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This story is No. 9 in the series "A divine family". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: *TS 16* Lorne was a little nervous to be officially meeting Buffy's parents. After all, how does one prepare for a dinner with the God of the Underworld, and his wife? Shepard hopes she leaves his Marines alone in the meantime and then it gets weird.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Stargate > Buffy-Centered > Pairing: OtherhellbellsFR1559,64164013,34416 Aug 124 Aug 14Yes

After he Cheats

Authors Note Merry xmas Bradsan you're awesome prompt gave rise to this chapter. Hope you like!




Revenge is a dish best served cold or that is how the saying goes. Faith believed that maybe true, unless your adoptive family runs hell - in their case it ran hot. The hotter the better in fact. She was in tears watching the scene unfold in front of her. It was to put it simply priceless. She couldn't even put in into words. However it wasn't her fault which was bonus, as it meant that Giles couldn't yell at her. The better part was that there was no way that Giles could discipline the culprit as she was Hades daughter.

The party was a drag and when she'd heard Buffy's voice in her head asking if she wanted reinforcements - her only response had been a fervent, "Hell yeah."

Buffy flaming in had shocked most of them to the point where weapons were drawn. Faith snickered hearing Buffy say in her head, "This will be fun."

Faith laughed so hard when every weapon turned to flowers. Buffy stood in leather pants and a stylised military jacket, which suggested that she’d coming from seeing her lover. It was really good fun to tease her about Evan. It wouldn’t just be Buffy’s boyfriend that would get a kick out of this retelling. Buffy stood, tongue in cheek, grinning as she made a ‘v sign’ with her fingers, “make peace not war!”

Faith clapped her hands in glee. Buffy only flirted with the mortal world these days but she still knew how to throw a party. Faith then rolled her eyes at the others, as if to suggest that they were slow, “Say it with me people ... Goddess.”

As with situations that the Scoobies were unsure on how to deal with - they ignored it, which was five by five as far as Buffy and Faith were concerned. In fact, Faith knowing how uncomfortable her Puppy made the others wolf-whistled loudly. Soon enough Sid came to his mistresses side wagging it’s tail happily. Buffy greeted the pup, who was one of the more excitable pups of Vicious, her fathers favoured hellhound.

Giles who’d stood off on the side tutted, “Honestly Faith you know that the dog makes people nervous.”

Buffy snorted, not bothering to hide her disdain. People would always get it wrong, the Hellhounds were the guardians of the Underworld. “Sid is only a pup and father wanted Faith to stay safe.”

Giles really had no come back to that and he knew it but he was a little pained to hear that the dog was only a pup as that implied that it would still grow. He frowned hearing Faith swear creatively in Ancient Greek, which set Buffy off laughing. He couldn’t be sure who was a bad influence on whom. It was the appearance of Robin that had set off Faith. Buffy was not fond of Robin and she was sure that she could convince Aunty Aphrodite to gain some revenge on him for Faith. Buffy did not want her sister in all but blood to be sad, “Say the word and I’ll set his ass on fire.”

Giles listened in despair, “Buffy I know I can’t stop you but please don’t light his arse on fire.”

Buffy pouted, “Look unless he says something that provokes me I won’t do it.”

Of course thats when she overhears Robin explain that their break up was down to Faith’s inability to bend. Buffy’s first inclination was to set his ass on fire but then she’d have to deal with the moaning whines of the mortals, who assumed that she still played on their level. A second later, Buffy’s smirk turned down right evil, “I’ll be right back.”

Giles was a little disconcerted by the unconventional disappearing act. “Where is she going?”

Faith was wondering herself; she favoured the Underworld or Atlantis currently. She doubted that she’d gone to the Underworld, as Perspehone and Hades had just made up and were in the sickeningly in love stage.



Buffy flamed into her cousins office and was delighted that Mitchell and Lorne were already present. “I need to borrow Kansas.” She was straight to the point as she wanted to get back quickly.

Lorne pouted, “Hey Love. So nice too see you Lorne.”

Buffy rolled her eyes, “Yeah,” she gave him a quick peck, “You know I love you but I’m plotting revenge. And I need Kansas!”

Sheppard was trying not to laugh; it was unbecoming of an officer and the Son of Zeus - it was so hard. If Mitchell was paying attention then he’d have already made the link, it was Faith that called him Kansas. The little trip that Buffy and Faith had paid to help him train his troops had been hilarious and a source of much antacid for Richard.

Lorne was the only one who was fairly certain that he wouldn’t get any retribution for asking, “So why do you need Mitchell?”

Buffy sighed and realised that it was only fair that she explain herself. Her ascension to full goddess had rather spoilt her in that respect. “I’m playing nice for Faith at the Watchers party.”

Lorne was not hopeful, he knew how little patience Buffy had with regards certain people, “Anyone’s ass on fire?” He couldn’t resist asking.

Sheppard laughed remembering when last week some particularly stupid new marines had made a play for the Slayers - she’d set their asses on fire and then dropped them at her boyfriends feet to deal with. He wasn’t too sure who they were more afraid of their XO or the goddess. Lorne had only looked smug and said he’d learnt a few things off Hades.

Buffy smiled brightly, showing she was proud of her restraint, “No one is on fire but Faith’s ex is being a big bastard and while I’d like to set his ass on fire - I have a better solution.”

Sheppard snickered, “So what you want is for Mitchell to pimp himself out for the evening?”

Buffy grinned, “Exactly - any objections Kansas?”

Mitchell had read the report where Buffy and Sheppard on their own had ripped apart a foothold invasion force on their own - before Buffy had dealt with Ba’al. So really even if he had any objections he wouldn’t have voiced them. However he actually really like them and he was more than okay with spending the evening making Faith’s ex jealous. It had the added advantage that he himself could make a move on Faith.

“No and I don’t have anything better to do.”

Sheppard could see the calculating gleam in Mitchell’s eye and wished him well. Of course to have half a chance he’d have to pass a dinner date with Aunty Seph and Uncle Hades so he wasn’t too worried. Still he wasn’t stupid he’d made Colonel without ever revealing his powers, “Lorne go spend the evening with Buffy.”

It was probably their best chance of avoiding bloodshed, and it was not like Lorne was going to object to spending time with his almost fiance. “Yes Sir.”



Faith watched Robin saunter over to her and she wished that she could borrow a fraction of Buffy’s power for a second. He was really was a smug bastard, “So you came alone?”

Faith was a second away from giving Sid the whistle to signal that she wanted Sid to bite his ass when a flame by the side of her distracted her. So she settled with a snark, “Well cheating bastards were already here.”

Robin flushed, “It’s not my fault you were emotionally unavailable.”

She could smell the fresh, clean smell that she’d come to associate with Atlantis laundry. She almost shivered at the accent, and leant into the arm that wrapped around her. “Funny I never noticed that about you babe.” Huh, she thought, Kansas had hidden depths.

Robin froze and Buffy got into his face, “Hey long time no see Robin. This is Colonel Lorne my guy and this is Colonel Mitchell who is Faith’s guy.”
Faith heard the music change to something slinky. She didn’t even have to say anything she grabbed Buffy’s hand and pulled her to the makeshift dance-floor.

Mitchell watched as their primal dance started. It was all wild, and free. People watched and somehow parted so that Buffy and Faith could perform. Robin was still standing feeling a little unsettled. After all it was a little hard to try and make himself feel big next to two men who were genuine American Heroes who didn’t even acknowledge him. The men didn’t care about Robin they were watching the seduction occurring on the dancefloor. Whilst both soldiers had been been trained to resist torture - they hadn’t been trained to resist the temptation of the two slayers.

As Giles, “Oh dear lord,” rang across the floor the pairs snickered. Mitchell leant into Faith and asked, “Can this be more more than teasing your Ex?”

Faith was more than a little turned on and had appreciated his gentle southern charm when they’d been on Atlantis. She moved her hands to wrap around his neck, as she pulled him down for a kiss, deep and passionate like they were. They broke reluctantly for air, Faith whispered next to his ear, he could practically hear her smile, “It is cool with me Kansas.”

Faith looked over her shoulder and saw Robin’s sour face. She didn’t need any revenge. The fact that she was content and happy - seemed to be enough to get her own revenge on for being a cheating bastard.

However it seems that Buffy was not content without doing nothing to Robin. The dancing couples moved closer as Buffy wanted to be able to flame them out of there. Buffy though had one final thing to do. She would like to point out that she did not set his ass on fire. What she did do though was burn ‘cheating ass’ into his jeans. So his ass may have been singed but hey, she didn’t care. And truth be told it was not like any of them could tell her off.

The council watched in disbelief as the two apparently happy couples burst out laughing, before flaming out. Giles feared that he was losing Faith just like he had Buffy. However when he thought about it he couldn’t really blame either woman. First things first, he hated cheaters as much as the next real gentleman so he’d finish what Buffy started.

Just maybe it was time to let Ripper have a little play.
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