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Meet the Parents

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This story is No. 9 in the series "A divine family". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: *TS 16* Lorne was a little nervous to be officially meeting Buffy's parents. After all, how does one prepare for a dinner with the God of the Underworld, and his wife? Shepard hopes she leaves his Marines alone in the meantime and then it gets weird.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Stargate > Buffy-Centered > Pairing: OtherhellbellsFR1559,64164013,34616 Aug 124 Aug 14Yes

Chapter One

Authors note: Okay, so last year I wrote a short Secret Identity – which then spawned another 7 stories over the last years. I feel it’s only fair to give you guys another story in the Divine Family verse. For those unfamiliar what you need to know is that Buffy is in fact Hades daughter, and John Sheppard is Zeus’ son.
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Percy Jackson, Stargate Atlantis or Buffy the Vampire Slayer. All rights belong to their owners and I merely borrow the characters for your amusement.

Sheppard was enjoying the chance of having breakfast with his girlfriend, without any emergency taking him away from it. Of course, even with his powers, he refused to give voice to his thoughts and incur some retaliation by the fate sisters – they were not his biggest fan.

Cadman stole his fruit, something he was becoming used to. She was grinning, animatedly telling him about Lorne.

“So I’ve finally found what it takes to break Lorne.” She said with not a little relish. He truly loved his girlfriend, she was a little twisted, and he kind of loved her more for it.

He smirked, and all but drawled, "Do tell, because I thought after six years, with me as boss meant nothing would do it."

Cadman smirked, "Yes but that was before he had been invited to dinner with Buffy's Daddy."

Sheppard snickered, and a few of his soldiers looked uneasy, they knew what that tone from their commander meant. "Be fair, he's mortal and about to journey to the underworld for a meet the parents’ dinner."

Laura played it clueless. "Why? I met you're Dad and we’re golden."

She had a point; John had taken his girlfriend to see his father, and watched in fascination as they bonded over their love of wanton destruction. He had just sat back, enjoyed Mt Olympus and breathed a sigh of relief. And thanked father that his stepmother had not been around. In a battle between Cadman, and his stepmother Hera; he wasn’t too sure if he could call the winner.

Then a thought struck him, Buffy was technically a specialist on the Atlantis books. Buffy was due to pop in to Atlantis today, which was always fun.

Lorne walked in to the mess hall, looking a little more relaxed. Sheppard didn't want to know; Buffy was his favourite cousin, but there were some things that even he didn't want to know about.

He waved over his second, wondering exactly just where Buffy was, and wondering whether he should warn the Infirmary.

Sheppard tried not to look in pain as he asked. Buffy for the most part wouldn't destroy the mortals; she remembered how much she liked them. Still, that did not include Jarheads, who were known for saying stupid comments, and despite his best efforts Atlantis still had a few.

"I'm probably going to regret asking this, but where is my cousin?"

Lorne had tried to look innocent, but Sheppard was wising up to his tricks. "She got talking with Ronan, and he wanted to go help her train. He thinks they shouldn't be so weak."

Sheppard winced, "Oh Christ, we’ll be lucky if they don’t cut through the whole pack of Marines."

Upon entering the Gym, he wasn't sure whether he should be relieved, or not. Buffy and Ronan had chosen not to break any of his soldiers, which he was grateful for; truly he was. He was supposed to look after the men under his command, but then again, when they went through the gate they needed to be prepared. He'd had this argument more than once with Woolsey. The leader felt that the training regime was just this side of brutal. Sheppard had been proud of himself because he had spoken eloquently enough for Woolsey to agree.

Gate business was a tough affair. Often, the enemies would play dirty, and as a consequence, so did his soldiers needed to learn. He wasn't running a training camp, and he refused to let good men and women die needlessly. It was something of a bug bear of his; one look at his record would all but confirm this.

Buffy and Ronan were moving across the training mat with all the speed, grace and restrained danger of playing lions. Only difference was the massive swords they were using to spar. The Marines were cheering and a few were making lewd comments, Sheppard almost started laughing, at Zelenka’s comment. For a scientist, he really was quite bloodthirsty and when he lost his patience, and snapped, “That woman fried Anubis, is dating you’re XO, is cousin to your CO and is winning against Ronan … I’m begging you to say that to her face.”

Sheppard decided to speak up at this point, “Let’s not forget that my cousin is the goddess of all warriors and her father is the god of the underworld.”

Buffy was radiant in the middle of a battle. Her joy was positively brimming over, and no one would doubt her divinity.

One of the braver soldier’s, who was actually new to the Atlantis roster, asked a sensible question. “Why face a goddess? It is not like we can actually win.”

Sheppard shook his head; it was the problem with gaining soldiers straight form normal service. “Warfare on Earth has rules … out there. It does not. You will face foes – faster, stronger and smarter than you. You need to learn to survive.”

Buffy laughter rang out through the room, as Ronan bowed. Ronan, loved battling the goddess as she was a true challenge, one that encouraged him to improve. She had a crooked grin, “Come on Mr Colonel let’s show them what you mean.”

Sheppard had a matching grin, he knew what Buffy meant – fight as gods, not mortals.

“Normal rules?”

Buffy smirked, “Oh yeah.”

The soldiers watched as the air around the pair almost shimmered, and then they stood there in battle armor. Although to call it armor, was too simplistic, and it did not fully capture the beauty of the armor. It was shiny, had more maneuverability than normally seen, and they’re Greek inscriptions. John’s was gold, whilst Buffy was obsidian in colour.

It was the first time that their CO had acknowledged he was otherworldly. It was also a spectacular, the cousins cheated; they engaged a promise from the crowd before calling for Percy. His role was to shield the observers from the match. The match was stunning to behold, Sheppard called his lightning sword and Buffy her flaming scythe.

Cadman and Lorne walked in, and laughed upon seeing their respective other halves sparring. It was not the first time they had seen it. Cadman decided to put Lorne out of his misery; she had enjoyed his squirming but remembered that she actually liked him. “You need to relax about dinner. She loves you and that is all Hades will see.”

Lorne gave her a nervous grin, “I know that logically but then the words God of the Underworld rattle around my head.”

Cadman shrugged, “Can’t help you there. I was myself with Zeus and we bonded. He listened about the naquada, nuclear weapon I designed.”

Lorne shook his head in disbelief. No one could live his life, the aliens, saving the world was probably believable. Still, how do you put into words that your lover, and your best friend’s lover were Gods really?

The crowd instinctively ducked, when Buffy threw a fireball. John yelped, “Watch the hair!”

Buffy snickered, “I agree with Uncle Zeus it’s a life-form on its own.”

The soldiers watched on in fascination. The lesson, which had initially only been words was no reinforced with action. There were tougher beings but there and they needed to learn how to fight them. Thankfully for the SGC, the toughest two were actually fighting on their side.

Later that day, Lorne waited for a ride to the Underworld. Lorne had decided that the best way to keep his sanity was not to think too hard about it.

Buffy flamed into his quarters looking stunning in a Grecian style, white dress. “You ready?”

Lorne took a deep breath, “Yeah sure.”

In a blink Atlantis was replaced with an opulent palace. The whole place’s décor seemed to oscillate between rock-god and tasteful. He guessed it was the different touches of his and her, within the palace. Flames occasionally licked up the window panes but never ventured any further.

It was like the ultimate central heating he supposed. He met Buffy’s dad once again. No one, not even people in the Stargate Programme would believe that the God of the Underworld dressed like an aged rocker. It would just mess with their world view too much. Buffy though hugged her dad and warmly greeted her stepmother. Lorne took stock and in his head chanted that he loved Buffy and that is all that mattered.

Hades took one look at the very nervous Lorne and all but guffawed. He clicked his finger and two of the largest hellhounds appeared out of the shadows. Hades looked jolly at Lorne, “Right let’s get the threatening portion of the evening out of the way … I love Buffy, if you break her heart then I will feed Vicious and Idol you’re bones after Persephone and I are through with you.”

Buffy groaned, “Dad!”

Lorne was proud that he didn’t gulp, “I understand Sir. If I do break Buffy’s heart then I will deliver myself to you.”

Buffy flushed pleased and whilst she was a big badass and no one could doubt that. Her heart had taken quite a battering so the fact she was willing to risk it on Lorne humbled him. It was certainly not a gift that he would take lightly or be allowed to forget.

It turns out that Dinner was quite pleasant. Hades appreciated Lorne’s ability to be subtly evil. He was even more delighted, when he realised that these machinations were against his nephew. The women watched amused, as Hades all but dragged Lorne away to his ‘lair’ (study), to regale him with stories from before modern civilisation.

Persephone looked to her stepdaughter seeing how she was taking this turn of events. Persephone assumed by the mega-watt smile it was all good. “So is that a good thing?”

Buffy smirked, and no one could doubt who her father was, “Oh it’s good for me but bad for Johnny.”

Persephone couldn’t help but agree. She was glad that John, Buffy, Percy and Annabeth had all ascended – life amongst the Greek pantheon was certainly more interesting since the injection of fresh blood. Personally, she couldn’t wait to see what would happen once Lorne and John’s lover became part of the family. The fate sisters had inferred it was destined, but being big teases - they hadn’t said how they would affect the family.

Buffy had heard it all, and was ignoring it. She had learnt long ago to face each day as it comes. It was just a hell of a lot easier with a supportive family behind her.
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