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How to deal with Evil Humans

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This story is No. 3 in the series "Slayers in Hawaii". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: *Twisted Shorts 11* Buffy knows that someone is targetting her hubby Steve. Still, she’s in a predicament; she can’t stake, behead, or kill the problem because surprisingly their human.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > Hawaii Five-OhellbellsFR1311,918182,12611 Aug 1211 Aug 12Yes
Timeline: Post Buffy TV series, and AU for Hawaii 5-0 as of 1x21
Authors note: Part of the Slayers in Hawaii ‘verse
Disclaimer: I own nada, not BtVS or Hawaii 5-0. If I did, I would be considerably richer!



Hawaii 5-0

Buffy liked Hawaii. As home bases go, it was pretty awesome. Buffy only really left when she and Faith were required to fight an occasional apocalypse. Or, for the odd foreign trip to ensure that the forces of supernatural were running smoothly. She definitely did not like this Wo-Fat character, she itched to kick his ass, but there was one thing she'd learnt when she'd threatened him - he was a human asshole, so therefore off limits.



Wo-Fat, thought about it, but decided he needed information. He remembered the threat delivered by McGarret's wife, vividly. Buffy McGarret, had told him to stay away from the 5-0, and especially Steve McGarret, or he would pay. Well, he needed more information to judge how seriously to take the threat. He knew who to go to, in order to seek the necessary information. After all, he certainly paid her enough - Governor, Pat Jameson.

The only trouble with digging for information, even, when you're a Governor is that you can attract the wrong attention. And this is exactly what happened.
The minute she asked for a background check, on one Buffy McGarret, she set off many red-flags throughout much of the American bureaucracy, but more importantly, it came to the attention of a certain witch.

Willow and Andrew had hacked the attempted intrusion, and been startled to find the source. They hated when they misjudged someone; it was so rare these days. Willow needed more information so she started to dig - she was not impressed. Andrew was so scared ... Willow's hair was black - he'd heard the stories - he ran for Giles.

Willow ignored the nervous geek, and continued to search out what the foe wanted. The shock of finding out that it was a human foe made her lose the black hair. She dug up all the information that she could find, before sending it to Buffy. She wanted her friend to have all the information she would need. Once compiled, she created a mini portal and phoned Buffy to explain to her exactly what she had just sent.



Buffy was at the beach with Faith. It was good to be the Chosen Two - they could have a rest when they wanted. Faith could tell that whoever had phoned Buffy - had pissed her off - big style. Faith knew without a doubt, that someone had threatened people Buffy considered family. If so, then they really were stupid bastards, Faith thought. It turns out, that Wo-Fat and the Governor had made a very bad mistake.

Faith could actually feel the anger through the chosen bond. Buffy looked Faith directly in the eye, to convey how serious she was, "We're paying a visit to the Governor."

Faith lifted her shades, "Right now?"

Buffy nodded, Faith caught the hard flint in her eyes, it was not normally seen outside apocalypse season. "Oh yeah she's working with Wo-Fat."

Faith stood up, moving with the fluid grace of a predator, and at the moment radiating a similar danger. The governor they would deal with but Wo-Fat needed to answer for his crimes as well. This dude was going down; they'd try official channels first and if that failed, then they would act - looking at Buffy she knew that her sister slayer was feeling the same urges to protect her mate. It didn't matter that their lovers were very capable of protecting themselves; this was personal and it made the more animalistic sides of their nature come to the fore.

She stood ready for battle and looked to Buffy, "Plan?"

Buffy thought about it, and was glad that she remembered that Danny and Steve were away from their Island today.

"Let's pay a visit to a friend." Such an innocent statement, but Buffy’s grin promised chaos, and Faith knew that if she looked in the mirror she would have a matching grin.

Faith grinned, they were never, not armed. After all, you couldn’t have reached their age, in their business, without always being permanently armed. Buffy and Faith did not bother to change, or bother to ring for an appointment. Buffy wasn't inclined to make this meeting easy on the good governor. However, if Willow’s information was to be believed, then the last statement was a bit of an oxymoron.



From the formal functions, Buffy knew exactly where to go in the Governor’s palace. She moved like an intercept missile; she currently had the same laser focus as on too. Someone had threatened her family, and they were going to pay - dearly. She just really hated when they weren’t supernatural. It kind of sucked. It took all the violence out of their problem solving solutions – Well, sort of, as long as the humans weren’t permanently injured then the rest was considered fair game.

The security was woeful, and maybe they were being unfair but still, Faith and she literally barrelled past them. It was rather liberating to fling the doors to the Governors inner wide open and stand there grinning like a lunatic. Buffy stood there, looking larger than life; honestly, no one would believe that she was barely topping five feet. "We really need to talk Governor."

The Security around her snapped into action. They were down in less than twenty seconds. What else could you expect? The security team when she was younger only lasted 48 seconds and she'd gotten better in her old age. Oh, and she had a second slayer to help, and Faith was certainly no slouch.

She was pleased to see the Governor wasn’t cowed - this would make it more fun. "How dare you barge in!" the Governor bellowed.

Buffy would give the bellow a two. Honestly, PMS week in the New-York House was far scarier. "I can do what I like ... Can't I Faith?"

Faith smirked, but it wasn't nice, no, not one bit, but then again the Governor had inadvertency put Grace at risk. Well, fewer things pissed Faith off more than that. "Show her the bed-time reading B. I think she'll enjoy it."

Pat read the file and paled. Whoever had hacked her connections was very thorough. It was all laid out in black and white, the meetings between her and Wo-Fat, the payments an how she’d helped him escape arrest. She asked, slightly bewildered, "Who are you?" It was the one frustrating question that she had been unable to answer. The paper files on Buffy McGarret had more holes than Swiss cheese.

Buffy looked directly at her and unleashed the slayer. She watched in satisfaction as the woman shrank back in her chair. It wasn’t fair, but Buffy figured screw it, she’d threatened family. "I'm the woman you just tried to get information about. It’s too bad Wo-Fat didn’t listen, but he was too stupid to back off when given a warning."

Faith enjoyed her part, she calmly added, "Oh Wo-Fat can't help you. An army friend of B's is picking him up about now."

She sat back defeated. She'd known that getting involved with Wo-Fat was stupid, but she'd been cornered and reasoned it away. Now, when faced with the woman who watched the back of the next McGarret Wo-Fat wanted to wipe out. Well, now she realised that the phrase about just deserts was spot on. How else could you explain it?

The Governor could tell that Buffy McGarret, was physically holding herself in check so as not to strike her. It was also very clear that she had more than enough details to ruin her. The only question now was what they wanted her to do. "What do you want me to do?"

Buffy sighed because she would like nothing more than to destroy this woman’s life; the slayer inside her demanded nothing less. The only problem was in doing so; it could ruin the men in her life. Thus, making this entire task futile. If she exposed the Governor as corrupt; then it would cast associated guilt upon 5-0 - a team she'd authorised. Buffy looked to Faith, wanting her agreement because it wouldn't be fair otherwise.

She got the silent nod, supporting her play. So Buffy leaned forward on the desk, not bothering to hide her nature, "Here is what is going to happen ... You are going to announce that you are stepping down effectively immediately … I don’t care what reason you site - Pick One." Buffy wasn't finished, "I'm only doing this because you were a family friend of Steve’s and this just might destroy him... However, if I catch a whiff of you trying to screw us over - I guarantee that the authorities will never find your body."

Faith snickered; it wasn't an empty threat. Willow had perfected dimension spells - the Governor would literally disappear one day down a black hole.

Having got that unpleasantness out of the way, the two sister slayers, went to Kamekona’s for some shave ice. The CI had a soft spot for the slayers and would always give them free shave ice and information – much to the consternation of their men.

They took their time to reach the McGarret home, and were surprised to see Steve and Danny watching the TV in shock.

Buffy could take a wild guess at what had shocked them so, but she asked innocently as she could manage, “What’s up babe?”

“The Governor has retired on grounds of ill health.” The surprise was evident in his voice.

Faith barely resisted the snort, but she knew that by doing so it would ruin all of the day’s activities, “Huh, so who’s your boss now?”

“Denning, but he’s asking Psycho-SEAL to run as his Deputy-Governor until an election can be held.”

Faith snickered, she adored Steve, no really, she did; the one case, where he chucked the suspect in a shark tank still made her laugh. She couldn’t help it, that Danny would get wound up every-time she supported Steve’s reaction. Also, as long as Grace wasn’t around, then Faith was always happy to reap the benefits of winding her detective up.

Steve was looking very closely at his wife. He knew her too well; she was feeling very satisfied by something. The only question was what? He asked, the normal question, “Did you have a fun day dear?”

Buffy nodded, and smirked, it did nothing to reassure her husband. Still, once she slid close, giving him a hug and a kiss, he got a little distracted. Seriously, forget SEAL training, Buffy was too damn distracting. She smiled, and it was like looking at the sun, “Yep, we went to the beach, and then we did a bit of surfing ... Hit the bar for some food before grabbing shave-ice.”

Faith could tell that if they let the detective duo stay together, it might all come out. So being the awesome slayer that she was, she grabbed her boy-toy, dragging him by his beloved tie to the car. Ties were awesome she decided, as she dragged him back to their apartment, in order to scratch a few itches.

All the Jersey detective could hear as he was led by his tie was the destructive couple’s deep laughter. He wondered how exactly this had become his life, but then he remembered that if you discounted that he was living on a cancer-inducing island – his life was kind of awesome.

The duo never did find out what the women were so happy about that day.

The End

You have reached the end of "How to deal with Evil Humans". This story is complete.

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