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Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of Twilight and I am not making any profit from this.
You know it's been a weird day when you're laying in your bed imagining what your boyfriend's father is like in bed.
You know it's been the weirdest day ever if your boyfriend and his father are century old vampires and you're seriously considering finding out.
The day started out as normally as any other. At around 6 am, I awoke to find Edward softly stroking my hair. He kissed me chastely before whispering "good morning" in my ear. Shortly after we said our good-byes while I got up and got ready for school, just like any other day.
Only today wasn't any other day. No, today was my birthday. I should have known better, I really should have. I should have pretended to be sick because after arriving at school, I was informed that I was being thrown a birthday party by the Cullens.
"It's just going to be us, Bella. Stop worrying so much, it'll be so much fun!" Alice had told me.
Yeah, fun. It turned out to be a disaster, not that I'm surprised.
It all happened so fast. While unwrapping a gift, I had managed to injure myself. Of course. Just a simple paper cut but it didn't matter. It was blood, and Jasper wanted it. Immediately after, Edward, my hero, throws me against a wall and then there was more blood. It was enough blood to drive all of the Cullens away. Everyone except for Carlisle.
Then the bad got worse.
I like Carlisle, don't get me wrong. He's kind, sensitive, and he didn't want to kill me, which was a big plus in my book. The problem was that I had major qualms about being alone with the man who I considered to be the most attractive person alive. Well, technically dead. I had managed to avoid being alone with Carlisle since day one. When I first met him in the hospital, Charlie had been right next to me the entire time, not to mention the other staff that had been milling around, tending to patients. Afterwards, my interactions with him had come to a screeching halt and would stay that way as long as I kept myself out of the hospital. Problem solved.
Or it was solved, right up until shortly after Edward and I started dating. Before it could even fully register, I seemed to spend more time at the Cullen home than I did at my own. At least that's how it felt. It also seemed like Carlisle wasn't working at the hospital anymore. He was always there to greet Edward and I when we arrived after school or on weekends when I'd feel brave enough to take my truck over. One Sunday I even asked Edward if he quit his job.
He had shaken his head and laughed, "He decided to work night shifts. Switch it up a little." Then he gave me that crooked 'we're-vampires-and-have-seen-it-all-and-get-bored-easily' smile and that was that. I thought nothing of it.
Carlisle had rushed to my side as I scrambled to sit up after hitting the wall. He grasped my arm and examined the damage.
"I'll have to stitch this up in my office." he whispered, more to himself than anyone in particular.
After the Cullen's pulled Jasper out of the house, I found Edward glaring at me and in that moment, I wished I could read minds. Surely he wasn't blaming me for this, was he? Then he shook his head at me and turned around, fleeing the house. The picture of disgust on his face before he walked away was burned into my brain.
Needless to say that I was in a whole different world when all of the sudden I was pulled against a rock hard chest and lifted from the ground. Before I even had a chance to shriek, Carlisle sped up the stairs and set me down on a table in his office. He darted to the other side of the room and back before I could blink, which only served to startle me more. I jumped at the touch of his hand on my forearm.
"I'm going to need you to keep your arm still, Bella. Feel free to hold on to me if it will help you keep it still."
He pulled my arm gently out to lean my wrist against his hip. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't help the quickening of my heartbeat.
"Are you afraid of needles?" he asked me, an amused smile playing across his lips. "I'll be gentle, I promise."
If I had blinked, I would have missed the split second where that adorable smile became a delectable smirk. But as quickly as it came, it had disappeared and I felt an uncontrollable blush rise to my cheeks. Thankfully he had already begun to stitch my arm and didn't see it. Or if he did, he chose not to comment.
While I wasn't scared of needles, I had never been very comfortable with the sight of blood. I tried to distract myself by thinking about other things. First, I thought about Carlisle. I quickly realized that would probably do more harm than good so instead, I thought about Edward. At the exact moment I thought of my boyfriend, Carlisle began stitching a particularly sensitive area and I cringed. The irony wasn't lost on me. Lately it seemed like that's all our relationship had been doing. Making me cringe.
I sighed quietly, but he heard it anyways.
"Is everything all right? Would you like some medication for the pain?"
If the genuine concern in his voice wasn't enough to make me feel loved, the look on his face was. His brow was furrowed slightly and his eyes begged me to tell him if I was in pain. He was hurting for me.
It warmed my heart.
A took a deep breath and cleared my throat before I spoke again, not trusting my voice. "I'm fine, keep going."
He studied me for a moment before giving a curt nod and continuing his work. He started slowly and glanced up to gauge my reaction. When he was certain that I was not in pain, he put his full attention back on my cut and I put my full attention on studying his features.
First, I looked at his hair. It was golden blonde and looked even silkier up close than it did from afar. I buried the aching urge to put my hands in it to find out if it really was as soft as I thought it'd be by traveling my eyes downwards to study his eyes. I always thought the Cullens had beautiful eyes. Such a lovely shade of gold given to them as a gift for the incredible amount of restraint they all had. I never mentioned that thought to Edward, or anyone else for that matter, because I doubted any of them would see it the same way I did. The color of their eyes was no more a gift to them than their vampire status was. So I kept my mouth shut in fear of offending or aggravating anyone.
I refocused on Carlisle's eyes. He had the kind that musicians write songs about. You could lose yourself in them and I was grateful he wasn't gazing into mine, instead focusing on his work. As cheesy as it sounded, it seemed like every time Carlisle looked at me, I could feel his eyes burning into my soul. It was incredibly intense, but intensity greatly unlike the one I felt when Edward looked at me. When Carlisle looked at me, really looked at me, it made me feel as if he could see only me. In those moments, I was the only person in the room. The air would get thick and heat would seem to flow through my body as if I was on fire. Even though I knew it was all in my head, I still loved those moments where I could pretend.
When Edward would look at me, it was different. When we first met it was a similar feeling, only without the heat I felt from Carlisle. Lately though I could see Edward looking at me through rose-colored glasses. I wasn't who he thought I was. I was a good girl, sweet, innocent. I didn't lust after his father. I didn't care about sex. I was perfectly content doing what he wanted all of the time. He would gaze at me with amusement, curiosity, and frustration. He'd never say it, but I think it really bothered him that he couldn't read my mind. I thought back to the last look Edward had given me. A look that said he was disgusted that it had come to this. I was a clumsy human girl who seemed to have the ability to rip his family apart. Whether he was disgusted at me and my humanity or at himself for bringing me into this in the first place, I really didn't know. Maybe it was both.
Expelling the depressing thoughts from my mind, I looked back to the man stitching my arm. I let my eyes linger on his pale skin and around his nose before his lips, slightly pursed in his concentrated state, came into my eyesight. Despite how unbreakable he was, his lips always looked so soft. I wondered how they felt to kiss. I wondered how Carlisle kissed. I had never seen him and Esme kiss, which I found strange after thinking about it. They were together constantly, whispering in each other's ears and laughing at the private jokes, but they never displayed much affection beyond typical family ones. It was clear that they loved each other, but were they in love? I didn't know and honestly, I was way too chicken to ask.
He spoke suddenly, jolting me out of my thoughts.
"You're doing very well, Bella. I'm almost done but this last part might hurt a bit more than the rest. Are you sure you don't want anything?" he asked with a kind smile.
"I'll be alright, I promise."
"Very well, but remember to keep it as still as you can."
I didn't expect it to hurt, but it did. My arm started to shake and I quickly unclenched my balled fist and grasped Carlisle's hip tightly. I expected a concerned glance followed by another offer for medication. Maybe a reassuring smile. What I got was unbelievable.
Carlisle inhaled sharply and suddenly stepped forward. My hand stayed clenching his hip and his legs forced my knees to part. He stood standing between them, far enough so we weren't touching, but too close to be considered appropriate. He looked down to where my hand was gripping him and I wondered if I had unintentionally crossed some sort of line.
"Y-you said that I could hold on to you," I explained quietly, pausing to clear my throat and lick my lips, which were suddenly dry. I looked to the floor before continuing, "Sorry, it hurt more than I expected."
He didn't speak so I dared to take a glance at his face. His expression was deadly serious, as if he were deeply considering something. He stood there breathing heavily and staring into my eyes for what felt like hours. Then a thought flittered through my head. The way he was looking at me now was really happening; it wasn't just in my head. I felt a cross between panic and excitement creep up my spine causing me to shiver.
Carlisle began to nod very slowly. "I did say that, yes." His voice was rougher than normal. "I should finish. Grab onto me again."
I looked at him incredulously. After his initial reaction, I very hesitant to do it again. He didn't give me much of a choice though. He sensed my uncertainty and grabbed my hand, flattened out the fist I had once again then guided my hand to rest on his hip. His cold hand remained over mine as he held it there. The hormonal part of my brain felt it was almost like he was showing me how to feel him up. It was incredibly sensual. My knees parted further on their own accord as my arousal spiked.
I heard a low growl and looked up at Carlisle with wide eyes. He was standing completely still, body rigid, as if he were waiting for an attack of some kind. His golden eyes had lost some of their color, darkening as he gazed at me. The growling continued as I watched his nostrils flares and it finally dawned on me that he could smell me. Smell my arousal. Embarrassment flooded through me and I wished the floor would open and swallow me whole. My eyes darted around the room, looking for an escape. But even if I could find an escape route, there was still the matter of the unbreakable and unmovable vampire still standing between my legs.
The growl tapered off and I watched him begin to struggle. His face contorted as he fought himself for control. From any other man I might have been worried but this was Carlisle Cullen, master of self-control. I sighed in relief as his posture slacked and his eyes seemed to regain a bit of gold. They flickered up to meet mine for a moment before he looked away, obviously ashamed with himself. He said nothing and returned to stitching my arm but didn't move away. We were still locked into a rather intimate and inappropriate position but I couldn't find it in me to care.
If I was honest with myself, I kind of wished he was closer. I kind of wished he didn't have so much control. I pictured what could have happened if he had lost the battle with himself and pulled me against him, my legs automatically wrapping around his thin waist. I imagined him leaning down and burying his face in my neck while grinding his arousal against my center. How his cool tongue would feel sliding up my neck as I writhed against his rock hard body.
I could feel my underwear getting uncomfortably wet and was snapped back to reality as a strangled groan made its way to my ears.
"Bella, why must you torture me this way? Do you have any idea what this does to me?" he whispered, his voice laced with agony.
"W-what are… No. It's… I mean-" my stuttering was cut off by a wave of his hand.
"Not now, we will continue this conversation later."
There was a promise is his voice as he said it. As if there wasn't a choice, whenever we could, we would continue this in some way, shape, or form. I felt myself shiver once again as he put the final stitches in my arm. He grabbed a match and lit the bowl containing the bloody shards of glass on fire. I tried to watch him as he darted around the room at vampire speed before moving to stand at my side at an innocent distance away. Right as I was about to speak, the door to his study opened and Edward slowly made his way into the room.
"Is she alright?"
The way he directed his question at Carlisle while completely ignoring me, the injured party, pissed me off. Not that I'd ever say anything.
Carlisle nodded, "She's tough, she'll be fine." He looked over at me and smiled politely but there was something underneath it. An apology for Edward's behavior perhaps.
"Good. Come on, Bella. I'll take you home now."
I nodded mutely and followed behind him. When I got one step away from the door, a cold hand grasped on to my forearm gently.
"Later." Carlisle said simply. I knew enough to realize that it wasn't a question.
Still shocked by the situation, I simply nodded again. I didn't trust myself enough to speak at the moment. He released my arm and watched me follow Edward downstairs. Edward drove me home and kissed me goodnight as usual, but I couldn't bring myself to really kiss him back. For once, I was grateful for the fact that he didn't trust himself enough to kiss for more than a few seconds. I managed to avoid cringing as he backed away and fled inside my house as soon as it was over. I heaved a heavy sigh as I leaned against the door, truly grateful that Edward couldn't read my mind and hear the lustful thoughts of his father that I couldn't seem to shake.
So that's how I wound up here, laying sideways on my bed with my head hanging off of it. I could barely feel the blood pounding painfully in my head and the cramp forming in my neck was easily ignored while I mulled over the events of my eighteenth birthday. I tried convincing myself it was all a dream but deep inside, I knew it wasn't. There were millions of questions floating through my head, but only one demanded an immediate answer.
When Carlisle decides to continue whatever it was that we started in his office… what the hell was I going to do?