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The Buffy And The Hat

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Summary: What Reincarnated Buffy/Harry did at the Sorting ceremony.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Harry Potter > Buffy-CenteredReallyBoredFR1321,5670175,67727 Jul 1228 Aug 12Yes

The Devil Child

DISCLAIMER: I own NOTHING HERE! NOTHING! J. K. Rowlings created and owns Harry Potter along with all associated characters, settings, and materials. Joss Whedon and his group created and own Buffy The Vampire Slayer, as well as anything and everything connected to it. I OWN NOTHING HERE! IF YOU RECOGNIZE IT, IT'S NOT MINE!



Okay . . .Once again a nasty little story popped into my head. I've resigned myself to the notion that as long as I'm going to be working on Recycle, Please! these weird little ideas are going to be showing up. Essentially, they're distractions, and I figure the best way to deal with them is to write them down and publish them.

Not that I'll be writing them in any particular sequence, or for that matter, too many of them--They're just bits and pieces of possibilities, 'road not taken' sort of thing.

So, here it is; thanks for reading it.





Dumbledore makes an unsettling discovery.





The Devil Child



He was evil. Forget Dark, the boy was E V I L.

Dumbledore sat slumped in his chair, in numb silence as a foaming at the mouth Molly Weasley raged on the other side of his desk.


Perhaps he should have been paying closer attention to Molly--"SCREECH!"--Or, perhaps paying less, Dumbledore winced. Regardless, the red headed woman's tantrum was almost negligible in the face of the problems with the Boy.

Oh, true, the problem with the Hat had been bad enough, a harbinger for certain, the Headmaster reflected. However, Harry did seem to settle down after he was allowed to choose his own house. The Hat adamantly refusing to sit on the boy's head--Or for that matter, stay in the same room as him. He recalled an all too happy Harry skip over to the House of the Badger, and take his seat, while his pale, anxious house mates cringed away from the sadistic little pyromaniac.

Then came Halloween.

A troll rampaging within the ancient halls of Hogwarts--And a young damsel in distress to rescue. For Dumbledore the event seemed like a perfect opportunity to test the mettle of a young hero.

Ah, and in true, heroic Gryffindor fashion the boy performed brilliantly! Fearlessly subduing the troll and thus saving young Miss Granger!

However . . .

A hog-tied troll on the floor of a girls bathroom was one thing; but a hog-tied troll on the floor of a girls bathroom with Ronald Weasley's frantically kicking legs protruding out of it's rear end? That scene had been completely unexpected. Worse and worse, was the look of blissful pleasure on the troll ugly countenance. That image had been sincerely . . .disturbing. Once pulled out of the troll's backside, the Bubblehead charm covering the boy's head deflated and dispelled, depositing the filth, covering the air bubble, directly onto the howling boy's head and face. The only silver lining to the event was that all the choking, gagging, and vomiting the boy ended up doing stopped the exceedingly loud noise coming from his mouth for a while--Molly Weasley's offspring, indeed.

Hours after the 'incident', in spite of the vial of calming potion forcefully poured down the unfortunate boy's throat, young Mr. Weasley continued to wail and cry for his mother. Smirking and refusing to apologize to Ron Weasley for what he had done to him, Harry explained how it was Mr. Weasley's fault Miss Granger ended up in the bathroom, and how he needed a lesson after nearly getting the poor girl killed.

Molly Weasley's unexpected arrival touched off a relatively minor confrontation between the Boy-Who-Lived and the red headed Woman-With-The-Painfully-Loud-Shrill-Voice. Minerva was still making repairs to the room where it took place.

"SCREECH!" Dumbledore winced again. The Headmaster silently admitted feeling apprehensive about his plans, as the Boy seemed to have taken a general dislike to the two Weasleys prominently featured in them. Maybe Ginny Weasley would prove a better match?

"SCREECH!--how dare!--SCREECH! SCREECH!--never in my life!--SCREECH!"

Albus Dumbledore cringed. Yes, the Boy was truly evil.






Yeah, I know, I know . . .Molly Weasley is suppose to be some type of 'Motherly' figure. But honestly, the woman is a monster! Sure, having to deal with, and clean up after, seven interesting and imaginative kids can cause almost any woman to become a loud, shrill harpy. Then again, it isn't just the mouth, if you follow the book series, there are all sort of troubling hints about the woman's darker personality.

And, yes, Dumbledore absolutely deserves every second of her company and mouth!

As for Harry's treatment of Ron--Remember, the original set up by the Weasleys, at the station and the train, was possible only because Cannon Harry was an ignorant, naïve and desperate eleven-year-old child. Reincarnated Buffy/Harry is going to be looking at Ron and the Weasleys through the memories and harsh experiences of a twenty-one year old Slayer and woman. So, no friendships there; but there is a possibility of a relationship with Hermione. Obnoxious and rude personality aside, Hermione's thirst for knowledge, and her willingness to work hard, and her dedicated solid loyalty to her friends is bound to cause Harry to take notice of her, and to make comparisons to Willow.

Hence, Ron's verbal assault on the girl, and making her cry, was not going to go unpunished.

So, I end this little bit, and hope it hasn't been a complete waste of your reading time.

Thanks, and Bye!

The End

You have reached the end of "The Buffy And The Hat". This story is complete.

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