Title: It's a WHAT?
Summary: One sees the strangest things when one lives on a
Disclaimers: I don't own Xander, Giles or Faith. Nor do I have
anything to do with the song mentioned in the punchline.
Spoilers: Season Three, before Faith went bad. It's a night when
Buffy is Oz-sitting while Willow's hacking into the Coroner's
Office, leaving Giles, Faith and Xander to see something...odd.
** ** **
"My word," Giles proclaimed, staring at the creature hovering
in the skies above Sunnydale, "I had thought they were extinct."
The entity was mostly human in appearance with the noticeable
exceptions of its lavender skin color; the horn jutting out from the
top of its skull; the single eye in the center of its forehead and
the huge bat-like wings it was flapping to keep itself aloft. In
its right hand it held a guitar case. Its left hand was clutching
"Wicked," Faith whispered. "It's wearing short-shorts. And
check out its package."
The being flew closer to the trio, stopping when it was only
five feet away. "Excuse me," it asked in a squeaky, high-pitched
voice that reminded Xander of either Alvin from the Chipmunks or
that guy with the bushy hair and beard from the Bee Gees (He just
couldn't decide which it resembled more), "can you tell me where the
nearest open mike cover bar is?"
"Sure," Xander told the thing. "It's called Cavillo's. Just
fly off to your right until you reach the interstate. Then go north
to exit 215 and it's right next to the truck stop off the exit ramp."
"The Creator's light forever shine on your spirit, young
human," it told him before flying off according to his directions.
"OK, G. What the hell was THAT?" Faith asked.
"Yes, well. The, ah, long and more accurate form of the name
would be Zhatakt-zhanackt-utneshziyana-raknrol-emnimeniana."
Both Xander and Faith turned to look at Giles with disbelief in
"Would there be an English version of that?" Xander asked.
"Quite. I believe the proper translation would be a "One-eyed,
one-horned, bless-my-soul, rock-and-roll, flying purple-people
Xander turned back to watch the creature fly away and
sighed. "What a sight to see."