Lost in Sunnydale
Author’s note: I’ll be using this ‘story’ as a dump for silly ideas and drabbles. Despite renovating and moving I had to write and post this. It’s been niggling at me for weeks, the stupid thing. Disclaimer in the end note. I’m working on chapter 79 of LS and several other things. Once I’m moved in and life is a bit more regular again, I’ll get back onto a normal posting schedule for that. This is unbeta’d. Lost in Sunnydale
Willow loved Xander. She really, really did. But it was at times like these that she wished that she was as strong as Buffy so she could hit him. Okay, with a fake hammer, one of those you could buy in a novelty store, one of those inflatable ones. A pink one, as an assault on his manliness.
Willow scowled as even her train of thought was babbling. She looked up at the cemetery sign, sighed and turned into it.
“Stupid Xander. I mean, it wasn’t as if it’s really dangerous. I mean, I deleted the core program entirely, and dumped it; I even removed the brain and replaced it with a new one! And I went into that creepy dungeon-basement again and found everything that had anything to do with how he functioned,” She muttered, glanced over her shoulder, scowled again, before kicking a stone.
“Hello Will. Talking to yourself again?” Came Buffy’s cheerful voice.
Willow looked up. “Well, so would you if you were followed around by that thing!”
Buffy grinned. “Ah, but Willow, you created him. Well, put him together from bits that were left over, but still. You’re responsible for him. Like you know, he was a puppy.”
Willow almost growled. “Oh, stop it. All of you have made it plenty clear that I was dumb, and I was dumb okay?”
Buffy smiled beatifically. “Are dumb, Will. You still haven’t dismantled him.”
Willow sighed. “That’s because he can be useful. I know he can be useful, Buffy. Just let me prove it.”
Buffy lifted an eyebrow. “Will, thanks to your little toy I had to tell Mom what goes bump in the night. Can you say ‘Grounded till you’re thirty’? Oh and didn’t your Mom flip when she found an older guy in your bed room closet?”
Willow winced. “Okay, so it wasn’t the smartest thing I ever did.”
“You can say that again.” Buffy snorted. “But I suppose it did work out. I mean, it was sort of worth it to get into trouble with Mom to see Giles whimper and cross his legs whenever he sees her,” Buffy smirked.
Willow perked up. “See! I told you he was useful! And I got a letter from NASA and DARPA and MIT after mom called them and told them what I did.”
“You also got grounded for another month when she found out he was fully functional,” Buffy pointed out. “And all that is coincidence. Mom might also have died of a stroke from seeing him again.”
“I know, I know, I’ll apologize again, okay? Bake some more cookies?” Willow offered.
“Not gonna work, Will. You might want to mow the lawn though,” Buffy added after some thought.
Willow gave her friend a look. “Yeah, right. I seem to recall that is your chore? Anyway, I know he’s useful. Mom even uses him around the house.”
“So why so glum, oh Frankenstein? Or is that Fronkenstien?” Buffy teased.
There was a voice from behind. “DANGER, WILL ROSENBERG! DANGER!”
Buffy jumped out of the way of the attacking vampire just in time, twirled, and staked it. Then she looked at the ‘New and Improved Ted Mk. 2’ and then at Willow, who was glaring at the robot.
“Was that…?” Buffy started to giggle.
“Yeah,” Willow sulked.
“How?” Buffy wondered. “I mean, you didn’t do it, right?”
Willow shook her head. “Remember after you and Xander found out how I showed you how he worked and how easy he was to repair and maintain and shut down if you knew how?”
Buffy nodded. And then grinned. “Ooooh… Xander?”
Willow nodded unhappily. “He told me he wouldn’t come to my birthday unless I installed that voice…”
Buffy laughed. “Where did he get it?”
“Science fiction convention in LA,” Willow sighed. “He probably stalked the poor man into compliance.”
Buffy grinned and shook her head at the robot who gazed back. “Well, I think it’s an improvement. Come on Robby.”
“I follow,” the robot replied in the voice of Robot B-9. End note: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Lost in Space. Dick Tufeld (December 11, 1926 – January 22, 2012) voiced the Robot and spoke the famous line: Danger, Will Robinson! Which prompted this short.