a strange piece of wood. “Huh? What are these doing in my pocket?”

Judy shrugged. “Looks like you picked up someone else’s keys, Bamm-Bamm. Say I wonder if I have anything in my pockets?” Fishing around her dress Judy pulled out a strange looking device she didn’t recognize and her own mysterious set of keys. “Oh wow! Like what’s this cosmic looking device?”

Bamm-Bamm raised an eyebrow. “Not sure, it looks like it can open. Why don’t you try it, Judy?”

Nodding Judy flipped open the device and found a series of digit keys. “Like I think this is a phone, what a cosmic looking device. I think I know Scooby’s number by heart, think I should try it and see if it works?”

Bamm-Bamm nodded. “Couldn’t hurt to try,”

Judy started punching in numbers. “Like, if this works maybe we can find some way to get back home.” After she was finished Judy held the phone up to her ear to see if it would work, she was surprised to hear a ring tone. “It’s ringing.”

Bamm-Bamm smiled. “Great, the sooner we get out of here the better off I’ll feel.”

“You’re not scared are you?” Judy asked.

Bamm-Bamm shook his head. “Are you kidding, I’m stronger than anything out there that could possibly hurt us.”

“So, like, that means you’re flipping out in a Venuvian way.” Judy smiled slyly.

Bamm-Bamm blushed. “If I wasn’t so scared right now my knees would be knocking.”

“Hello?”

Judy blinked. “Oh wow, like, is that you Scooby?” she spoke into the phone hoping she’d managed to reach the person she’d been trying to call.

“Is this some kind of a joke? Who is this and how did you get Buffy’s cell phone?” the woman on the other end demanded.

Judy held the phone away from her ear. “Cell phone, like ewwww gross, I so totally didn’t need to find that out. I thought I dialed Scooby’s number, must have hit a wrong number by mistake.” Shrugging Judy hung up without bothering to carry on the conversation with the woman on the other end.

Bamm-Bamm sighed and hefted his club. “Well, let’s get back to the car and try driving around some more. Maybe we’ll bump into Scooby, I’d settle for even running into Snagglepuss if it meant finding another friendly face.”

“Like, I totally know.” Judy started walking next to Bamm-Bamm. “I’ll bet Elroy is looking for us right now.”

“I hope so, if I don’t get home in time for our anniversary Pebbles is going to kill me.” Bamm-Bamm opened the car door for Judy only to pull it off its hinges. “Whoops.”

Judy smiled and climbed in. “Why can’t I meet a nice boy like you in the future?”

Bamm-Bamm blushed. “Well maybe you’re just not looking in the right spots.”

“Totally, like I’d go to Ios if it meant I could actually find somebody.”

“Where’s that?” Bamm-Bamm asked.

“It’s one of the moons of Saturn, I hear it’s really rad. Like retro and everything, its where most of the people dumped off their replica Flintstone cars when the fad died down,” Judy explained.

“Oh, people got tired of those things? I guess Mister Sprocket didn’t like that much, huh?” Bamm-Bamm started peddling and got the car moving again keeping an eye out for any signs of anyone he might recognize.

“He got over it.” Judy waved a hand dismissively. “He’s rich, it isn’t like he lost any money on that deal when people stopped caring.”

Bamm-Bamm nodded absently as he continued to drive. “Mister Slate is the same way.” Trying to find anyone he might recognize in this madness he was disappointed to find that the only things running around anymore seemed to be monstrous ghouls, and phantasmic spooks. In fact, as he turned his head to the right he missed seeing a ghostly shape running out into the middle of the road.

With a startled cry, Judy tried to warn Bamm-Bamm about the person standing in their path.

Bamm-Bamm put his feet down hard, a loud screeching sound was heard and smoke began to rise up from the friction being caused at the sudden stop. The car unfortunately hit the girl, and proceeded to pass harmlessly through her.

She started giggling madly and flickered a little as she passed through Bamm-Bamm and into the back seat. “That was fun!” she declared.

“Yikes! A G-G-G-Ghost!” Bamm-Bamm shouted in terrified fear.

“Like, you’re strong enough to push this thing, but you’re afraid of a little old ghost?” Judy asked with a mischievous smirk.

“I can’t pound ghosts,” Bamm-Bamm explained with a sheepish blush.

“Hi guys,” the ghost said sticking her head into the front seat.

Bamm-Bamm gulped as he eyed this creature nervously. “Um, d-d-do we know you?”

The ghost shook her head. “We’ve never officially met, I’m Phantasma, or Phanty for short. The Phantom of the Opera’s daughter, Scooby used to be my gym teacher.”

Judy grinned broadly. “Like, wow, stellar! Scooby never mentioned you before, have you seen him?”

Phanty shook her head. “Nope, but I did bump into someone else who might be able to help us. She sent me to find someone actually, I can’t remember what she said.” Frowning in concentration Phantasma started to flicker and dance about the back seat of the car. “Oh! I remember now!” Phanty grinned. “She wanted me to find a Buffy, do you know a Buffy?”

Bamm-Bamm shook his head.

Judy adopted a thoughtful expression. “Actually I think I have her cell phone, whatever that is. I’m not sure how I got it, the person I tried phoning earlier said it was hers though when I tried calling Scooby.” Judy pulled out the phone again. “See.”

“Then you must have met this Buffy person before finding me and Miriam,” Bamm-Bamm said.

“Oh great!” Phanty shone brighter with her ghostly glow. “We can call the person and ask them where Buffy is.”

“She didn’t sound very happy I had the phone when I called earlier,” Judy said. She fidgeted nervously with the phone, flipping it open and closed while she tried to build up the courage to use it.

“Why don’t you let me try?” Bamm-Bamm suggested reaching for the phone.

“Oh would you?” Judy requested passing the phone to Bamm-Bamm at the same time.

“I’ve worked phones before, how hard could it be?” Smiling he moved his finger to dial the number, unfortunately Bamm-Bamm was used to rotary style phones and had completely forgotten that most modern phones required pushing buttons. His finger moved across the keypad for the phone and a sharp crunching sound was heard. “Oh no!”

“Maybe I should have just tried it again,” Judy said with a soft yet understanding sigh.

Phanty giggled wildly and picked up the pieces of the phone. “I thought Elsa was only that strong, hey, maybe you’ll do. The person I met said we needed somebody strong, and since I can’t find this Buffy she told me to find you’ll have to do.”

Bamm-Bamm gripped the steering wheel again and forced himself to look directly at the ghost, as he’d been avoiding her gaze since bumping into her. “W-W-Where to?”

Phanty pointed one wispy finger into the night. “I left her at a house a block over.”

Bamm-Bamm started up his feet once again and the car began to roll. Hopefully whoever it was Phanty had found could help them figure out how they’d gotten there, and more importantly how to get back home.



“This is unacceptable! The pattern is unraveling faster than we can compensate for it.”

“We must pray that events come to a close quickly. We dare not send our messenger down to speak with Angelus or the Watcher.”

“Then what are we supposed to do? Just sit around watching as eons of carefully laid plans blow up in our faces?”

“That is precisely what we must do if we are to ensure that not everything goes to pot. Personally I’m a tad amused at how events are playing out at the moment.”

“You would be!”

“Well, after all, it isn’t every day that one of my followers calls upon my powers to… liven things up.”

“Janus, if your meddling destroys what we have been preparing for since the very beginning of creation… Well I just can not be held responsible for how I will react.”

“Oh, don’t worry. Things won’t be too broken, everything can always be repaired. Or failing that, patched up.” Janus smirked at his own little fun and ignored the rest of the squabbling observers, most of whom remained content to be stuck under the Powers’ collective thumbs. His little ploy was working better than he could have expected, and now his favored champion would soon be learning that being careful what you wished for wasn’t just for fairy tales.



Rupert Giles was searching for any explanation as to how cartoon characters could be brought to life via magic, unfortunately he wasn’t having much luck, and something kept nagging him at the back of his mind. As if he should already know what was happening.

Angel had bravely gone out once again to see if he could locate any more info. It was important they learned what was happening and how to stop it, especially since it appeared that Buffy, Willow and Xander had vanished off the face of the Earth.

Giles frowned as he continued flipping through pages in one of his books, absently regarding the information on the page before dismissing it. And then it struck him. “Angel mentioned that many of the beings out there appeared to look like the costumed counterparts the children had dressed up as. Perhaps that is the key, could someone have switched the genuine articles with their costumed counterparts in this dimension? And if so, why then would only a certain amount of people be affected? Why not everyone dressed in a costume? Unless.” Here he paused and then switched tactics. Pulling out the phone directory from under the counter he quickly flipped to the pages pertaining to costume shops.

There was one number listed under Party Town. Giles’ eyes traveled across the page to the opposite side where a large advertisement had been placed. It read, ‘opening soon Ethan’s Costume Emporium’ with the date from a few weeks ago when the phone directories had been replaced for the year end changes soon to be coming.

Giles’ eyes widened and then instantly narrowed. Retrieving something else from the library he quickly took his leave, heading out to his car and a confrontation that was destined to occur.



Judy was admittedly excited about all the sights, in the future there weren’t a whole lot of places where you could see trees or things. Everybody lived in the sky; mostly so they could get away from the pollution and other problems that had developed over the years.

It was fun watching everything passing by while Bamm-Bamm drove the car, and Phanty kept giggling or pointing out directions. Or going on and on about Scooby and Shaggy and how they saved her from being a mindless evil slave of some witch or other.

“Stop!”

Bamm-Bamm once again put his feet down hard and smoke rose from the souls as he brought them to a screeching halt. “What? What’s wrong? Why’d you tell me to stop?” he asked turning to Phanty.

“Not me.” Phanty giggled again and indicated Judy.

“What’s wrong, Judy?” Bamm-Bamm studied his friend concerned.

Judy pointed out the window. “What do you see?”

Bamm-Bamm peered into the growing darkness of the night and tried to make out what Judy was indicating with her hand. He spotted it pretty soon. It was a children’s play area, a park to be exact with structures for climbing, slides, tons of things like that. “I don’t get it, what am I looking at?”

Judy shot him a frustrated look. “Tell me that kiddie ride doesn’t look like Dino,” she said crossing her arms over her chest.

Bamm-Bamm stared harder and finally noticed what had gotten Judy so worked up. “Well. It kind of looks a little like Dino, but what does that… Ohhhh.” Suddenly he got it.

“You two are acting kind of funny for people.” Phanty glanced between them.

“Elroy didn’t send us anywhere then, we’ve stepped outside our place and wound up here.” Bamm-Bamm shook his head.

“That’s why my call to Scooby didn’t work, like this is beyond cosmically bad, if Elroy didn’t send us here then who did? And how are we supposed to get home?” Judy wondered.

Bamm-Bamm reached out a comforting hand. “Hey let’s not jump to any conclusions just yet, we could still get out of this jam when we hook up with that person Phanty told us about.”

Phanty nodded. “Sure, I’m sure Cordelia will know what to do. Or if not her than this Buffy character she insists we find.”

“Well, are we almost there yet?” Judy asked turning to Phanty and staring at her impatiently.

Phanty nodded. “Yep, she’s right over there actually.” She indicated a large house half a block down from where they’d stopped.

Bamm-Bamm started up the car again, or rather his feet, and drove quickly up to the address Phanty had indicated. “Well. We’re here, ladies, let’s hope this Cordelia person can help.” Climbing out of the car Bamm-Bamm quickly opened the door for Judy.

Phanty just giggled and walked out through the front windshield.

Judy looked at the house. Something about it felt familiar for some odd reason, shaking off her newfound uncertainty she followed Bamm-Bamm and Phanty up to the door.

“Cordy, I’m back, hee, hee, hee!”

“Oh thank God, did you find Buffy?” The door opened to reveal a dark haired girl dressed up like one of the Pussycats.

Judy blinked at this new development.

Bamm-Bamm shuffled his feet nervously and tried averting his eyes. “Not exactly, ma’am, you see we ran into Phanty and she thought we might be able to help. The name’s Bamm-Bamm Rubble.” He reached out a hand to shake in greeting.

The teenager behind the door stared at both Judy and Bamm-Bamm with a look of utter disgust. “Oh great! You two too, what did I do to deserve this?”

Confused by this odd comment Bamm-Bamm and Judy shared an uncertain look.

“It’s bad enough Willow has a horrible case of the giggles in her not-dead state, but now I’ve got dorkus rex the cave boy wannabe and little miss world of tomorrow. Well you’d better get in here before anything attacks you.” Cordelia stepped aside of the door and without actually saying it, invited the trio inside.

Bamm-Bamm entered first. “We really haven’t run into anything that wants to attack us.”

“Like, not since you totally took care of those three uglies.” Judy smiled at Bamm-Bamm with fond remembrance.

Blushing fiercely Bamm-Bamm hefted his club. “Aww shucks, Judy, it wasn’t much. Those creeps didn’t stand a chance against my club.”

Cordelia’s eyes shone with new hope. “Of course, you think you’re Bamm-Bamm. And he was always strong, and… What did you do to Harmony’s car?” The shrill cry escaped her lips when she got a good look at the vehicle Bamm-Bamm had been driving all night.

Blushing once again, this time with embarrassment, Bamm-Bamm offered up a nervous shrug. “I told Judy it wasn’t a good idea, but we don’t know how to drive cars of this century. So I… Um, improvised.”

Cordy stared at Bamm-Bamm trying to determine if he was putting her on. “You, mister muscles are not my thing, tore the bottom out of Harmony’s car and drove it here like… Like on the Flintstones?”

Judy put her hands on her hips and shot Cordelia a challenging look. “Like, what else were we supposed to do? My belt can’t support more than one, maybe two if the other person is small enough. No way could I lift Bamm-Bamm.”

Cordy shot a disbelieving look between the two of them. “You mean! Are you trying to tell me that your technology and your strength came to life too with the costumes?”

“Costumes?” Bamm-Bamm repeated blinking in confusion.

Cordy sighed. “Look, here’s how it is as far as I can tell. A lot of the kids in this town were dressed up for Halloween, we were all escorting them. The teenagers I mean, are you following me so far?”

The three of them nodded.

“Right, well about an hour ago or so half the kids and most of the teens just flipped out, magically changed into their costumes. It was this whole thing, I was running away from jojo the dog faced boy when I literally bumped into miss transparency here. Boy was that creep scared when Phanty did her thing, probably some harmless freak or other drawn to my gorgeous body.” Cordelia took a breath while she studied herself in her hand mirror to make sure nothing was out of place. “The point is, with a few exceptions everyone out there running around is someone trapped inside their costumes, including the three of you!”

Bamm-Bamm stared at Cordy thoroughly mystified.

Judy on the other hand was obviously skeptical. “Magic so doesn’t exist.”

Phanty on the other hand wasn’t giggling for a change or acting spacey, instead she was staring at her own reflection in the living room window. What she saw convinced her Cordelia was telling the truth, how could a ghost not believe in magic? “This makes sense, I don’t really look like me, my breasts were never this large. I was a pre-teen daughter of the phantom of the opera yesterday. And for some reason I look like I have red hair.”

Cordy nodded. “Of course! You’re in the body of Willow Rosenberg, some nerdy spaz or other. Judy is in the body of Buffy, she’s this mystical vampire slayer thing. And Bamm-Bamm…”

“Xander.” Bamm-Bamm studied his face. It didn’t look like his face. “Your cousin Miriam called me Mister Xander.”

“Miriam? Is she ok?” Cordy expressed actual concern for someone besides herself. If the others weren’t changed by the spell right now they would have been surprised.

Bamm-Bamm smiled with a friendly nod. “Oh sure, Judy and I escorted her home after I clubbed those creeps trying to hurt us.”

Cordy sighed in relief. “That’s great. Ok, so now all we have to do is figure out how to get you back to being you and not you, if you get what I mean. But if Buffy’s all Girl from the Twenty-Fourth Century mode and you’re caveman from Bedrock guy how exactly are we supposed to figure this out? And why did I have to be the one cursed to be the only sane person out here tonight? I mean, I try to stay out of your clubs' little situations as much as possible, but what happens on the one night you said it was safe? Invasion of the Body Snatchers with special guest Cartoon’s Cavalcade of Heroes. I should have just kept walking when Buffy first tried to stake me.”

Phanty interrupted Cordelia’s lamentations by phasing through her body to get her attention.

“Hey! Do you want to cut that out? Total invasion of privacy here,” Cordy snapped irritatedly.

“Well you were rambling.” Phanty folded her arms over her chest. “Do you know if anybody dressed up as Vincent Van Ghoul or maybe Morticia Addams?”

“How should I know that?” Cordy demanded.

“Well you said these changes were magical in nature, someone with magical abilities is the only one who could hope to help us.” Phanty’s observation was surprisingly concise for the phantasm who up until recently had been acting like a loon.

“I think Jonathan was dressed up as Gandalf… No wait that was Andrew and that was last year. Hmmmm, whenever we need to know about magic stuff. Well you do, because hey I don’t get involved here, you just go see that stuffy British librarian guy. Mister Giles.” Cordelia smiled and moved towards the door. “I’ll bet he’s still in the library too.”

Bamm-Bamm had moved over to the couch while the others were talking and sat down, propping his feet up to give them a rest. “Well we’re not driving anywhere, my feet are killing me.”

Cordelia rolled her eyes. “Forget that, we’ll take my car. I do know how to make them work without using my feet.”

“Hold it!” Judy shouted. “Like, why should we try to find this librarian guy? Or even help you get some mess we didn’t even cause fixed?”

Cordelia shook her head at the outburst. “Well d’uh. Because you’re the good guys, I mean if someone’s in trouble you’re always pulling them out of burning buildings, or staking some vampire in the heart.”

Phanty shuddered. “Sibella wouldn’t like these people.”

“The point is, if you don’t figure out how this happened and fix it, well who else will?” Cordy observed with a pointed expression aimed at the blonde.

Judy reluctantly lowered her arms and changed her confrontational expression into one of acceptance. “Like, that is so totally right. My daddy would ground me for a lunar year if he knew I let someone in trouble down. He raised me better than that.”

“Mine too.” Bamm-Bamm climbed back to his feet.

“Bamm-Bamm, you’re married and a grown man,” Judy said with a mischievous smirk.

“Well yeah, but that doesn’t mean my dad wouldn’t still put me in my place if I let anybody who needed it down.” Bamm-Bamm shrugged.

Phanty started giggling again. “So what are we waiting for? Let’s go find the librarian!”

Together the group ventured out back into the night, this time heading for a car parked not too far away which had been left behind in Cordelia’s mad dash to escape from the crazed dog-faced person. What none of them noticed however where the pair of glowing red eyes watching them from the cover of the trees in the park back down the road.



Janus grinned as his familiar continued observing the three Scoobies turned, quite literally, into Scooby’s friends and companions. It filled his being with a sense of pride and gleeful accomplishment that he had pulled one over so effortlessly on the Powers and their paltry plans. Always trying to keep things rigid, ordered, without any bit of fun or spice. Was it any wonder the side of Evil had such a strong foothold on Earth?

The Wolf, Ram and Hart continued to support all those who could benefit them in some meaningless way and the First. The First was an accident waiting to happen. Humans had a saying, Good will always triumph. However, were Janus one to quote from pop culture, he might comment that Evil would always triumph because good was stupid.

Fortunately there was a deliciously wicked loop hole that the creator of all had given to her special little bipeds, the gift of free will. As sacred to the Powers of Good and Evil as it was to mortal man. Even if Janus had occasion to just, nudge things along in his own subtle way.

Chaos wasn’t the ideal solution, a little bit of it now and then however ensured that the forces of Evil couldn’t just walk in and steal the entire planet out from under Good’s control. Earth was meant as a paradise, conflict however is a fact of life, in nature conflict is simple and rarely as complicated as humans had become over the ages.

“I must remember to discuss a few new plans with my old friend Ares.” Janus smiled and clapped his hands. “A shame all of the real fun is about to end. In fact, according to my…” Janus felt the power leave as his bust was smashed by the enraged Ripper who had at last tracked down Ethan Rayne. “Followers of Chaos should do well to remember my own credo when it comes to mucking about. Always observe from a distance.” Janus laughed at his own private joke.



Xander let out a yell as his mind came back to him, his fist flew out at the thing that had been charging. He couldn’t quite figure out what was going on or how it was that they’d gotten to where they were currently, that didn’t stop him from wanting to protect himself.

Buffy blinked back the fog of confusion and apprehension as she looked down from her vantage point. Looked down, and then realized that she was hovering above the ground, with a cry of surprise she inadvertently hit the switch deactivating the still operational hover belt.

Willow shouted her own fear as she realized she couldn’t see anything. Something was blocking her vision, putting her hands against the wall she pushed and managed to phase back out of the building she’d been in the process of walking through during the big fight.

Larry glanced down in some confusion as he continued to dangle in Harris’ grasp. “Uh, Xand… Do you think you can let me down now?”

Xander stared up at the well muscled foot ball star and once again found himself unable to comprehend what was happening to him.

Jonathan summed up the entire situation quite nicely as he continued nibbling on the former plastic carrot he’d been carrying around all night. “Eh… What’s up, Doc?”

“I suddenly have a very bad feeling about this,” Xander said carefully lowering Larry back to his feet. “Uh… No hard feelings, Lar?”

Larry shook his head. “I have this strange feeling that I should pound you one, Harris, but at the same time I’m kind of leery about getting in a fight with you because I doubt strongly I’d come out on top. Now just what the hell happened here, and why are we fighting anyway?”

“Old cartoon company rivalries never die,” Jonathan spoke up with a shrug. “Come on. I think we should all just go home and get some sleep.”

“For once I agree with the nerd.” One of Larry’s jock pals turned and started walking home.

As everybody else slowly dispersed Cordelia approached Willow, Buffy and Xander with a look of utter disinterest. “Just so you know, I’m not giving any of you a ride. And you are so paying Harmony back for the damages to her car, Xander.”

“Ok, seriously, what just happened here?” Buffy questioned her friends. “And why do I suddenly own a futuristic rocket belt straight out of Hanna-Barbera?”

“We need to see Giles, right now!” Willow was practically white as a sheet as she continued to try and get her newfound phasing through walls ability in check.

Xander nodded and hefted his former prop club off the ground where he’d dropped it earlier. “I feel like the dude who’s just walked into the middle of a cartoon at the end of it. I also have this odd craving for Brontosaurus Ribs.”

“So, Giles… He’s probably home right?” Buffy frowned. “Does anyone actually know how we’re going to get there?”

Xander smirked. “What’s wrong with walking, Buff?”

“Xander, I don’t know what we’ve been doing the past two hours, but I so don’t think that’s funny.” Buffy shot her friend a glare and then realized she was still wearing a fully functional rocket belt. Despite the uncertainties involved a child-like gleam seemed to fill her eyes. “Race you!” her shout rang out accompanied by the sounds of the rocket belt as she dashed off with a holler of pure joy.

Xander’s feet started shuffling at an almost imperceptibly fast rate and he started running off after her. “Hey, no fair getting a head start like that!”

Frustrated at the total lack of concern for their strange transformations Willow nevertheless started hovering after them, skipping manically through stone walls and glass windows with ease as she started to giggle uncontrollably. Something told her that things were going to change quite drastically for the three of them, perhaps not all of it for the worse.

The End ?

Author's Note:
I've been working on this one for quite a while, my original intention was to end it a bit differently from how it turned out, but after a while here we are. I have this odd feeling like it might need more, or perhaps it could have a great sequel. Who can say.

Anyway, hope you enjoy. I've decided to post two stories today and this one is the light hearted fuzzy one to make amends for the dark and twisted shadowy one about to go up.

The End

You have reached the end of "Stone Age Xan". This story is complete.

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