Andrew and the Drastic Crisis
Disclaimer: If you think I own any of the characters from either of these series, then I have a bridge in Brooklyn you might want to buy. I own neither Buffy (and its sequelae) nor Stargate (in any of its variations).
Spoilers: Lots. Assume three years post BtVS season 7, and post SG season 10.
AU details:  the Scooby world is completely under the radar, with the gigantic Los Angeles disasters of the latter seasons of Angel being nipped in the bud so they didn’t happen;  all of Buffy happened, except the comic books Buffy Season 8 etc.;  with Gou’a’uld and Tok’ra still running loose, Anise is alive;  Jacob Carter didn’t die.
Relevant backstory points from “Xander and Yet ANOTHER Demon”: After Sunnydale collapsed, Willow repaired Xander’s eye.
A/N: This will be scenes that run concurrently with the story "Xander and Yet ANOTHER Demon". If you haven't read that, many segments of this story may make no sense. Or a strange sense that I never intended. So read the other story first. It's complete. ALSO, there's a completely awesome image for the other story, thanks to the mighty Methos.
Andrew Wells, Master Mage, the Summoner Supreme, Honorary Admiral of the Rebel Alliance Mauve Squadron (Mideastern U.S. division), was a man of action. A man of resources. A man of authority.
He was also a man who knew he had better not get his girlfriend Emily mad at him, or he was going to be sleeping on the couch. And since his girlfriend was a Vampire Slayer, one of the Chosen, one of the most important weapons of The Powers That Be… and also a girl who could toss their living room couch from their balcony up onto their roof, he knew he didn’t want to push his luck and end up sleeping on a couch… on the roof… in the rain. The rain in Cleveland could be really, really cold. And he’d ended up having to buy a new couch when it happened the time before, because they were never able to get it fully dried and restored, even with a couple spells. Especially with a couple spells.
Note to self: do not encourage the introductory magic class try to clean and restore your couch ever again, unless you want couch cushions that have been set on fire and burned to a cinder.
Plus, the maintenance people at his condominium had never looked at him the same way, ever since he had to ask for help getting his sopping wet couch off the roof and couldn’t explain how it got up there in the first place. Maybe he shouldn't have said it was a Sith lord.
He wasn’t allowed to get all nervous when one of the Scoobies was in trouble. Emily said that he didn’t look mature and in charge when one of his friends was in trouble and he started running around calling on the phone for help. So he had to stand there and pretend he was fine. Even if Xander had just signaled a Code Red and was about to interrogate a demon some more and then have a fight to the death with no backup!
Okay, it wasn’t the first time Xander had done something like that. Xander seemed to find Code Reds everywhere he went. Xander’s first year in Africa, he had logged nine Code Reds, all of them valid, and he had stopped all of them, either on his own or with whichever Slayers he had on hand.
Andrew still had on his wall an email, in a simple walnut frame, that had Xander’s first memo after his first Code Red.Attention everybody – and this means you too, Buff and Faith:
Andrew’s Code Red stuff just saved my bacon. I want everyone using it. Even Will and Ken Doll. Even if you don’t memorize all the texting codes, use this. And Andrew? Good one.
Andrew knew he was going to have to take it down before too long, because people made fun of him for wanting to keep that memo. But he was just going to move it into the office in his and Emily’s condo. Maybe it was just him, but being accepted by the Scoobies – really accepted as a valuable contributor – meant a lot more to him than a lot of other stuff on his walls. He didn’t care about his college diploma. What good did that do him? But an ‘attaboy’ from The One Who Sees? That was worth more to him than… than… a genuine Star Wars Boba Fett action figure. In mint condition.
Note to self: make sure not to call Xander ‘The One Who Sees’ in his presence or where it would get back to him, because Xander tended to wreak vengeance like an angry Anakin Skywalker over stuff like that. Only without the lightsaber and the force pulls.
Andrew stood firmly in his best ‘Horatio Hornblower on deck’ pose and said, “Rona, I need you to check and see if we have anyone within six hours of his position. We can always fly someone in, if he needs support. But magical transport is out. Willow isn’t prepared, and we can’t ask her to do the black magic apparation spell.”
Rona said, “She hates it when you call it ‘apparation’.” But she got busy on the computer, checking positions.
Emily asked, “What do you want us to do?” She gave him a look, urging him to get on with it.
Andrew reached over her shoulder and flipped a switch so Xander’s voice was no longer on the loudspeaker. He said, “You and Rona switch off monitoring his phone. Make sure we’ve got full coverage being recorded.”
He pointed, “Trish. Get that demon photo off to HQ and tell ‘em it’s for Xander. That’ll get them moving faster on demon identification than telling them you want an A priority on it.” He looked at the clocks all along the upper tier of the wall before him, and noted the one that showed London time. “They’re still on night staff over there, but they can get started so their day team can ID our demon faster.”
He pointed again. “Kristal. Go through all the recorded material we already have. Forward it to HQ, our researchers, and Willow’s team. You’re going to have Command and Control on this. Keep tabs on everything that comes back, and collate it for me.”
He looked around the room. “Everyone else? Stay on alert. We have four strike teams in the field and somewhere around seventy Slayer patrols to monitor at some point tonight. No matter how much we like Xander, we can’t let anything else slip through the cracks. So no listening in on Xander’s phone. Focus on your tasks. If there’s anything important, Rona or Em will let you know. Meanwhile, I have to make some phone calls.”
He walked carefully to his office, instead of running like he wanted to. He closed his office door and carefully cast a sound-blocking spell – he liked calling it a Silencio
but everyone made fun of him for it. Okay, so he and Emily went to the last Halloween party as Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger. That was nothing! Xander showed up as Snake Plisken! Okay, that was really awesome. Xander made a great Snake Plisken.
Then he tried not to have a nervous breakdown. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!”
Once he felt more in control of himself, he sat down at his desk and did what was making him want to have a nervous breakdown. He had a specific list of actions he was required to perform whenever Xander called in a Code Orange or a Code Red. It was the first thing on the list that was making him feel like he needed some adult diapers.
He had to call Faith and tell her Xander was in trouble again.
Normally for a Code Red, he’d first be alerting HQ ‘across the pond’ or making contact with Willow and her team down in South America. But Faith had made it painfully clear that if he didn’t call her first every time Xander signaled a Code Red or Code Orange in, he was going to regret it. She wasn’t a complete maniac like she said she used to be, but she was one scary woman when she wanted to be. And Andrew had seen the police reports from her crime spree before Angel got her to turn herself in. There were several guys who had pissed her off and wouldn’t ever have to worry about getting a girl pregnant ever again.
He sat down and dialed Faith’s cell phone. Faith and her crew were out where there were no cell towers and no cell reception, but Willow’s magic – in conjunction with a huge array of satellites that were already up there doing communications work – made it possible to get phone coverage in places no one would believe. Like deep in evil lairs and in places that had never even seen a telephone.
“What the fuck is it, A? This better be good…”
He gulped and said, “Your protocol. Not mine. Xander just signaled a Code Red.”
“What is it this time? If that chucklehead found another demon sacrifice and hadda go barge in and rescue virgins…”
He said, “No, he spotted a demon – type unknown but human-looking – in Colorado Springs, and she has knowledge of a U.S. Defense Department project that’s bringing demons into our dimension. He’s trying to get her to talk.”
Faith growled, “You’re shittin’ me.”
“No! I’m totally not!” he insisted frantically. “He’s even buying her lots and lots of drinks to get her drunk so she’ll talk more!”
Faith snorted. “You’re… No, I guess you’re not. So the Ol’ Demon Magnet’s at it again, huh?”
Andrew defended his friend. “I’m sure it’s not like that.”
Faith said, “Okay, look A, I gotta get some more sleep. We were all up late tryin’ to track a caravan of Mellinosha demons that are scarin’ the crap out of the nomads out here. But keep me informed.”
Andrew decided to risk life and limb. “Five by five.”
She didn’t yell at him. She just snickered and hung up. Okay, he’d dodged one bullet. He wiped the sweat off his forehead. Now for the next step on the list. Yet another scary step before he dared call the Code Red into HQ.
He had to call Dawn and tell her Xander had signaled a Code Red again.