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Xander And Kennedy, Where Are You!

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This story is No. 25 in the series "The Great Scooby Scavenger Hunt". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: Mystery, Inc., check. Creepy monster problem, check. Remote location, check. Clues, check. Chase, check. Villain captured and unmasked, check. Last line, definite check! No. 24 of August Fic-A-Day.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Cartoons > Scooby Doo(Current Donor)ManchesterFR1513,294161,49524 Aug 1224 Aug 12Yes
Disclaimer: I own nothing. All Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters and Scooby Doo, Where Are You! characters are the property of their original owners.

“Me, I could never figure out why they always missed the zipper on the back,” marveled Kennedy while she helped Xander strip an unconscious stranger. That mentioned little metal fastener was easy enough to see, even in the flickering light of a pair of old-fashioned oil lanterns hanging on the far cellar wall.

Squatting down to yank off the lower half of a swamp monster costume, a preoccupied Xander just shrugged in his crouching position without saying anything. He looked up at Kennedy easily holding upright off the floor her insensible captive by her hands under his armpits. The bare feet of this recently-clobbered older man now wearing only a swimsuit dangled limply a few inches above a pile of greenish-glowing clothing lying on the basement floor. This strange illumination was the result of phosphorescence paint daubed all over this attire’s sewn-on scales.

Cautiously straightening up, the top of Xander’s head almost brushed the ceiling’s wooden beams. There wasn’t all that much clearance in their hiding place under the decaying Southern mansion by a Louisiana marsh. Regardless, this remote place was the scene of the latest case taken on by the teenage adventurers known as Mystery, Inc.

Opening his mouth to reply to Kennedy, Xander hastily closed it again when faint creaking noises suddenly came from overhead. Simultaneously tilting back their heads, both New Council members stared up at faint trickles of dust advancing across the ceiling. These were tracing the footsteps where four humans and one canine were cautiously searching tonight for the unearthly creature known as Alligator Al. The sound of muffled voices came drifting downwards for a few moments. These wary tones soon stopped when the people in the house’s main hallway split up to go off on their own into the spooky, totally dark, other rooms of the crumbling mansion which had been whispered about for years as being haunted by a half-man, half-reptile.

A very cynical expression now upon his scarred features, Xander lifted an eyebrow at where Kennedy was nodding back in her own weary resignation. She sighed to her companion concerning what she’d just listened to with her Slayer hearing, “Yeah, Fred suggested they’d cover more ground in separate groups.”

Face-palming himself, Xander growled in real exasperation, “Even when I was six years old, that idea always sounded really dumb to me! You don’t suppose it’s how this specific horror movie cliché got started in the first place? Just about every director and writer of slasher flicks in the last couple decades had to have watched an episode of ‘Scooby-Doo, Where Are You!’ and it must’ve stuck in their tiny little minds!”

Smirking at her irritated game partner, Kennedy reminded him, “Hey, it’s not like any single one of those cartoons were different from all the others, except for the locations and the dumb villains, Xander. It’ll still make it easier for us, you know.”

A very evil grin abruptly came into existence on Xander’s countenance. Clearly, his annoyed mood had brightened considerably after hearing this. He sniggered, “Oh, yeah, you can say that again! Let’s get started.”

Sending in return an identical wicked smile at her partner in crime for tonight, Kennedy stepped over to the side while still holding onto her out-cold captive, who hadn’t stirred the slightest throughout their recent discussion. Glancing around, the Slayer noted a likely-looking spot along the basement right wall, where a heap of rotting junk included some scraps of rope and other rags. Heading there, a few minutes’ work found their prisoner securely hog-tied, blindfolded, and gagged. This unfortunate man was then dragged over by the side of the cellar stairs and left there, with a dusty, tattered tablecloth casually tossed over him. Feeling a proud sense of satisfaction at the completion of her assigned task, Kennedy turned around to look at the center of the basement.

There, balefully peering through the eye-holes of a full-head alligator mask, a glowing figure growled and clawed at the air with taloned hands. It then began menacingly lurching towards the young woman. The only reaction done by Kennedy in response to this was to swiftly bring out her video camera from her pocket. Starting to film everything, the Slayer enthusiastically said, “Do that again, Xander! Willow and the rest are going to love every bit of it!”

Never one to let down his girls, Alligator Al posed, flexed, and shook his adorable cold-blooded booty for them, whipping back and forth at will his attached tail with its bony plates.

Kennedy kept on filming despite her continuous giggles, until Xander reluctantly ended the fun by coming to a standstill. A stifled chuckle drifted out from between the mask’s open jaws with their big, white, pointed teeth. This was followed by, “Okay, Ken, time for the main event! Go up and check it out. I’ll be right behind.”

Putting away her camera and taking a quick moment to wipe away a tear of delight, Kenned grinned at the radiant man in his completely ridiculous costume. Nodding in acceptance, the Slayer walked past the unmoving lump under the tablecloth which was their prisoner. Arriving at the cellar stairs, she went up these. Pausing to push up and back the trapdoor at the top, Kennedy ascended the last few steps. She found herself in a small cloakroom which had hidden this secret passage down to the basement. Leaving the trapdoor open, the woman carefully listened with her superhuman hearing. Good, everyone else out there were in their rooms on the first floor, in all cases still carrying out their futile searches. To be sure, Kennedy pulled the cloakroom door open a crack, and she peeked out through this gap.

The main hallway, reaching from the front entrance with the cloakroom by this to the central staircase at the far end, was completely deserted. Some of the doors to the rooms lining the sides of the hallway were open, showing where Fred, Shaggy, Daphne, Scooby-Doo, and Velma had entered those areas. Continuing to keep a close watch there, Kennedy heard Xander laboriously make his way up the cellar stairs, trying not to trip over his tail during this. At last succeeding, this man now waiting behind her whispered into his friend’s ear, “Any problems?”

“Nope,” snickered Kennedy, squeezing to the side while tugging the door fully ajar after herself. She reached out to pat her companion’s scaly back, encouragingly telling the luminous-green figure passing by her side while exiting the cloakroom, “Have fun, Xander.”

“Damn straight!” exultantly came from a phosphorescent snout. This reptile’s muzzle turned towards Kennedy cramming her knuckles into her mouth to keep from shrieking with laughter when Xander archly asked, “Wanna bet I meet Scooby and Shaggy first?”

Kennedy just snorted. “Are you kidding me? Everything that’s going to happen next will be more stylized than a Japanese Noh play! There’s no other way we could do this!”

The alligator head eagerly nodded, and Xander then shuffled forward to stand in the center of the main hallway. Pausing to hold out his arms in their taloned gloves at chest level in proper monster-threatening fashion, he started again, shambling down the passage towards one very specific room. Soon enough, a costumed New Council member went through an open doorway, and he vanished into the darkness there.

During this, Kennedy shut the door again save for a mere crack once more. The Slayer also took out her video camera and held it up to her face through the gap where it could film the resulting events. A few seconds later, what she’d been expected then rang throughout the entire mansion, causing cobwebs everywhere to vibrate.


The panicked scream, combining a human screech of pure fear and a cowardly canine’s terrified howl, was followed by a beatnik dude and a Great Dane frantically sprinting out of their room into the main hallway, with Alligator Al in close pursuit. This running reptile was also swiping with his claws at the exposed necks of his chosen prey for tonight.

Speedily attracted by this, Fred, Daphne, and Velma appeared in the doorways of their own rooms, and they stared in shock at finding out there really was a swamp monster…and it was coming at full throttle in their direction! With loud yells of alarm, the only three people in their little group who weren’t obsessed with Scooby Snacks hastily backpedaled, only to be immediately followed into their rooms by Shaggy, Scooby-Doo, and Alligator Al seemingly in the famished mood to devour right this second every trespasser in his lair. Especially the dog.

For the next several minutes, a maniac chase scene punctuated with numerous sight gags took place in the lower floor of the mansion. Across the main hallway, the various cartoon characters recklessly ran in and out of the rooms, with all of them at one time or the other at the front or rear of the pursuit of Alligator Al. Whose own constant, happy snarls indicated this man-beast was having a truly wonderful time.

Kennedy, in between her own endless chortles while filming it all, couldn’t help envying Xander. Unfortunately, there’d been no chance whatsoever of the costume being able to fit the Slayer. There was one advantage for not actually joining in tonight’s fun and games, though: she got to watch Velma Dinkley. Or to be more specific, this girl’s sublime ass.

Oh, that redhead’s rack was also fine and dandy, developing an impressive wobbling action throughout all of Velma’s flat-out run. Kennedy, however, had always been an admirer of a good, solid, feminine butt, and she had the firm conviction you could bounce quarters off what was hidden beneath the swishing brown skirt worn by a woman with glasses. Not that Willow didn’t have her personal, delectable, creamy-white bottom which she was always happy to share with her lover. Nevertheless, ever since childhood when she’d known her own sex, rather than the opposite one, would be her permanent choice, Kennedy treasured the naughty thoughts of what she’d love to do to the lower portion of someone whose favorite catchphrase was--


You just had to respect a young lady with steel-hard gluteus muscles. How else could Velma hold up on her shoulders an entire human pyramid consisting of Fred, Daphne, Shaggy, Scooby-Doo, and Alligator Al as she presently staggered down the hallway towards the mansion’s central staircase? Of course, this ended in that sweater-wearing female’s alarmed exclamation at the exact moment when she tripped over the rug lying in front of the stairs.

Scooby-Doo had his own, more-pressing problems then. Just before this animal started falling forward with the others being carried by that clumsy human lower down, the Great Dane had only then realized he and his master were borne along together at the apex of the pyramid while cradled in a pair of glowing-green arms connected to a pet-eating monster.

The tremendous crash made by a couple of plummeting people onto the upper landing of the staircase shook the whole house. Yet another chase ensued, with a now-panting reptile gamely completing a circuit around the second floor corridor after Shaggy and Scooby-Doo. Who both threw their close friendship entirely to the winds at demonstrating with each other throughout this the maxim, ‘It’s not who’s fastest, it’s who’s slowest that gets munched upon.’

Kennedy made sure to get on film the bannister slide from the upper floor by all three descending participants which mowed down the other trio, before reluctantly tearing herself away.

Using every bit of her Slayer speed, she crammed the video camera into her pocket, dropped through the trapdoor, and leapt across the basement to where the lanterns were hanging on the far wall. Two quick puffs of breath extinguished the lantern flames and turned the cellar into pitch dark. Kennedy rushed back to the foot of the stairs to the upper house, urged along by the thunderous noise of a local stampede approaching the cloakroom. That room’s half-open door allowed a mere fraction of illumination to shine down from above, but it was all the woman’s superhuman eyesight needed at the moment.

Grabbing the dusty tablecloth, Kennedy ripped it off from the guy on the cellar floor who for his own weird reasons had been dressing up as Alligator Al, until two new Council members dropped in unannounced tonight. The Slayer continued to hold the dangling tablecloth in her left hand, using the other to effortlessly snap their captive’s bonds and yank away the blindfold and gag from this man now stirring into consciousness from his unexpected rough treatment. Kennedy wasn’t too worried about that, given how a tumbling ball of flesh and bone consisting of about a half-dozen people and one dog, all helplessly intermixed with each other and yelling at the tops of their lungs, now bounced down the cellar stairs and landed on the basement floor with a bruising ‘Thud!’ sound effect.

With perfect timing, Kennedy wove through the near-total gloom which blinded everyone but her among the scattered bodies lying on the ground where they’d come to a dazed rest. Stooping over her chosen victim, Kennedy swiftly wrapped and tied the tablecloth she’d been holding around a Great Dane’s head. Scooby-Doo immediately yelped at this unexpected contact, only to next start uncontrollably sneezing due to the dust from the tablecloth getting up his sensitive nose. Knowing the sole cartoon character in the basement able to detect a stranger’s presence now wouldn’t be able to see, hear or smell her, Kennedy stepped towards a glowing form lying on his stomach and softly groaning under his breath at having the wind knocked out of him.

Crouching down, Kennedy patted Xander’s shoulder in their pre-arranged signal, and he went totally still, smirking despite his recent bruises. This man now felt his mask being tugged off, and he inwardly snickered at the sudden whimper of sheer fright coming from other there when Kennedy tossed her trophy onto Fred’s chest. This leader of Mystery, Inc. on his back hastily batted away what seemed to be a decapitated head, making a glowing object fly across the room and land next to Shaggy, who didn’t handle this very well, either.

The mask covered with phosphoresce continued to bounce back and forth among the younger people in the room, all of them preferring someone besides them to be the one dealing with it. During this little game of pass-the-monster-head and various loud expressions of disgust, the even noisier sounds of a dog miserably sneezing at full blast echoed throughout the basement.

Glancing over to see through the gloom the big canine was futilely pawing at the ragged cloth still covering his head, Kennedy went back to work. She rapidly undressed Xander out of his costume (grinning to herself that this was the first and silliest time in her life to take off a guy’s clothes all on her own). As for the other New Council member, he stayed limp throughout this, letting Kennedy do all the work since only she could see what needed to be done. Sure enough, once the costume was completely removed, Xander felt himself being lifted with ease off the floor and carried away, to then be gently laid down upon the bottom treads of the cellar stairs.

Again following their plan worked out earlier, Xander crawled up the stairs on his hands and knees. Which was all the exhausted man could do, really. He concentrated on this, knowing Kennedy would be finishing up behind him.

Indeed, the Slayer had just grabbed hold of their wakeful prisoner, who instantly howled in bewilderment at finding himself being manhandled in absolute darkness. Continuing to yell threats and demands at whoever was holding him in an unbreakable grip, this older man eventually attracted the startled attention of the others in the cellar by his very familiar voice.

Dropping what he’d finally realized to be a mask for concealing someone’s identity, Fred instantly declared in his carrying tone, “That’s Professor Throckmorton! He’s got to be the one who’s been scaring people away from here! Get him, guys, before he escapes!”

Even in the basement murkiness, the jerking motion of a phosphorescent costume seemingly trying to get up and away were clearly discernable. Actually, it was all due to Kennedy effortlessly stuffing her struggling captive into the glowing clothes. Looking over this still-shouting man’s shoulder, the Slayer decided she’d done as much as was necessary, and she yanked hard on the right arm of what’s-his-name, aiming him in the proper direction before suddenly letting go. Taken again by surprise, the man three-quarters into his handmade scaled costume staggered forward a few steps, only to fall over something.

Finally getting off what’d been on his head, Scooby-Doo scrambled around on all four paws, and he eagerly sank his sharp teeth deep into the leg of that nasty human who’d dared treat him so badly! A scream of real pain carrying throughout the basement was at once followed by double whoops of triumph when Fred and Shaggy piled onto their latest villain and started thoroughly pummeling him.

Daphne and Velma stood uncertainly in the cellar darkness, not daring to move until they were sure things were genuinely over and done with. Neither of them were aware of the other woman silently ghosting up behind a certain redhead. At least, not until a piercing feminine shriek stabbed into everyone’s ears, causing the four thrashing figures on the basement floor to freeze together in shared shock. Even Professor Throckmorton momentarily forgot his multiple bruises, contusions, and animal bites at hearing Velma Dinkley angrily screech at her full volume: “WHO DID THAT?!”

Actually, Xander now tiredly staggering onto his feet in the main hallway knew very well who. It was his Slayer. What he was hesitant to ask about, seeing how evil the grin now on Kennedy’s face when she slipped out of the cloakroom and slung his arm over her shoulder to help him up the central staircase where they’d hide in the upper floors, was exactly what his game partner had just done down there.

As for Kennedy herself, she gloried in the remembrance of the magnificent firmness she’d felt when her exploring fingers had gripped and squeezed a pair of fabulous buttocks. There was no way she’d ever have passed up the chance, not when it’d never happen again. Needless to say, Kennedy would still have to confess everything to her lover, and uncomplainingly submit to the discipline she owned to Mistress Willow for her recent transgression… Oooo, yes!

About a half hour later, two people carefully keeping themselves concealed behind one of the outlooking windows on the second floor of the mansion watched and listened to what was taking place below on the overgrown front lawn. Xander and Kennedy (who was again filming everything) had just heard a bandaged professor grumpily confess to Mystery, Inc. and the summoned cops that he’d been searching for a Civil War treasure rumored to be hidden somewhere in the house and its grounds. To keep everyone else away, Alligator Al had been created, and it’d worked for years, until…

Stopping to brood for a few moments about a very confusing night, Professor Throckmorton finally burst out in his utter annoyance to everyone in the vicinity, “And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids and your stupid dog!"

Without even looking, a side-by-side Kennedy and Xander lifted up their arms and they faultlessly high-fived each other.

The End

You have reached the end of "Xander And Kennedy, Where Are You!". This story is complete.

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