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Future Trauma

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Summary: When the endangered animal Planet Express is delivering gets loose, and whole cities begin dying at once on the planet Doom, Leela, Fry, & Bender must rely on help from the Doctor, who might be -- horror of horrors! -- a better thief and liar than Bender!

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Dr. Who/Torchwood > Non-BtVS/Ats Stories
Cartoons > Futurama
ShoshiFR131025,3273284,05122 Aug 1210 Sep 12Yes

Prologue

Author's Note: Why am I posting this here? I have no idea. Probably because I've posted so many comments about it in my Buffy/Doctor crossover fics. It's not going to match up with "Something", so really, there's no reason to read it.

Except that it's funny. And my last few stories have been really depressing.

(If people get mad, I'll take it down.)

If you have never seen Futurama, you should still be able to follow this story.

If you have never seen Doctor Who, you should still be able to follow this story.

Enjoy!

I hold no rights over any copyrighted material. All characters and creations belong to their original owners. The fandoms that I am using are: Doctor Who and Futurama.

(Thank you to Muadzin, Wonderbee31, and a special thank you to Jimmy Collins, who all helped me make this story funny! Special thanks for the Brick Joke!)

--000--

"Good news, everyone!" cried Professor Hubert Farnsworth as he paraded into the Planet Express conference room. "We've been hired to make a slightly illegal and morally questionable delivery to the Planet Doom in the Galaxy of Horrors."

"Been there, done that," snapped Bender, putting his legs up on the table.

"Galaxy of Horrors?" asked Fry. "That sounds scary."

"Oh, it's not so bad," said Amy Wong. "There's this great nail salon on the Planet Flaming Death, and the Planet Blood-Curdling Screams has some of the most amazing clothing boutiques you could imagine."

Fry shuddered. He thought the galaxy was sounding more and more horrifying by the minute.

"So, what's the delivery?" asked Leela. She leaned back in her seat, crossing her arms over her chest, and giving the Professor a pointed look with her single large eye.

The Professor stepped back, nearly stumbling over the green slippers he wore, and in one overdramatic gesture, he yanked a large white sheet off of a large wooden crate. "Behold!" he shouted.

The employees of the Planet Express Delivery Company beheld.

"So?" asked Leela.

The Professor looked back at Leela, suddenly disoriented. "Wha?"

"So what's in the crate?" Leela clarified.

Professor Farnsworth waved the question away. "Oh, I don't know. Some carnivorous endangered animal or something."

Bender suddenly perked up at the news. "Endangered animal you say?" he asked, the gears of his electronic robot-mind suddenly teaming with black-market possibilities and strategies.

"Professor!" protested Leela. "You can't just kidnap an endangered animal and then sell it off to the highest bidder! No matter how carnivorous it is."

"Leela, not all animals are cuddly and cute like Nibbler," said Fry. "Some animals have big pointy teeth and huge appetites. Like Nibbler."

"Nothing is wrong with Nibbler," Leela insisted.

Bender, in the meantime, was measuring the crate, trying to assess it for weak spots and ways of breaking in. Despite being made out of wood, the crate was surprisingly sturdy, and Bender was trying to decide whether he had time to nip out and steal a better crowbar.

"If this animal's dangerous, do you think it will get out maybe?" asked Zoidberg. "That crate doesn't look too strong. And look! Someone left some peanut butter on Amy's shoe!" He waddled over to Amy's shoe, and started sucking on it.

"Yech!" said Amy, as she kicked off her shoe.

"It's stronger than you think," said Professor Farnsworth. "It's made of a new synthetic kind of wood that's so strong and impenetrable, nobody understands how it works. In fact, the scientists suspected to have made it were burned at the stake for witchcraft."

"Wow," said Amy. "That's pretty intense."

"Oh, my, yes!" said Professor Farnsworth, licking his lips. "Best barbecue I've been to in years!"

"I didn't think we did illegal deliveries since that time we moonlighted as a taxi-service for the Robo-Hooker-Planet," said Leela.

"Normally we don't," Professor Farnsworth agreed, "but these clients offered me something I've been looking for my entire life!" He reached into his lab-coat pocket, and produced a slip of paper. "Behold! A jump-the-line card for the DMV!"

"Wow!" said everyone at Planet Express.

--000--

FUTURAMA

The show that no longer endorses the poaching of endangered animals!
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