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Hair She Is! (Blow Dry)

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This story is No. 10 in the series "Twisted Collection". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: Buffy needs her hair done, but this was definitely not how she wanted to go about it. ~Day Sixteen for August Fic-A-Day~

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Movies > Other-Comedy(Recent Donor)ConstanceTruggleFR71844051,13217 Aug 1217 Aug 12Yes
Title: Hair She Is!
Author: Constance Truggle
Fandom: Buffy/Blow Dry
Rating: FR7
Pairing: None
Summary: Buffy needs her hair done, but this was definitely not how she wanted to go about it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or Blow Dry. I wouldn't mind owning Alan Rickman, though.
Word Count: 828
Author's Note: I did my damnedest to keep out any and all spoilers for the movie Blow Dry. It's a frackin' hilarious movie, and if you haven't seen it then I suggest rectifying that right away. Also, timelines don't exist if I want this movie and this post-series Buffy to coexist peacefully.

Buffy was travelling through rural England, heading back to the London office from the castle in Dumbarton on a cross country slay trip. She was due to head over to America and meet some of the new superheroes over there with some government program called S.H.I.E.L.D., and had some last minute administrative things to clear up before she could. It had been a long few days and an even longer drive and she felt in the need for some pampering. She saw signs for something called the British Hair Championship and followed them to this little town called Keighley. Figurng that if they were having a competition, then somebody had to be able to do hair, she went there. Apparently she was just in time for the finale, as the models were introduced in entire costumes. She saw one girl that was presented as 'Still Life', and was in awe. Her hair resembled a two handled vase she'd seen at the castle, complete with flowers. This was hairdressing, this was hair sculpting! Buffy was in awe at the level of talent and creativity she saw. Each model was beautiful, with their hair done in ways Buffy would never have even imagined. But the good mood here was not to last, unfortunately. The building had mostly cleared out, but the final model's group was leaving when the demons attacked. Buffy sighed and set to work while the girls shrieked and the guys.. well, shrieked, too, actually.

“C'mon now! I know your species as a whole is pretty stupid, but can't you tell when the people have all left? You were, what? Going for the high of the crowd at the end of a competition? When the winners take home the gold? Seriously, don't you have watches or something?” she sighed as she went after a Chaos demon. “And can we say gross? Your slime and antler combination is so last season!”

The fight was good for her, though. Got rid of the excess energy sitting in the car had given her. But the bad side of it was that, aside from the Chaos demon, there was one that looked like a cockroach, another slime-type one and wow. Whatever it was, it was an incredibly lurid shade of orange. Just wow. But Buffy beat them all back, finally killing the last (the roach) and turning to find the group of people edging out of whatever room they had hid in. She gave them a smile and brushed her hair back from her face, a disgusted moue twisted her lips.

“Ugh!” She dropped her head back, staring at the ceiling for a moment before falling into a nearly defeated posture. “Why does the slime always get in my hair? Takes forever to wash out and leaves it dry for days! Now I'll have to postpone my meeting, which, let me tell you, is really going to piss off that superhero type they've got over in New York.” Buffy kept up a steady stream of nonsense as she herded the group ahead of her, alert for any more demons. Once outside and far enough down the street that she deemed them safe, she stopped. “And thanks for listening! Get home safely, okay? And can you tell me where I can find a hotel?”

“You can't,” the older man said. “They're all full up right now.”

“Well, crap! I guess I'll head to the next town then. Umm... going south, how far is the next town?”

The two older women exchanged looks that apparently said a lot more to them than to Buffy as the blonde spoke up.

“You can stay with us. I'm sure we can do something about your hair, too.”

“Really? No, I can't do that! It wouldn't be right. But thank you so much for the offer!” See, Giles? All those little lectures you gave me on being polite finally paid off, she thought smugly.

But her refusal was shot down, and soon enough she was ensconced with the younger girl. Surprisingly, she was an American, too. From Minnesota. She offered Buffy a change of clothes, but the slayer had that covered. She didn't drive across the entire United Kingdom without anything to wear, after all. So she had a shower that took forever due to the slime, and she was in her pajamas and Shelley was currently giving her a conditioning treatment to get back the shine that the slime took out. It amazed her that, after all these years of slaying, she still cared enough to turn into that entitled California princess when her hair got messed with. But she liked these people, and she decided that if she ever had to go through the middle of the UK again, she would stop in Keighley and give this little salon her patronage. And she would tell everyone she knew about the amazing stylists at The Cut Above.

The End

You have reached the end of "Hair She Is! (Blow Dry)". This story is complete.

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