Men in Tights
Buffy sat up in a cold sweat. She looks around and sees she's in a hospital gown in Scotland. She comes down stairs and sees Xander who smiles wide and runs up and hugs her.
"Guys she's awake."
At this Willow came running down the steps followed by Dawn. Buffy appreciates the gesture as all three smother her but she's still human. "Guys even slayers need to breath."
They let go and Buffy feels relief as air refills her lungs. For about 2 seconds and then Giles crushes her. "OK I missed you all but how did I end up here?"
"What's the last thing you remember?" Xander asked.
Buffy thought back. "I was attacked by Brainiac. He knocked me out."
Giles pulled off his glasses and cleaned them this wasn't going to be easy. "Brainiac as you call it did a lot more than attack you."
Buffy has a feeling she's not going to like this. "What did it do to me?"
Dawn spoke up. "It put you in a coma."
Buffy instantly felt everything tense up. "How long?"
"65 days 14 Hours 45 minutes" Willow answered. "But who's counting."
"And Clark?" Buffy had to ask he would have been here. In fact they'd probably have to throw him out.
Dawn just shrugged. "We called when you started improving but we didn't get an answer."
Buffy just turned to Willow. "Can you teleport me to Smallville?"
Xander just looked at her. "Buff"
Buffy just put her hands up. "No, knowing Clark he did something foolish to bring me back and is now paying for it and besides I feel like a million bucks. Willow please."
Willow just relented and half an hour later she was in Clark's loft. She sees Jimmy Olsen up high. Buffy climbs up the loft. "Jimmy what are you doing here?"
Jimmy was nervous but answered. "Buffy you're back done spending time with your family."
Buffy nodded. "So where's Clark?"
Jimmy was nervous she saw Buffy slap around Clark a couple times and he was a giant compared to him he really hopes she doesn't believe in killing the messenger. "I-it was all my fault. Buffy I really screwed up."
Buffy just put her hands on his shoulders trying to get him to calm down. "Jimmy calm down OK. Now start from the beginning."
Jimmy just nodded. "Clark was getting ready to go to Scotland my guess is he was going to see you. But I needed his help because Chloe got arrested."
Buffy's eyes shot up. "How did Chloe get arrested?"
"Her habitual hacking caught Uncle Sam's eye, so I-I kind of went to Lex for help, and now he's holding it over my head."
Buffy pushed him into the wall hard and held him up by his shirt. "You went to Lex Luthor for help what the hell is wrong with you?"
"Look, I told him to get another lapdog. Then he just…he put her back on their most wanted list." Jimmy sighs. "She went from life support to life without parole in less than a day."
Buffy just looked at him. "That's what happens when you make a deal with the devil. Where's Lex now?"
Jimmy shrugged. "Look, I don't know. I tried to get in contact with him, but he's off jet-setting around the Arctic Circle. And I know it's not drilling oil, 'cause he's gone way out of his way to cover his tracks in the snow. I told Clark all this 2 hours ago and I haven't seen him since."
Buffy has a sinking feeling in her gut that Lex is going for the fortress. "Go home Jimmy I'll take it from here."
"But I want to help." Jimmy objected.
Buffy just glared at him. "You've done enough."
When Jimmy leaves Buffy grabs a book from the loft and finds no key. Clark is at the fortress. Buffy hops in his truck and takes off. The drive to the cave was far beyond reckless even by Buffy's standard that was bad driving. She ran into the cave and went into the alter and saw the key. She pulled it out and pushed it back in. Nothing, she tried it 5 more times but the result was always the same, the portal was dead. Luckily for her Clark had a plan for something like this.
She made a quick stop at the Kent farm for Clark's journal and his laptop so she can catch up on what she missed for the last two months. She drove to Metropolis trying to get in touch with Kara on her phone but there's no answer what the hell happened these last two months. She made it to the place Clark told her to go if he and Chloe ever went missing at the same time. She went up the elevator and went to the computer. She went onto the website Clark told her to go to Artemis Global consortium and types up the email.
'Boyscout and Watchtower MIA'
Buffy sat down and went to work on Clark's lap top ordinarily using you own name as a password would be lazy. Using you alien name however is pretty funny since that's what they'll likely be looking for. Buffy went to work and caught up on the last two months. Apparently they haven't been kind to Clark. Lionel Luthor was killed by Lex. Buffy wonders how someone with a soul could kill their own father. All because of something he found out by torturing a Patricia Swann to death and taking a necklace off her. Veritas used to oh god no. Buffy just reads the next part control an alien. If Lex cracked the Veritas code he has a Clark-bot on his side, not good.
Buffy laid on the couch there's nothing in Clark's journal or lap top about Kara and Buffy was so obsessed with Clark she never got to ask Xander about Kara. She found it funny that Xander is with an invulnerable alien. At least she could keep him out of trouble. Buffy's eyes glazed over and as much as she hates it she went to sleep.
Buffy was woken up by the sound of a helicopter dangerously close to the place she's in. She gets up and looks around. Being the slayer she has better hearing than others and knows she's not alone in here. Buffy looks around and sees a man in Green leather. Great, just what she needs right now the Lucky Charms Bandit. Buffy sneaks up behind him and kicks him in the back of the head knocking him out.
"You better not be old man Jenkins." Buffy quipped as she removed the hood and glasses. "Oliver Queen"
Buffy stood there arms across her chest waiting for the billionaire to regain consciousness. Oliver started coming to and clearing the cob webs in his head realizing he's tied up. He feels like he just got hit by a truck. He looks over and sees a petite blond has commandeered his longbow. When he tells Clark this story he's going to leave this part out.
"Where's Clark Kent?" The two ask in unison.
Buffy just looks confused. Until a blue beam of energy punches through the window revealing the helicopter she was hearing. Buffy ducks under the table and takes an arrow from Oliver's quiver and aims at the helicopter.
Oliver's eyes nearly shoot out. "Oh not that one."
Buffy shoots at the helicopter to scare off his friends, the arrow impacted on the helicopter and a something like a forcefield surrounded the helicopter and it started going down.
Oliver just glared at the girl. "You shot down my helicopter with my own damn arrow."
"I didn't mean to, and shut up." Buffy replied while going to the window and looking out. She breathed a sigh of relief that no one was hurt. "What the hell was in that arrow?"
"Electro Magnetic Pulse" Oliver answered.
Buffy just saw one girl and three guys exit and start coming up the elevator. She knew she should have called in some slayers. The elevator opened and she saw a blond woman with short hair in fishnets and a painted on mask. Along with a blonde guy in green and orange, next to him was another guy in silver blue and black, followed by a younger person in red and yellow…whom is currently dating her sister.
Buffy rolled her eyes. "Bart what the hell is this?"
Impulse hesitated but decided to try to keep in character. "Who's Bart?"
Buffy glared at him not in the mood for this. "Shrimp I can smell that elephant husk that you call cologne from here."
Bart takes off his glasses and hood. "We really suck at this secret identity thing. It's good to see you on your feet Buffster you had Dawn terrified."
Buffy nodded. "I just wish I had a happier wake up." She and Clark should be having one of those deep passionate moments from movies she shouldn't have to be looking for him right now. She turned to Oliver "By the way what the hell is all this rich leather daddy."
Oliver frowned as he ran through his group, who they are and what they do. Buffy listens almost having a hard time believing this. She just turns to Bart and looks at him with the eyes of a slayer.
Bart is almost sweating. "What?"
Buffy just stared at him. "Dawn said you were a courier."
"I am a courier" Bart defended himself. "I'm just the fastest courier alive. Dawn knows already anyway."
Buffy's eyes shot out kill Dawn later find Clark now. "As much fun as this is why did Clark leave instructions for me to hail leather queen and the men in tights?"
All the leaguers shot Buffy a look of disbelief. Oliver was the one that spoke up. "Wait Clark was the one that told you to call us?"
Buffy nods. "Who were you expecting?"
Oliver shrugged. "Honestly I always expected it would be Lois. How do you know Clark anyway?"
Buffy just stares at him. "We've been dating for a year and a half."
Bart just smiled. Super powered guys always get the hottest girls. "You and stretch, man I gotta give him some mad props I didn't think my amigo had it in him."
Oliver turned to Buffy. "Do you know where to look?"
Buffy nods. "I have a pretty good idea."
4 Weeks Later
They went to the fortress or at least the glop of snow that was the fortress and nothing was there. They smacked around some guards but couldn't find anything. No Clark no Lex not even a single crystal so where was Clark during all this. He was locked away as forced labor after barely escaping the crumbling fortress. Clark made numerous attempts to escape but each one ended in complete and utter failure. His latest it seems had finally pushed his 'boss' over the edge. As he was set to chop him into pieces.
However before they could cut his throat. Someone was approaching the dock. The boss of the operation was shocked as it looked like the first time ever Clark had fear in his eyes after almost a month from this dark haired man walking in the sun. Milton Fine had found him. This time however he does not have his powers what the hell is he going to do? He watched as Fine and the boss got into a conversation. He didn't understand a word of it but at the end the boss said. "We'll throw him in for free."
Fine grabbed Clark by the scruff of the neck and marched him forward. "Keep moving"
Clark just looked behind Fine once they were out of eyesight. "So what exactly did you tell him anyway?"
"That I needed caviar and a new boy toy." A familiar female voice quips.
Clark turns around and sees Faith. He puts two and two together and quickly realizes that Fine is. "Spike"
Spike just smirked. "Bottle of hair dye $50 dollars" He shows him a ring. "The Gem of Amara from the Cleveland hellmouth dusting 6 Lestat want to bes. The look of terror on your face when you saw me bloody priceless. Come on stop sign I think you've been keeping a certain woman waiting far too long."
Clark, Faith, and Spike rapidly board the plane and they take off. Buffy pounces on Clark like she usually does when he fights something dangerous. However this time Clark nearly falls back and she notices it. "Clark are you OK?"
Clark just nods because this is OK for him now. "When Jor El said he had a way of controlling me he meant."
Buffy catches on. "He took away your powers."
Oliver chimes in. "Guess it beats Lex having control of a Clark bot."
Buffy puts her hands up. Working with Oliver this past has been well…a pain in the ass. "Please don't say bot after a person's name."
Oliver shrugs. "Whatever way you want it Speedy."
Clark just turns to Buffy. "Didn't let you choose your codename huh?"
Buffy shakes her head no. "I caught Bart and Dawn in a compromising situation I was so angry I actually caught him."
Clark panicked as he realized something. Someone's missing. "Where's Chloe?"
Oliver just looked at him. "I had an army of lawyers on it but whoever took Chloe sure wasn't homeland security."
Clark just looks at him. "Then there has to be something we missed."
Buffy just grabbed his shoulder for support she knows Chloe is his best friend and how much she means to him. "We called everyone even Angel. If the most evil lawyers on earth can't find her."
Clark had a thought. "What about Lex?"
Faith just looked at him. "I doubt cue ball could do anything under all that ice."
Clark just looked at her. "I survived without my powers. I'm sure Lex did too."
Buffy turned to Oliver. "Did you and your merry men in tights shut down all those 333 places?"
Oliver just glared at her. First Lana and now this Buffy. Clark has the strangest taste in women hands down. "33.1 and we got all of them except for the ridge facility in Montana."
"OK then let's go." Clark said.
Buffy just looked at him. "Clark this can be dangerous for you."
Clark just looked at her. "So was going after Titan and Bizarro you still went."
Buffy just stares at him. "I said all I'll say just try to stay alive I just got you back."
Clark just silently nods as a picture comes up on the TV screen. It's Willow and Xander.
Willow just smiles. "Hey you guys finally found Clark."
Xander runs up to the screen and nearly bulldozes Willow out of the way. "Clark tell me that you have seen Kara or at least know what happened to her."
Clark frowned. "I know where she is but I can't ever get to her."
Xander is horrified where is she then? "Clark we might have ways that you don't just tell us where she is."
Clark just looked right at the screen. "Brainiac locked her in the phantom zone it's the only place I can think of that's worse then death."
Willow looked at him. "Is that the place you sent Caleb to?"
Clark silently nods and Willow teleports off screen and into the plane causing everyone to jump in surprise especially Oliver.
"Jesus Red give a bloke a heart attack…If his heart still beated," Spike finished.
Clark juts turned to Willow. "You really think you can bring Kara back?"
Willow nodded without doubt. "I just need some of your blood and some of Dawnie's it's a whole blood thing."
Clark nodded and put his hand out. Willow looked at him with a you have to be kidding me look.
"It will work now." Clark assures her.
Willow cuts and sure enough drew blood fast. "Going to have to explain that one later. I'll see you soon Buff hopefully with Kara."
Buffy watches Willow leave and she's focused on Montana. They're all going so hopefully they can get Chloe and get out real quick.
At the facility everyone went their own way Clark ran into someone he never expected to see. Lois with a bunch of guards.
Lois is playing her part. "I can't believe this. One alarm-clock malfunction, and suddenly you're demoted and shipped to Deliverance territory." Lois sighs seeing Clark she doesn't need this right now. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"You know him?" The one of the guards asked.
"Yeah, No." Lois and Clark say simultaneously.
Lois just glared at him. "He wishes he didn't know me. I thought I dropped you off at your cell."
"We'll take him back." Another guard offered
Lois glared at the guards. "And send me to the Sahara? One demotion this week is enough."
"We'll handle it." The guard said.
Lois wasted no time and assaulted the guards and Clark joined in knocking some senseless himself with punches kicks and throws.
Lois looked at Clark she was not attracted by that. "What are you doing here? And where did you learn to throw people around like that."
"I heard they had good espresso." Clark quipped. "And Buffy's a black belt." She taught him some things on the flight and thankfully Clark still has his memory at least.
Lois smirked so that's how she keeps Smallville in line. "You disappear for a month and come back with a sense of humor?"
"I've been tracking Chloe down since Buffy woke up. The question is how did you get here?" Clark asked.
"Feminine charm" Lois answers as Clark scoffs. "Yes, I do have some."
"Great job protecting your short supply of it." Clark deadpanned.
Lois counted to 10 in her head. "Why don't you give your stand-up a rest and do exactly what I tell you? That way, we can find Chloe and stay alive at the same time."
Clark and Lois make it to where Chloe is held. The guard in the room knocks out Lois but Clark quickly knocks him out. He rescues Chloe and the two have a talk about being mortal and Chloe agrees to stay with Lois while Clark goes to look for the others.
Buffy enters a room and sees Aquaman, and Black Canary tied up. "Well done guys you found Chloe. Are Impulse, Cyborg, and Oracle here too?"
AC just looked at her confused. "No and why would Oracle leave HQ."
Buffy just shrugged. "I just had to make sure since its Tuesday."
AC and Dinah nod in understanding which actually means Dawn got kidnapped before. Buffy rolls her eyes at that and goes to break their chains when a green syringe is shot into her arm.
Lex's man smiled. "Do whatever it takes to find out what happened to Lex Luthor."
Clark went down the hall and saw Buffy at the bottom of the stairs. "Buffy I found Chloe."
Buffy went up stairs and cupped Clark's face in the palm of her hand. She quickly smashed the side of Clark's head into the glass window and he stumbled to the floor. "Where's Lex?"
"I have no idea." Clark answered.
Buffy just grabbed him and threw him down the stairs. "I'll do whatever it takes to find Lex."
Clark just tried to get up and see her through the now pouring blood. "Buffy you hate Lex."
Buffy comes down pulling out a stake. "Start talking, or the biography of Clark Kent comes to a sudden, tragic end!"
Clark just looked at her from the floor. "I don't know."
Buffy had the stake in the air as Faith came through the door finding nothing and saw the sight. "B, no"
Buffy plunged the stake right into Clark no different than a vampire. Faith grabbed Buffy and threw her hard into a wall. A green light shimmers in Buffy's eyes as she regains control. What the hell did she do? Oh no…Oh god no!
Buffy ran over to Faith who was trying to keep pressure on Clark's wound. Faith put her hands up.
"It's me Faith I saw what I was doing but I couldn't stop myself."
Buffy cradled Clark in her arms. "Clark, come on!" Buffy looked at him tears in her eyes as her voice broke. "I'm so sorry. I... Clark, please. Clark, can you hear me? Clark please don't go not now."
Chloe came out of the room leaving Lois with Spike. "Oh, no!"
Buffy was trying to keep him here. "Clark!"
Chloe moved Buffy aside. "I can save him."
Buffy just looked at what she's done. "I couldn't stop myself."
"Buffy, move back. I can save him." Chloe assured her as Buffy handed Clark over to her.
Clark speaks weakly. "No…Chloe."
"It's gonna be okay." Chloe assured him.
Clark tried to keep her back. "No. No, don't heal me."
Chloe's face went to horror it wasn't working. "It's not working. Clark?"
Clark saw the white lights it's where he first met Buffy but he doesn't want to go now. There is still so much he wants to do. He sees glimpses of his life his parents Lana and the last time he was in that place with Buffy. He focuses his vision and sees his cousin looking down at him.
"I'm here Kal." Kara swept him up in her arms and she flies out the window for the sun with Clark in tow so his body heals and his powers return. She flies back to earth with Clark as healthy as the day he was born. Buffy just hugged Clark with all she had. Followed by Chloe. Spike and Lois came out as they landed which meant they had a lot of explaining to do.
Back at the Kent Barn the scoobies and the league joined for one big dinner celebration since everyone was finally back where they belonged. Lois was getting everything she could on everyone stuttering a bit at Clark or Kal El as he's also called. She looked at Ollie and realized how much she missed him. Maybe they could have a second chance.
Clark looked over to Bart and Dawn. "Still can't believe it's the two of you."
Bart just smiled. "Hey stretch I had to find someone at some point."
"And what's wrong with me." Dawn pointed at him feeling insulted.
Clark just looked at the two and smiled adding on. "It's just how do you two find time to be together between all the kidnappings."
Dawn glared at him. "We don't get kidnapped that much."
Victor smiled. "They're right Kent it's mostly Dawn on Tuesdays and Bart on Thursdays."
Bart glared at him. "Very funny Tin man keep it up and we'll have Anya here to charge Stretch for the rescue that will be graceful."
Xander just stared at Victor and put a hand at his neck. "Ye high, rapidly changing hair color, loves money."
Victor nods. "That would be her."
Xander smiled happy Anya found someone. "Don't ever let her go."
Victor nodded. "I have no plan to Xander."
Xander just stares a hole through Dawn.
Dawn just smiles. "Hey you're both with different people and you're both happy. I didn't see any reason to bring it up."
Buffy just looks around the table. The people that are here are her family. This was the longest month in a long time. But they stood by her and not one of them gave up on finding Clark and Chloe. She was a little bit surprised to see Spike kissing Faith but fighting together on a hellmouth that was bound to happen. She sees Willow and Chloe having a laugh and a couple thoughts go through her head that maybe there is something there since Chloe dumped Jimmy for going to Lex behind her back. No shocker there the guy killed his father why would he protect Chloe. She sees Xander and Kara laughing and catching up. Apparently Kara is leaving tomorrow to search the earth looking for something called Kandor and Xander is going with her. She sees Lois and Oliver making jokes about each other and laughing back at good times. She sees Giles being the older patriarch just enjoying the scene. She sees Dawn with Bart. She wasn't a fan of Bart even less when she found out about his past but it became clear that Bart really cares for and loves Dawn. She's happy her sister has found someone who makes her happy and can get help at the speed of light if she's in trouble. That leaves Clark. Wait, where the hell is Clark? He must have blurred to the loft while no one was looking.
Buffy entered the loft and saw Clark looking out to the sky. "You know if I wanted to stay with a brooding immortal I would have just stayed with Angel."
Clark just smiled. "I was just thinking."
"About what?" Buffy asked.
Clark wasn't sure how to say so he just went into a ramble. "You think you're immortal it only takes a second to find out you're not. When I was dying there were so many thoughts going through my head. Most of them were the things I regretted not doing and not having the time to do them."
"Like what?" Buffy asked.
"Certain things." Clark answered.
Buffy looked at him. "Not really a fan of the vague."
"I was going to wait until everyone left to do this. But since they're all eating I think we're safe." Clark pulled out a bracelet with a green stone in the middle of Kayla's bracelet. Contrary to popular belief only in a way it was meant for his soul mate according to Kara it's a kryptonian engagement ring basically.
Clark got down on one knee and looked at Buffy in her eyes. "Buffy I liked you the moment I saw you. You were always so brave and you put aside your happiness for the sake of others so many times you might have me beat. I saw you courage and your strength. I love you Buffy Anne Summers and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"
Buffy had been left speechless. This was a rare moment if there ever was one. She absolutely loves Clark and always will. She realizes this is why she never gave up and how she was so fast to her feet in finding him she wanted this moment. "Yes Clark I will."
Clark wrapped Buffy in his arms and gave her a spin in happiness until they heard a female kryptonian shout "YES" from outside.
Buffy just smirked. "Forgot about Kara's hearing didn't you."
Clark put her down and shrugged his shoulders. "A little bit yeah."
Buffy looked down at the bracelet it's beautiful but much like a lot of things in Clark's life it's going to bring up questions. "Clark…I want to show people I'm engaged and I love this but…"
Clark caught on. He loves how Buffy protects his secret. "I didn't want to wait. I was planning on taking you out for breakfast and ring shopping tomorrow or I can make you one if you'd like."
Buffy smiled. "I'll take a custom made one. Really get to show it off."
Clark wrapped his arms around her. "Done and done. So Kara just got done telling everyone are you ready to face the music?"
Buffy just smiles and nods leading Clark out the door. He's back her family is in good hands and growing and soon she'll be starting a family of her own marrying the man she loves. They found each other on Earth and started a life together. They'll be ready for whatever the future might bring down on them.