Summers Household

Title: When Kate Met Buffy
Author: JoeHundredaire (joehundredaire@tthfanfic.org)
Rating: R/FR18
Disclaimer: Right, I actually went and checked to be sure this time… Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel: the Series, and all associated characters belong to Fran and Kaz Kuzui. With a myriad of writers, artists, and editors, actual rights are a nightmare when you go near a comic book universe. Suffice it to say that Marvel Entertainment LLC owns all of the property printed in their comics, along with the television and movie adaptations of said same property. Not mine, don't sue, and so forth and so on.
Summary: "So, between the awkward silence and confused look, I'm guessing Buffy didn't tell you about our date tonight?"
Joe's Note: While the events of Blue Belle conspire to ensure that Buffy has a minimal presence in the story, she is still in Sunnydale. She just doesn't intersect much with the lives of the Cordettes on account of, you know, her enmity with Cordelia and Harmony as well as 'not knowing' Michelle. Well, that and Michelle made a bad first impression on her, so she's not really in a hurry to change the latter. All that being said, she's still a Slayer and on the Hellmouth, so she is up to stuff. What stuff? This stuff!


December 9, 2011
Summers Household
Sunnydale, California


     "Hello?"

     "Hi! You must be Joyce. Do you mind if I call you Joyce? Buffy's told me so much about you that I feel like I already know you."

     Frowning, Buffy peeked her head around the corner and peered down the stairs at where her mother was standing in front of the open door, shaking hands with a brunette girl who looked as unfamiliar as she sounded. While the girl could have been one of her classmates… Buffy was pretty sure she wasn't. Or at least not one she'd talked to, well, ever. So who was she, why was she here, how much did she know, and-

     "So, between the awkward silence and confused look, I'm guessing Buffy didn't tell you about our date tonight?"

     Wait, what?

     Stunned into silence, Buffy watched as her mom shook her head before stepping back, gesturing for the girl to enter the house. And as the brunette stepped into better light, Buffy became very, very sure that the girl was someone she'd never seen before in her life. Not just at school, either. Anywhere. Ever. Because in her experience, very few people her age had wildly varying wardrobes… and if this girl was showing up for a date in dark purple leather pants, a matching sleeveless top with an arrow-like design in a lighter shade of purple on the front, and combat boots? The rest of her clothes were probably just as eye-catching, and not the sort of thing Buffy would forget seeing around somewhere.

     Suddenly, Buffy felt a spike of fear. While her mother hadn't invited the girl in, the Slayer was pretty sure that rule didn't apply when it came to demons or human scum like Willy who associated with her slayees of their own free will. Just because their guest looked like a girl in her late teens didn't mean she wasn't a trained killer, or an immortal demon, or- "No. No she didn't, Miss..?"

     "Bishop. Kate Bishop." Kate grinned widely as Joyce gasped, making Buffy wonder what she was missing. "Yes, that Kate Bishop. I have to be in San Francisco tomorrow to represent my family at some dinner being held at the Palace Hotel, and decided to stop in and see what Chula Vista offered for facilities. Sung-Hyun gave me a run for my money in Beijing; I need to step up my game if I'm going to repeat in London next summer, you know? Decided to hire a car to drive me up the coast instead of flying from San Diego to San Fran. Started regretting that bright idea about two hours in when we got stuck in traffic on the 101… but I wouldn't have been able to drop by if I'd flown." Head turning back and forth, Kate scanned the living room several times before letting her eyes slowly run up the stairs to land on Buffy, offering the blonde a wink before turning her attention back to Joyce. "So, is she almost ready? I mean, I don't really have a time limit because the livery company doesn't care as long as they get paid, but it's nearly six hours from here to my hotel and so I probably shouldn't be here all night…"

     Now Buffy was really confused. Kate was famous? Or at least famous enough that her mom recognized Kate's name? After all, how famous could she possibly be if Buffy had never heard of her? Still, did that mean Kate was a famous demon? Or a famous person who liked demons? Or… Buffy thought back to her recent Facebook posts. She hadn't insulted Kate or something, had she? Wait. She had no idea who Kate was. She didn't know any Kates period, come to think of it. And what kind of celebrity would freak out over something a random person posted online and show up at their door? Then maybe… random celebrity stalker? Weren't normal people supposed to stalk celebrities, though, and not the other way around?

     And she should probably go downstairs before her mom came upstairs looking for her. Maybe she could actually get some answers to her questions that way, too. Clearing her throat to announce her presence, Buffy pasted on a smile as she slowly descended the stairs. So, this weird Kate girl wanted to put her on the spot by spinning a web of lies? Hah! Buffy had been lying to almost everyone in her life on a daily basis since she'd been Called. Two could play at that game. "Kate! You're here! A week early, I think. I thought that dinner you were telling me about was next Saturday?"

     "That'll happen when you don't actually pay attention to what I'm telling you, sweetie." Holding her hand up to her mouth, Kate leaned in towards Joyce as she stage whispered to the older blonde. "If you think this is bad, you should see what I have to go through to actually get her on Skype. I gave up and switched to planning everything in Pacific time months ago, and she's still late half the time."

     Okay, not cool. For someone supposedly here for a date, this Kate girl seemed to have a thing for wanting to make her look bad. Buffy grit her teeth and, probably misinterpreting the tension between the two, Joyce let out a nervous chuckle. "Your first date since that Owen boy back in March! How exciting! I'm going to go get the camera. And… I think I took the memory card out the other day to see what was on it. Oh, and it probably needs some fresh batteries, too. Be right back."

     As Joyce hurried off toward the kitchen, Buffy thundered down the last few stairs, watching and waiting for the door to close behind her mother before rounding on Kate. But before she could get a word out, the brunette was reaching out and grabbing her, pulling her into a tight hug. Buffy's first instinct was to fight Kate off, still not sure who - or what - the girl was but the words whispered into her ear caused her to abruptly still. "I'm not here to hurt you, Buffy, but it does have to do with your night job. Since you can't be honest with your mom, we have to do this the hard way. Either smile and play along, or my next words to Joyce are 'Into every generation, there is a chosen one'. Your choice."

     Buffy blanched. That was the absolute last thing she needed. The first time she'd told her mom, it had ended up destroying her parents' marriage and she'd spent close to a month of her life in an institution. Granted she'd slain Rakagore and saved some girls while there, but still. A month of her life. Gone. There was no telling how her mother might react if the subject came up again. And so while she found Kate's plan distasteful - not that there was anything wrong with being like that, but she wasn't - it was the lesser of two evils.

     Besides, it was the only way she was going to get answers. Short of throwing down with the girl right here in the entryway, which would end about as well as telling her mom she was the Slayer again. Which was to say not at all well. Damn it. Scowling, Buffy brought her hands up and pushed against Kate's shoulders. "Fine. But no tongue. That's not the kind of thing my mom needs to see, and-"

     "Did you leave the bleach in too long or something? What part of 'cover story' are you not getting? This is a means to an end, nothing more. And these means do not require me to kiss you tonight. At all." Kate let out a snort as she pulled away, keeping one arm around Buffy's waist and her eyes trained on the kitchen door as they waited for Joyce to return. "Trust me, if I wasn't being ordered to do this? I wouldn't touch you with a ten-foot pole. I may go both ways, but you're about ten IQ points and a Big Mac or three away from being the type of girl I'm into. Not to mention the whole vampire kissing thing. Seriously, Buffy, what the hell is wrong with you?"

     …she really needed to learn to keep her mouth closed, Buffy decided. Because she wasn't even into girls and she was getting shot down by them on a semi-regular basis.