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Summary: A collection of shorts and drabbles that have absolutely nothing to do with any other series whatsoever

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > General(Current Donor)vidiconFR71712,526013031,69912 Aug 1221 Nov 14No

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Escape from Azkaban

I do not own Harry Potter. No cross. Just silly.

Escape from Azkaban

Once he put his mind to it, it was really remarkably easy to escape Azkaban, Sirius thought smugly as he swam towards the mainland, the cold of the north sea penetrating through his warm, thick fur and sending shivers down his emaciated and anaemic body.

*Dementors are no match for my genius!*

Demmy shivered as she watched the black dog swim away. She hastened towards the Recuperation Room. It had not been used for centuries, but in the last ten years or so, it was the refuge of every Dementor in Azkaban.

“Has he gone?” Drainer asked anxiously with a flutter of robes and a a waft of cold.

“Yes,” Demmy replied with a heartfelt exhalation of bone chilling mist. “Finally!”

“And he still believes we cannot sense Animagi?” Kissy Face demanded to know with an anxious wail.

“Not unless someone told the wizards, and they never even considered the option,” Demmy’s robes whispered back.

“Wizards,” Kissy Face stated, “Are dumb.”

“Do you think he will make it?” Misty, another Dementor asked, her name sake fog surrounding her and expressing her meaning.

“Who cares? As long as he's no longer here!” Demmy made a loop just under the ceiling in her exultation.

“Indeed. Peace will return. We can safely concentrate on tormenting those incarcerated here,” Kissy Face floated up serenely. “Never will we have to endure that uncouth dogs vile behaviour again!”

Hours later, Sirius Black crawled into the stair cupboard of long abandoned cottage and settled down to dry out as best he might. Settling down in his usual position, curled up to conserve warmth, he sighed and started to lick his genitals and soon the lovely feeling of sexual gratification overwhelmed him, his only solace during his years in Azkaban. And he never found out it was this habit that had finally broken the Dementors and led to their conspiring to get him free.
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