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Weddings, Phantoms, and Men in Tights

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This story is No. 2 in the series "The Strange Meeting Verse". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: 3 stories dealing with Clark and Buffy's Life Together following a Strange Meeting Place

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Smallville > Buffy-CenteredChunkmanFR18312,321083,40225 Jul 124 Aug 12Yes


Buffy sat in the Kent farm a nervous wreck. Clark was out there fighting some phantom which admittedly he said he fought some before but according to Lionel this was some sort of Super Phantom. Buffy wanted to help but a Martian of all things said she would be a weakness since the phantom can easily invade any human host. Then to top off the fun Chloe 'died' sort of. Buffy got a call from Clark and he asked her to watch Chloe at the hospital in case Lex pulls something. Naturally with their rotten luck Chloe flat lined and was taken to the morgue. Buffy sneaked in so Lex could not dismember her body. To her surprise Chloe's slab started shaking and Buffy pulled her out. Chloe got dressed and ordered Buffy to leave her alone. Buffy knows she would want to be alone after something like that so she let her be and went back to the farm. To her relief Clark came through that door and she ran right to him and leaped into his arms.

Clark easily caught her. "OK missed you too Buffy."

Clark puts her down but still has his arms wrapped around her.

Buffy just smiles in relief. "Tell me you kicked that phantom's butt, or used that crystal brought to you today by the letter S I'm not picky."

Clark just smiled. "I can safely say I got rid of that other me."

The two kiss and Buffy can instantly tell something's wrong. Clark was always gentle this guy's kiss was rough. Oh no that Phantom must have gotten inside Clark. Slaying her boyfriend definitely not something she wanted to do again after…Angel…and Spike. Buffy breaks the kiss and nudges Clark back a bit.

"Why don't you go take a shower? No offense but you're kind of ripe and I want to give the hero his special reward." She says in a sultry voice.

'Clark' blurs upstairs and Buffy instantly hears running water. She goes to the kitchen sink goes under it and pulls out a long lead box. Clark had Lionel sneak it off an abandoned project and give it to her if he ever went on a red K bender. Buffy opened the lead box she trusted Clark so much she never really asked what was in it. To her surprise something that would just scream her in the situation. A stake made entirely out of kryptonite.

Buffy just smiles lightly only Clark could think of this. "For the slayer who has everything" Buffy bends the box around making a makeshift lead case for the stake. She doesn't want the phantom knowing that she's packing until it was too late.

Buffy went up to Clark's room and whatever he was now is ready for her. Buffy straddled 'Clark' and started tying up his arms to the bed.

'Clark' smirked. "You do realize these won't really do anything."

Buffy kissed the side of his neck moving up nibbling on his ear and whispered. "Humor me."

'Clark' stuck his hand up and Buffy tied it to the other side. Seeing that she'll likely never get a better chance she pulls out her stake and shoves it into Clark's chest. The stake glows for a couple seconds before it turns clear.

The phantom just smiled and easily broke the ropes of course. "You know I gotta give you credit. Lois had traces and considering how far I went with Lana she definitely didn't figure it out."

Buffy's face paled unwanted visual. She swung but Bizarro caught her hand and threw her out the window inadvertently letting sunlight in and weakening him. Buffy landed in the real Clark's arms. Buffy didn't even say hello. "The phantom's in the…" They see Bizarro fly out over head. "Never mind"

Clark put Buffy down. "Are you OK?"

Buffy just nods. "I need a new stake. Don't woosh yet I need to know what he is."

Clark just shrugs he doesn't even fully know. "He's some sort of experiment he's like the direct opposite of me he's powered by kryptonite but sunlight weakens him."

Buffy grabs him before he takes off. "Once again no woosh we're fighting this guy together my enemies are your enemies and likewise for yours. Now come on we need to make a phone call."

Bizarro has knocked out Lex. He tried to be a hero and kept him from the kryptonite ugh. He hears a whoosh and Clark comes in and puts him in a full nelson. Bizarro was confused is he really doing this.

"This is your big gun Clark, a full nelson?"

Bizarro just laughs as Buffy comes in and throws a bag of glitter and crushed herbs over the two kryptonians dousing them both. Buff just pulls out her phone. "It's for you."

"Nisi vox of sol solis imbibo esculentus apricus letifico." Willow says over the phone.

Bizarro feels Clark's strength intensify while he feels immediately weaker. Clark holds on and Willow's solar spell makes a mini sun that crumbles Bizarro into green dust.

Buffy just smiles her job's done but she sees Clark is really upset. "Clark what is it?"

Clark just shrugged. "I just hate killing it never feels right."

Buffy just hugged him. "I forget how much of an optimist you are."

Clark just hugged her back. "I just felt bad for the thing. And that I helped do it to him."

Buffy shrugged. "I do too a little bit with what you told me. But he didn't have to stay in those bodies till they went bad he could have jumped from person to person. He didn't have to kill all those people once he got your body but he did. We stopped him and saved all his future victims. Besides you don't look down at me with all the things I've destroyed over the years."

Clark shook his head no. "You're a good person you know that. You saved the world god knows how many times."

"Then stop doubting yourself." Buffy ordered. "You just saved it today."

"I love you." Clark replied not sure where that came from but not caring.

Buffy eyes shot out. "What did you just say?"

"I love you." Clark repeated himself. "I don't know if I ever said it in heaven or Sunnydale or since you got here but I love you Buffy Summers."

Buffy smiled and practically pounced on him. "I love you too." The two share a deep kiss and Buffy drops down and starts pulling at Clark's arm.

"Where are we going?" Clark asked.

"My place" Buffy answered. "I need an able bodied kryptonian to rip all my clothes off."

Clark just follows her. "Work, work, work"

6 Months Later

Clark and Buffy are enjoying a little quiet time in bed wrapped in each other's arms. Both are living separate lives but they're still together. Clark is enjoying Journalism though he wonders how Chloe keeps her job at the Planet and does this and his favors. She got him a job there in the basement. Buffy made a call to Giles and using the New Council's pull they even got Lois a job there. Clark knows Lois earned it. He can't count how many times she had Lex in a vice grip but being the viper that he was slithered away untouched. He's just been getting worse since Lana dumped him and moved to Paris to start over after finding out she slept with a 'clone'. Buffy is getting new lessons in her weapons from the history they've been through. She loves her new life in Metropolis and she still works with the Scoobies on occasion. She's even talking to Willow over the phone today.

Clark looks at the time. "We overdid it again."

Buffy just shrugs as she breaks free to look at her clock. "Only by half an…4 hours."

Buffy just laughed. "So how is Kara adjusting to being an earth gal?"

Clark shrugged. "She's getting there. Think she's still mad at me for smashing her crystal though."

Buffy looked at him. "Clark you know what Zor El was capable of and whatever came out would not have been your mother. And Zor El would have been an encore of Zod and Dark Thursday."

Clark shrugged. "I know and thank you for stopping me from using it."

Buffy just nodded. "Stop your boyfriend, save the world its part of the gig."

At this the door opens and Xander walks in. "Greetings from merry old Scot…" He sees the two naked people and quickly covers his eyes. "Damn it Clark you should have let Caleb blind me."

Buffy eyes lit up in surprise. "Xander what the hell are you doing here?"

Xander turned around and spoke to the door. "Willow told you we were coming down today we have a problem."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "We got out signals mixed up I was expecting a phone call. So who's here?"

"Me, Will and Giles"

Buffy just put hands to her head. "Great the whole gang's all here. Go stall for time we'll be right down."

Buffy ran over but a blur whooshed past her and she was fully dressed. She turned around and saw Clark fully dressed straight down to jacket. How does he do that? She can focus on that later. Buffy runs some water through her face and Clark does the same. In moments they're ready to go back down. Clark and Buffy walk out of the bedroom and see Xander sitting down trying to stall Giles and Willow with a glowing smile.

Buffy comes down and instantly notices Willow. "What is she so happy about?"

The redhead instantly went for cover but Xander wouldn't have it. "Oh she has a date tonight."

Buffy just smiled happy for her friend. "Way to go Will. So who's the lucky girl?"

Willow smiled. "Her name is Maggie and she's a cop who pulled us over earlier. I thought she was cute so I asked her out."

"Oh I know her." Clark answered. "Don't tell her about your nightlife right away she might arrest you."

Giles was cleaning his glasses he loves seeing Buffy again but they're here on rather urgent business. "Can we focus as to why we're here please?"

Buffy nodded. "So what's up?"

Giles fixed his glasses and started explaining. "A slayer died last night. A mark was left on her shoulder far to big to be a vampire."

Buffy looked up this is the one thing she knows is part of the life but she hates it. "Who died?"

"Dana" Giles answered simply.

Buffy and Clark looked at him with faces of confusion. Buffy was the one to speak up. "Isn't that the slayer you sent me and Clark after in LA? And have a confrontation with Angel telling him we're not on the same side."

Giles nodded. "She disappeared from her room last night and reappeared this morning dead."

Buffy looked down she was the one that committed her to Belle Reeve in the first place. "You tried to warn me Clark. Guess I should have listened huh?" Buffy saw that Curtis Knox's work was actually helping people despite the man himself. She figured it was Dana's best shot to make a recovery.

Clark just looked at her with steel resolve. "This was not your fault OK." Clark said while looking through Dana's folder.

Buffy just smirked. "Then who's is it? Words are nice Clark but they're just…"

"Him" Clark said putting a picture of Dana's doctor down on the table he's seen him before. "Who is he?"

Willow looked at the picture. "Dr. Viktor Maddox he runs the place."

Ever since starting at Met U and the Planet Clark has been playing superhero. Buffy has even joined him on occasion with Oliver's leftovers while dressed in a red suit, yellow cloak, and mask. Oliver asked him to look into this guy before. Clark tracked him down to Fort Ryan but all he found was a bunch of dead bodies that all worked for Lex. Maddox moved the fights somewhere else. "I need to make a phone call."

Kara came into Buffy's penthouse her life sucks. Jimmy and her broke up a month ago because he still loved Chloe. Also Kara knows he was a bad guy but Buffy and Kal took away her chance to meet her father one last time and try to save him. She's putting it squarely on Buffy's shoulders. She walks right into the place.

"Kal do you even live in Smallville or do you just keep superspeeding to the planet and this place to scr..." Kara sees all the strangers. "I-I mean driving here and there and moving in here to save on much needed…gasoline because gas prices these days they're so lo…I mean high."

Buffy just smiled she's half tempted to see how long Kara will keep this going. "They know about Clark Kara."

"Not entirely" Giles pointed out seeing Buffy knows the truth along with this Kara girl.

Xander is looking at Kara she is beautiful. He and Anya didn't last. She became an accountant for Queen Industries after Sunnydale fell wanting to get out of apocalypses caused by being near slayers. Last Xander heard she was dating someone a guy called Victor he believes. Kara just looks over to Xander and is kind of thankful Kal taught her to control her heat vision once Buffy smacked him down for treating her like a child. Xander just smiled and turned to Buffy.

"So Buff care to make introductions" Xander asked.

Buffy smiled. "Willow, Giles, Xander meet Kara Kent, Kara meet Rupert Giles, Willow Rosenburg, and Alexander Harris."

Kara turned to Buffy looking sad. "Do I have to stay away from this Lex too?"

Buffy just smiled. "No, and he prefers Xander."

Xander just smiles. "I don't hurt people."

Kara just smirked. "I very much doubt you could hurt me. I'm Clark's cousin."

Xander's face instantly paled. Amanda told him about the battle on the seal and how when Clark couldn't vaporize vampires anymore by staring at them he settled for punching their heads off. What would Clark do if he finds out Xander digs his cousin?

Kara notices Xander's face. "Relax I'm tougher then my cousin. Do you want to get something to eat I'm starving?"

Xander smiled. "Maybe after we figure this out."

Clark came out after his phone call with Oliver. "Maddox runs a gladiator club. He opens his laptop and types in the URL Ollie gave him over the phone."

Clark opens the webpage and it leads to a show called fight or die. Maddox comes out and introduces Dana as 'Loopy Lana' Buffy wonders if she should pun but decides against it. Her opponent was a giant bald man named Titan. Dana fought bravely but Titan was a force of nature decimating her and killing with a bone spike.

"Kal pause the tape." Kara ordered.

Clark pause the tape and both kryptonians saw it. Buffy spoke up. "We don't speak your mute language what is it?"

Clark turned to her. "Titan is a phantom."

Xander looked at it nodded. "Oh good he's a phantom…what's a phantom."

"You know that place I locked Caleb in." Clark asked.

The scoobies nodded.

"This Titan got out of it." Clark answered. "I let him out."

"By accident" Buffy quickly pointed out to stop Willow. "You had to do it to save the world."

Clark shrugged. "Well I'll go follow Maddox he'll lead me to Titan."

Buffy quickly grabbed him and pulled him into the kitchen.

Clark broke her grip. "Buffy what are you doing?"

"I want you to let me and Kara go after this Titan." Buffy said.

"Why?" Clark asked.

Buffy collected herself and started. "Because me and Kara need quality death time together and you need to talk to my friends. They already know you're more than human and I know they can handle it."

Clark looks at her and sees what she is up to. "You don't want to lie to your friends anymore."

Buffy nods her head. "I hate covering up. But I love you and that's part of the Clark package like vampires are part of the Buffy package. But I know they can handle it please just think about it."

Clark just kisses her real quick. "You and Kara should go."

Buffy nods and grabs Kara and the two head out the door.

Clark walks in him and the three scoobies just stare at each other. Well at least the day won't be boring. Both didn't know how to get this part out and Giles just decided to be the one to start.

"Clark we've heard a good deal about you over the phone from Buffy."

"All good I hope." Clark replied.

Giles nodded. "Well yes" Giles takes off his glasses. "Not that I buy it."

Clark was startled. "Excuse me?" He thought he got this past this in Sunnydale.

"Buffy has had her experiences with farmboys in the past. The last one left her broken hearted."

Clark glared at him as he stood up. "Riley couldn't stand the fact that Buffy was stronger than him and wasn't close to him and instead of being there for her when she was ready. He turned to random vampires to give him suckjobs who could have killed him if not worse. I don't think it's fair to condemn me for what he did."

Giles stared back at him. "Very well Kal that was the name Kara used for you. It's also the name of a criminal who ran wild in Metropolis a few years back with powers similar to yours."

Clark put his hands up. "Not my proudest moment as I've told Buffy who told me she did something similar running to LA."

Xander and Willow can't believe this. Giles researched him. Buffy is going to slay him. Then maybe slay them for bringing him with them.

Clark just stared at him. At worse he figures he can ask J'onn to undo the damage. "And since I'm betting you already researched me lets try this. I'm not a human I'm an alien."

Xander and Willow's jaws drop respectively and Giles mouth even drops a little. Clark quickly realizes they didn't know that and covers his head in his hands. He's thankful Lex never got him as angry as Giles. Well now it's the moment of truth can they handle it or not.

Giles looked at Clark. The alien bit didn't matter to him he has 50 people in his cell phone and only 12 of them are human. What mattered to him was the answer to this next question. "Does Buffy know about you?"

Clark calmed down and sat back down. "Buffy's known about me for about a half hour after I met her."

Xander was just confused. "Why would you tell her so fast and hold out on the rest of us." He's geeking out he knows an alien.

Clark shrugged. "We were in heaven didn't think I had anything left to lose. Any other questions?"

"What do you run off of its magic but it's not." Willow asked.

Clark just smiles. "The sun gives me my powers it charges all the cells in my bodies."

Willow nearly choked the sun. Dear god save for a supernova he is going to be here for a really long time. Spike and Faith are right Buffy just doesn't do normal despite how much she tries.

Once they get past Giles Papa Wolf moment towards Clark they just talk like civilized people with very…different lives.

Kara and Buffy are coming back battered and beaten. Titan's dead but Buffy learned he could hit harder then Caleb could. Luckily Kara held her own maybe even better then Clark would have. Buffy guesses girls really do mature faster than boys like she teases Clark about. The two walk up and hear everyone laughing.

Buffy just pouted. "I wonder what they're so cheery about."

Kara used her ears to pick up the conversation she turns to Buffy and asked. "I thought your last name was Summers?"

Kara looks at the slayer and is thankful she is not Clark. Buffy looked like she might explode. Why is he telling them that story! Buffy barges in and nearly knocks the doors off their hinges. "Clark Joseph Kent, why are you telling them that story."

Clark just shrugged. "It's funny."

Willow to Buffy's surprise supported Clark. "It is kind of funny Buff. Clark working with Mecha Spike to stop a vampire Buff it's like opposite day…if there was such a thing as opposite day."

Buffy just gave a sickening sweet smile to Clark. Two can play this game. She turns to Kara. "You want to hear what Clark did last year on Valentine's day."

The images of him and Lois started playing. Clark just looked up at Buffy. "I'll stop if you will."


Buffy ordered four pizzas for dinner that night. One for her, one for Clark, one for Kara, and one for the scoobies so they could each eat their fill and catch up with Buffy and tell her how Dawn is doing abroad. Soon enough they start leaving Kara and Xander go to a movie. While Willow went on her date with Maggie and Giles explored Metropolis until they are ready to go. Clark and Buffy just watch the stars at night.

"So did you tell them?" Buffy asks.

Clark nodded. "Giles seemed to already have a pretty good idea of who I was. He looked me up."

Buffy shot up. "He what! Oh I am going to hurt him in so many different ways and on so many different levels."

Clark realizes he shouldn't have said that and is currently trying to get Buffy to drop the idea of hurting her watcher. "Buffy its fine besides this whole day was like getting to meet the family."

Buffy just leans into him it's a cold day and he's a living furnace. "Thanks for going easy on my family."

Clark just smiles. "No problem, it's the least I could do considering you have to talk to Lois on a daily basis, but if Xander hurts Kara don't be surprised if he accidentally gets hit with a wrecking ball at his next construction job."

Buffy just giggles at the image that has put in her head. "Remind me to bring you with me when I meet Dawn's Boyfriend."

Clark just smiles. "OK what's his name?"


Clark just thinks on it for a second. 'Nah couldn't be' he hopes not anyway.
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