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Freakin' Amateurs

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Summary: Set in Season Six of Supernatural Episode : Like a Virgin. Sam and Dean attempt to rescue the virgins from the dragons, but end up needing rescuing themselves.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Supernatural > General(Recent Donor)noturbabyFR1319650793631 Aug 1231 Aug 12Yes
Set in Season Six of Supernatural Episode : Like a Virgin

Freakin' Amateurs

Because Alpha creatures are being hunted, some dragons are trying to open a door to purgatory to release their 'mother' Eve. The dragons are tired of the angels and demons trying to force the apocalypse, they are tired of being hunted and they need their mommy to put an end to it.

However, the dragons made the mistake of snatching a few girls that were destined for greatness. Their abduction sent shock waves through the underground network of people who investigate the paranormal.



In Portland, Oregon, young, teenage girls have been reported missing. Sadly, it's practically an everyday occurrence, but a few details stand out to Sam Winchester. He finally convinced his brother to investigate and they learn all of the missing girls are virgins.

Sam and Dean have tracked the dragons to Portland's sewer system. With the sword of Bruncvik, Sam was able to kill one of the dragons. However, the second dragon knocked Dean unconscious and tossed the hunter into an iron bar cage, far from the virgins. In a panic over his brother, Sam is quickly unarmed by a third dragon and is thrown into the cage as well.

~*~*~*~

Several hours after the Winchesters were locked in the dragon's lair...

Some of the girls in the next 'cage' were whimpering, a few were crying and a few could be heard praying. Sam and Dean Winchester were speechless; watching in awe as two women, neither of whom came up to Dean's shoulder in height, beheaded the dragons with ease.

"You get that side, I'll take this one," the blond said as they separated to break the locks on the cages holding the girls.

Each lock crumbled to pieces, when struck with their battle axes. Once all the girls were released, the blond said, "All right, those of you who had been on your way to Cleveland, come with me. The rest of you, don't worry. We will lead you to the surface. The local authorities will be here soon."

Behind the locked door of their cell at the far end of the dragons' sewer dwelling, the Winchesters exchanged looks. "Hey, what about us?" Sam shouted before Dean had a chance to say anything.

The brunette turned to the cell holding the brothers and gave them an appraising once over. "Yo, B, check it out. Looks like the dragons caught themselves two giant boy virgins," she said with a smirk.

"We're not virgins," Dean grumbled as the blond joined the other girl.

The first girl raised her ax to break their lock when the blond stopped her. "Who are you guys? What are you doing here?"

"I'm Sam Winchester and this is my brother, Dean. We were trying to stop those guys... the uh, dragons from uh-"

The women didn't hide their shock. "Winchester? Sam and Dean Winchester?" the blond repeated.

Dean's expression became smug considering he was still locked in the dragons' cage. "You've heard of us."

"Oh, we've heard of you," the brunette replied, resting her ax on its handle. "Maybe we should keep you two in there. Keep you from causing any more trouble."

"What? What are you talking about? We're not trouble," Dean argued but he faltered on the last few words.

The women snorted. "Right. So you're not the Winchesters from the Ghostfacers website."

"No," Sam replied. "Well, technically yes, but not really."

"And you're not the Winchesters who opened the Devil's gate?"

"We didn't open it," Dean began to explain, but the second woman cut him off.

"You didn't stop it from opening either."

"Well, see, we -"

"Let Lucifer out of his cage," the other woman stated.

"Yeah, but we -"

"Started a civil war in heaven."

"That wasn't us. Really. It was -"

"Next you're going to tell me you're not the guys hunting the alphas."

Neither Winchester had a response.

"Damn. Ed and Harry were right about you guys. What a couple of douchebags." Shaking her head she added, "I don't know, Buf, maybe we should leave them in there."

'Buf' nodded. "What are you doing in a dragon's lair with a bunch of virgins? And if you say anything even remotely skeevy, I will make sure she leaves you in that cage."

The brothers silently debated whether to divulge their 'secret' but since being left in a cell trumped feeling superior, Sam answered, "The dragons were going to use one of the virgins to open a door to purgatory."

"We were trying to stop it," Dean added.

With a nod of her head, the lock was ordered broken. "Thanks," the brothers mumbled.

"Why don't you boys run along and leave the saving of the world to those of us who know what we're doing?" she said once they were out of the sewer. "Freakin' amateurs."

Tired of being treated like an idiot, Dean growled, "Listen, sister -"

The next moment Dean found himself pinned to a tree, and held off the ground by the woman who was half his size.

"No, you listen," she growled. "I'm sick of cleaning up your messes. Every few months it's something else. Let the professionals do their job and stay the hell our of our way." She released him and he fell to the ground in a heap.

Still glaring at him she added, "Tell Crowley and that angel of yours to stop the search for purgatory or he'll have to deal with me."

Nodding, Sam helped Dean to his feet and asked, "Right, we will. Who are you?"

"I'm the Slayer."



Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

The End

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