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Harry Potter and the Cretaceous

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Summary: Harry should have realised how bad an idea it was the moment he thought of it. But what could be the harm in taking Luna and Hagrid to the movies?

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Harry Potter > Non-BtVS/AtS StoriesIgnotusFR1311,954041,30415 Jul 1215 Jul 12Yes
Notes: This is simply a weird little idea I had that wouldn't let go until I put it into something at least resembling a story. Hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is the property of the Rowling estate, I believe. I own nothing else in this story other than my mistakes. My apologies to Steven Spielberg.



     Harry regretted his decision the moment he saw the look on their faces afterwards. But he had moved on, thinking that they couldn’t possibly get into any sort of real trouble. He really should have known better considering their particular interests. Of course it had been their interests which made him approach them in the first place.

     When the two of them began to disappear off to who knows where doing gods knew what, he hadn’t noticed a thing because of his unhealthy obsession with stalking Draco. At least that’s the way Hermione had described it to him in the aftermath. Ah, but, he had shot back, the so called obsession hadn’t been in vain, had it? He decided not to dignify the unhealthy comment with a response. Something she had noted he ignored.

     The first time he had overheard a quintet of third years yammering on about something they had seen in the forbidden forest, he paid it no mind. After all, he had seen some pretty weird creatures in his six years at Hogwarts, why couldn’t there be something similar enough in appearance in the wizarding world? Lord knew he hadn’t encountered everything it had yet to offer. It couldn’t have been anything else, especially not something long dead and gone from the world.

     Rumours started popping up within the student body of more weird sightings at the forest’s edge — well, weirder than normal. This time the curious few who tried to get close heard strange noises. Otherworldly snorts and huffs, trills, coos, and unknown calls. The occasional high pitched shriek from deep within the forest would finally scare them away.

     Again Harry failed to see the connection.

     Taking Hagrid, with his penchant for dangerous, 'poor misunderstood' creatures, to see the film was a given, Harry had thought. Luna, on the other hand, hadn’t seemed the type to enjoy that sort of movie, but he thought he’d offer to take her as well considering her shared interest in animals. It didn’t hurt that she was very pretty and Harry had been hoping she’d clutch his arm in the theatre like he’d seen other girls doing.

     But she had been enraptured with the film. Even the more gruesome parts kept her interests since, as she explained, it was merely a predator acting as any predator would and should. Then she wondered if they could be trained to carry riders.

* * * * *

     Hermione watched from the window as Luna carried her large stack of books down the path to Hagrid’s hut. Frowning, she turned to Harry, who sat beside her, studying the Marauder’s Map instead of writing his essay. She poked his side.

     He slapped her hand away. “What?”

     “I'm just wondering why Luna has been spending so much time with Hagrid lately. I know you have something to do with it.”

     Harry finally looked up from the tattered bit of parchment. “I got hold of a portkey and took them to a muggle theatre to see a film last week during the Hogsmead trip. They started discussing stuff about animals and breeding when we got back to the Three Broomsticks. I guess they’re still at it.”

     Hermione would sometimes lose her temper or would become annoyed at the slightest provocation, but for the sake of her best friend, she had been trying to cut back on snapping at him. Yet he made it difficult sometimes when he’d barely give her or anyone else his attention. “You went to a muggle theatre, in the muggle world, and didn’t think to invite me? Your muggleborn best friend who might have needed a trip to the rational world for a bit?”

     His eyes widened. “I... didn’t think.”

     “Obviously.” Hermione went back to her essay, leaving Harry to stew in his uncomfortable realisation. She neglected to ask what film they saw. Had she done so, having heard the same rumours Harry had, she might have made the connection, no matter how impossible seeming.

* * * * *

     “Hey there, Harry.”

     Harry turned, still brushing the snow off his winter cloak. The entrance hall had a few stragglers who, like Harry, Hermione, and Ron, had been enjoying the bright winter’s day until the sun began to set. “Hey, Hagrid! Not staying for dinner?”

     Hagrid was dressed for the snow and carrying a tote of books and strange materials. “Nah, got too much ta do. Smart girl, that Luna. Showin’ me a few new things ter try when it comes to raisin’ young’uns.”

     “That’s great. How’s your project going?” he asked. “I know you two were talking about trying something with ostrich eggs but I couldn’t follow along.”

     Hagrid beamed. “Ah, it’s beautiful, Harry. Can’t wait ta show you and the others. Couldna get ostrich eggs though. Had to settle for enhancin’ some turkey eggs.”

     Harry nodded, as if he understood any of what they were doing or what any of it mattered. “Well, as long as it works.”

     “That it does. It’s gonna be grand, jus' you wait.”

* * * * *

     Spells flew in every direction. Harry’s constant surveillance of Draco had netted much more than he’d intended. After following him into the Room of Requirement and seeing what he was trying to accomplish, Harry had impulsively confronted him. Draco had run through the apparently completed two-way cabinet and returned with a horde of death eaters out to kill.

     Harry raised the alarm. With it being just afternoon, most of the teachers and student body were wandering the halls between classes, but many were already in the Great Hall for lunch. Most of the student body present had panicked and tried to run for places unknown. The teachers restored order and set plans in motion immediately. No one, not even Harry, noticed the lone blonde, who had been there moments before, missing from the Ravenclaw table.

     Harry organised members of the DA and set them to their tasks defending the castle and the students. Only then did Harry notice Luna’s absence, but assumed she was one of those caught out.

     The battle was enjoined in the Trophy Room at first. Death eaters trading spells with the professors and the students most able. Pinned down there, most of the death eaters in the rear retraced their steps and took another way.

     Chaos reigned in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The vast number of death eaters had finally pushed through the professors and students and made it to the Entrance Hall. Harry fought alongside Hermione, set between Professors McGonagall and Sinistra. The massive doors had broken near the start of the fighting in the hall. People raced in and out of the doorway, searching for cover or chasing foes.

     The fighters moved almost entirely outside. It finally happened that the defenders were pushed under cover by continued spell fire from the death eaters. The spell fire ceased suddenly and a voice called out, “Surrender, and our lord may prove merciful!”

     Other death eaters began to laugh.

     “I think you should leave now.”

     From their position behind a giant pile of scrap wood that had previously been one of the large doors, Harry and Hermione saw Luna standing in the centre of the open door, bathed in light of fires from the wrecked entrance hall behind her, seemingly unconcerned with the death eaters.

     “And what will you do if we don’t little girl?” one death eater asked.

     Luna shrugged. “Me? Nothing. However, my pets are a bit peckish.”

     A clicking and shuffling began to come from the forest off to the right. The death eaters trained their wands on the disturbances coming from the brush. Dozens of odd animal calls started coming from the edge of the forest.

     “Oh, I wouldn’t worry about the ones in front of you,” Luna called. “They prefer to attack from the side.”

     As the death eaters began firing into the forest, shapes came flitting out of the deep shadows on their flank. Many death eaters were killed immediately. Students, professors, and death eaters alike began running for the door of the castle.

     As Hermione dragged him from the scene, screaming for him to move, Harry could only think of one thing to say.

     “Damn it, I knew taking them to see Jurassic Park was a bad idea.”

* * * * *

     Luna had been very apologetic as they raced through the halls. She and Hagrid had been sure, she said, that they had trained the raptors to respond to their calls. But once the death eaters had been summarily eaten, the beasts had turned on the student population.

     Neither Harry nor Hermione could summon the breath to respond. Although, if Harry interpreted the glance Hermione sent him correctly, she blamed him for this entire mess. Harry chose to blame Steven Spielberg. Students ran every which way and all through the halls to escape the sneaky animals that started hunting and stalking them throughout the castle.

     Before getting separated from her and other members of the DA, Luna told them that it shouldn’t be too difficult to round up the animals. After all, she said, there were a dozen left since the death eaters had killed three.

     Hermione had smacked Harry on the back of the head after hearing that.

     They took a breather on the sixth floor, hoping that they had put enough distance between them and the animals to mount a defence. But then one had taken out Cormac McLaggen as he had been explaining to the group, in epic detail, how he had personally killed one of the creatures with a well placed piercing charm. Hardly had Luna begun to explain that their skin was too thick for a simple piercing charm to work when the velociraptor had popped out from behind a tapestry concealing a secret passage and bitten through McLaggen’s neck.

     Which led to Harry and Hermione’s current predicament evading the unholy creations of Hagrid and Luna.

* * * * *

     “What’s the raptor doing now?”

     “For the last time, it’s not a velociraptor. They had feathers and were about double the size of your average turkey. It’s not really any species, although it most closely resembles a featherless deinonychus, although grossly oversized. The filmmakers made some rather glaring mistakes...”

     “Hermione, focus.”

     She scowled but stopped her description. “Fine, as to your question, I’m... not really sure. It’s just pacing up and down the hallway.”

     “Why would—?” Harry froze. “Where are we?”

     “What? Harry we’re on the seventh floor. Now quiet before it hears us.” She pressed her eye against the crack in the door again. Harry leant over her, trying to pear through the crack as well, but he couldn’t get as good a view of the hall.

     He crouched down again and whispered right in ear, “Hermione, where exactly on the seventh floor are we?”

     She took her face away from the crack to glare at him. “You know where we are just as well as I do. The Room of Requirements is just out...” The colour drained from her face and she pushed her face up against the door once more. “Harry, it’s gone! The door’s appeared, it’s open and I can sort of see inside, but... it just looks like a regular classroom.”

     They heard a tapping coming from behind. Turning, they saw a door on the other side of the classroom that hadn’t been there when they originally entered. Harry could see the tapestry of the trolls through the open door.

     The tapping came again and they turned around fully. At the front of the room behind the lectern stood the velociraptor. Or the featherless, overly large deinonychus. Take your pick. Hermione held back a squeak and slowly reached for her wand.

     Harry eyed his Cretaceous foe with little fear, a thankfully already empty bladder, and a hint of respect.

     “Clever girl...”

The End

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