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Curing Boredom in New York

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This story is No. 1 in the series "Curing Boredom". You may wish to read the series introduction first.

Summary: *Twisted Shorts 3* Faith and Buffy are bored in London, but there is a whole Alien Invasion going on in New York. Well, the solution seemed simple, go and help, and flirt with Hawkeye and Captain at the same time!

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Marvel Universe > AvengershellbellsFR1512,7624195,5403 Aug 123 Aug 12Yes
Disclaimer: I do not own either Avenger or Buffy the Vampire Slayer, I only own my twisted imagination.
Beta: For advice and helping me to de-Brit my speech; thanks has to go to ConstanceTruggle



Buffy was sitting in the London House with Faith, and they were extremely bored. After Sunnydale fell, there had been many changes amongst the core Scoobies. For one, Wesley returned to the fold, not liking the path that Angel was following. He could never join them at the law firm because as far as he was concerned; no matter what your attentions it was a Bad Idea. Well, he'd often heard the phrase when younger that the road to hell was paved with good intentions, and that is what he saw happening at Wolfram and Hart.



Back home, there had also been many changes The Council now had schools where the Slayers could gain an education. Willow had taken over one of the schools, along with Kennedy and Oz. As far as the romantic relationship between them; well, they weren't asking and the trio wasn't telling. Xander was currently living it up with the shamans in Africa, which left Buffy, Faith, Giles and Wesley recreating the Council. Surprisingly, Buffy had found that she could employ her leadership skills to a new field and was taking the political scene by storm.



Faith had sworn to follow Buffy into any battle, and if that included swanky parties - well then so be it. The last surprise had not been predicted. Wesley had offered to adopt Faith, obviously she was an adult but in England, he and Giles were Lords and could wield influence. He wanted to support Faith in a way he'd never managed to when she was younger. Giles had thought the idea brilliant and offered the same to Buffy and Dawn. It had been a no brainer; all three had accepted the deal.



For Buffy and Dawn, it had offered them a father figure who actually cared. Dawn was not enjoying it so much when he imposed a curfew - much to Buffy's delight. Dawn had gotten her own back on the slayers, though - as she started curtsying to Lady Faith and Lady Elizabeth. Buffy knew she couldn't fight it so she went with it.



The only problem though was that their own slaying had been curtailed as they were given other duties. It sucked but the only time they could slay was when they were around each other. The minis were a little too hero struck, and they had taken the sensible decision to stay back. The last thing they wanted to do was distract the slayers because a distracted slayer was a dead slayer.



Which is why the girls were sitting in the council house watching the news, feeling bored. The news was reporting the invasion of New York. They cocked their head to the side, and watched in fascination.



"Huh! Now there is something that you don't see every day," the brunette slayer observed



Buffy loved Faith's ability to state the obvious. She watched the Superhero group take a stand. Still, there were six of them and way more enemies.



Faith quirked an eyebrow, "I know they’e aliens and maybe not in the job description…"



Buffy grinned, it was not often that Faith actually whined, so she took pity and finished, "...and some of them are hot, and you think they need a hand."



Faith looked earnest, well, as earnest and as innocent as she could manage. "It’s the right thing to do."


Buffy nodded, "I agree lets go and find some weapons and lend a hand."



This was the girls room in the council house, which meant that they did not have far to go. Buffy loaded up with her favourite throwing stars, they were just so shiny around her waist. She then added a few daggers, as well as the scythe before finishing with her favourite crossbow.



Faith favoured her longsword, she added several knives, which she flicked up in the air before they were secreted away. She also gained a crossbow, but they loved their crossbows for good reason. Willow had put spells on their crossbows that once they fired an arrow, the mechanism would automatically reload. Willow made the best arrows - they landed on their target and then they exploded.



Feeling ready, and eager to lose some of their restless energy Buffy called Dawn. She was really glad that Dawn was home from Oxford.



Dawnie was a mind-reader because she came ready with the wicca materials to make a portal. The minute the slayers landed they went on the attack. There were a group of civilians trapped and the Avengers were just a little too far away to protect them.



Buffy distracted the Chitari soldiers in the most effective way - she beheaded the leader. In doing so the soldiers turned their attention to them and left the group alone. Faith wasted no time, she screamed, "Run", thankfully they listened. She wasn't sure what did it; her twisting the head off another foot soldier, or Buffy shooting one of the flying leviathans, and watching with a winning smile as it burnt to a crisp.



Flying above, Tony figured that he had died and gone to heaven. On the comm, he asked, "Thor did you invite any of your family to the party."



The snort belonged to Natasha, "We need to look at your definition of a party."



Thor, for a god, looked adorably confused, "Nay, there is only Loki and I."



Tony would have shrugged, except he was in a flying suit, "Okay so who are the hotchicks fighting down the block?"



Admittedly, the group did stare, but Stark soon bought them back to focus. "Guys I'm bringing the party to you."



Faith and Buffy had to admire the chutzpah of the group. A floppy haired, slightly older guy had driven through the carnage and stopped by them.



Captain America was staring at her, "Thanks for the assistance."



Buffy snickered, "We're hot chicks with superpowers and we were bored."



Faith grinned, salaciously, "Someone needs to protect your fine ass, Apple-pie."



The group found it adorable that Steve blushed, but interestingly, they noticed his smirk. It was nice to see that whilst he really did live up to the legend; he was only human.



The adorable little chick flick moment was broken by Stark's comment, "Brining it home now."



The others took a deep breath, unsure what they could do. Steve looked to Dr Banner, "It might be a good time to get angry."



Buffy saw how sad he was, and she was reminded of Oz, "That's not a problem, I'm always angry."



The leviathan that was tailing Tony was huge. The team were impressed that the two new women didn’t blink when they saw Banner transform. He roared at the encroaching alien, but didn't move away from the group. Amazingly, he considered the tiny man to be a leader. Faith and Buffy didn't blink as they raised their crossbows once again.



Buffy looked to Steve, "Where’s their weakness?"



"The underbelly."



Faith's eyes took on an unholy gleam, "Well, let’s take the fight to them."



Hawkeye was in love, and at the same time, he was jealous. He had seen the women fight and was impressed, they were deadlier than Natasha, and he never thought that possible. Then he'd seen the blonde shoot a crossbow, and if he wasn't in the middle of a fight he would be flirting – right now. The reason he was jealous was their crossbows were reloading without them having to do it manually.



The leviathan exploded somewhere between the forth and tenth shot.



The team took a minute to collect their breaths, yet they could do no more.



Tony joined them, hovering just above. He charmingly gave two headpieces over to Buffy and Faith.



The faceplate receded so he could smile charmingly, "Welcome to the team. I always admire woman who are as deadly as they are beautiful."



Faith smirked, "Well, we were in the neighbourhood."



Steve sighed, frustrated. They were starting to make inroads into the aliens, but for every one they killed, two more appeared. Natasha could tell they had the same problem, "We need to close the portal."



Steve knew what they needed to do, he gave his team orders. He looked to the slayers, and smiling, "You're wildcards and I feel you know where best to fight."



It was ironic really, Buffy had died falling from a tower, but in this situation she would be best shooting from a rooftop. Faith nodded in agreement, the bond between the two slayers was such that they knew what the other was thinking. She had a jaunty grin, "Go and do the Robin Hood act, I'll keep Apple pie safe."



Buffy smirked, "It's a worthy cause... Hey Tincan will you give me a lift with Robin."



Hawkeye smirked, at least his nickname wasn't too bad. The archer found he work well with the blonde. They targeted together, it was clear that she was good enough not to need a spotter. The advantage of having two on the roof is that they could cover a larger area, and help both groups. She laughed in amusement as Hulk smashed into things with relish. Faith made a comment, "You B, think he'd like your hammer?"



Buffy snickered, "I'll make sure to wrap it up... party heading to you six o'clock. Rule number one."



Faith shot back, "Coming from the girl who has died three times."


Buffy snickered, "Do as I say, not as I do." She quipped rightback.



Hawkeye looked up, "You throw my kind parties."



Buffy looked to the side. "Well, looks like it is about to warm up."



Hawkeye agreed, "Guys, we'll be fighting for a few minutes."



On the ground, Steve was feeling truly alive for the first time this century. The woman next to him fought brilliantly, and she had an easy banter that made him relax. It was like being back with his unit in the war. He fell, having caught a blast. Faith picked him up, "Come on, you’re not wimping out on me."



Steve shook his head, "Not me, miss."


Faith smirked as she protected his back, "Well we can't have America falling."



Buffy was twirling and stabbing with wild abandon. "Best workout ever. I'll even take the lecture from Dad."



Faiths snickered, "Nah, set Dr Eyepatch on G-man; he'll leave us alone."



On the roof, Hawkeye was taking a minute to be grateful for the assist, "Thanks for saving my ass."



Buffy looked him up and down, in an unmistakable way, "It’s such a cute ass. It needs to be saved."



Well, he may have a whole butt load of issues, and a burning desire to put an arrow in Loki's eye, but if he could get a date out of all this, well. Everyone works better when they have incentives, right?



He smirked, and it was full of dirty promises. The type of promises which would help Buffy settle one of her H and H itches.



The fight was gaining momentum; Buffy saw Natasha gain hold of the staff. Thor was fighting his brother, and everyone was finally managing to make gains against the Chitari. Buffy and Clint were once again fighting on the ground, as the team was fighting back-to-back. She heard the team’s horror when they announced the nuclear weapon.





Buffy watched in awe, and with a respect that came from already having done the same thing as Stark. She just said softly, "Go out with a bang, Tincan."



Stark chuckled softly, "I only wished I'd met you and your friend earlier."



Faith snickered, refusing to let the man dwell on what he was about to do. "Which one of us would you have slept with?"



Tony snorted, "Come on, the answer is easy - both of you. At the same time."



Faith saw Buffy smile, but it was haunted. She was determined though, so she continued the banter, "I don't know I would have been game, but B seems to like Legolas."



Tony mock sighed, "That's so not fair. I've got more charm, personality and money than him."


Faith snickered as she stabbed yet another soldier, "True but she likes them broody."



They heard Natasha's voice over the comm. "I can close the portal."



Steve looked stricken, but Buffy touched his shoulder. She didn't say anything; she was a leader. He would make the decision, but this was the sucky part of being a leader. "Close it."



The deed was done, but there are some days where everyone wins, and more importantly - lives.



The Hulk reacted quickest and moved to intercept his falling friend. He liked the tincan; he was like the fighting women; he was not afraid of the Hulk. He let go of him so as not to hurt him. "Hulk save Tincan."



The billionaire looked almost peaceful, the reactor didn't seem broken but they would not be able to save him, if he had internal bleeding. Buffy was clearly battle fatigued, "Hey Stark if you don't wake up, I'm letting Hulk do CPR."



Tony spluttered, coming back to consciousness. "Whatever happened to wanting to sleep with me?"



"You have a redhead to kiss you whenever you want, besides, I think I've gained a liking for Apple-pie." Faith observed.



The comment made Tony stare in disbelief; this was wrong on every level. Thor, not being aware of the humans’ love of celebrating a happy ending, rained on their parade. "We still have my treacherous brother to deal with."



Unbeknownst to the others, Clint and Buffy, who had bonded about their hatred of gods had slipped off to handle Loki.



Buffy's handling of the god involved her throwing him all around the street until she got bored, or Clint, her new friend, was suitably avenged. It turns out that Clint had many unresolved feelings so it didn't look like she was going to be bored anytime soon. Still, all the other Avengers were here, so she threw him into the alleyway.



As he shook the ringing from his ears, he should have realised there was a reason that Sif liked this woman. He was met with a face full of weapons being pointed at him, and the Avengers.



"I'll have that drink now."



Tony, who was just about standing having been helped up by Steve, snickered, absolutely delighted by the turn in fortune. "Do you like my new friends? We are going to be BFF's, I can tell."



Fury, who had somehow managed to track them down, said a little wryly, "I'm not sure that the world can take Tony Stark and Lady Wyndham-Price being friends."



Faith laughed, "You say the nicest things eyepatch. On a scale of 1 - 10 how mad are the dads."



Buffy winced alongside Faith, they had figured that it was better to ask forgiveness than permission, but both knew they would be in for a lecture as a consequence. Fury just shook his head in bemusement; he had enough to deal with, with his own superhero bratty kids.



"Well I told Lord Giles that you were both safe and providing assistance to S.H.E.I.L.D agents, which we were appropriately grateful for. Then I had to promise you would be home in time for bed."



Buffy pouted, "But we were bored," then a wicked grin graced her features, "... besides I think I want to get my new friends better."



It was clear from who she was staring at, and how she was staring at Hawkeye - just who she wanted to be friends with.



Fury shook his head in bemusement, and his mind was going to nightmarish places. The thought of the Avengers and Slayers being friends could be beneficial –politically. Of course, they would then be able to influence each other. He really hoped that the world stayed standing if they did.



Fury should have planned for even worse contingencies: marriage, kids and deranged extended families; worse. I mean who the hell gives two year olds bow and arrows. Any other parents would have chewed out 'Uncle Tony', instead, Buffy and Clint took the bow, admired it and promised to teach the grasshopper. The next week there had been a similar incident, surely Captain America would balk about his three year old son being given a sword. Nope, not even a twitch, he just asked James to put it on the weapon wall, so Momma Faith could teach him.



Fury decided to retreat in order to preserve his sanity and leave. He'd take the sickos he dealt with everyday over dealing with the superheroes - they at least followed rules.

The End

You have reached the end of "Curing Boredom in New York". This story is complete.

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