Okay, so I didn't manage to upload a second chapter last week, so here's an early-week chapter instead. Thanks for your support and wonderful reviews everyone! I'm now going to go hide from the cold and snow (oh shut up all of you from Winnipeg, I know you had snow weeks and weeks ago already and probably several times what we have now and a million degrees colder, but it's still cold and wet and I don't want to wear my boots yet... whine, whine, whine...).
Thanks go out to theGlaistig
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin
(thank god - I might have to shoot myself in the writing hand if I did) or Stargate: SG1
Daniel leisurely strolled into the gateroom with one hand in his pocket and the other resting in its sling. He saw Jack waiting by the stargate: far enough away from the foot of the ramp in order to avoid appearing anxious and instead look like a good general concerned for his people. Daniel chuckled and walked up to him.
“Hey, Jack, is this the last team you're waiting for?” he said.
Jack sent him a scathing glare.
“You know full well it is,” he said. “Also, you should know I'm holding you personally responsible for all of the archaeologists thinking they have the right to undermine the command of military officers.”
“Jack, this is Doctor Hunithson we're talking about. I'm pretty sure I had nothing to do with him. He's managed to to get the marines on base whipped all on his own.”
“Maybe. Either way, though, his was only one of two teams that never made their way to the Alpha Site at the end of their mission. And the second team was on a diplomatic mission helping to rebuild a village or something.”
“Well, so long as they weren't in any danger...” Daniel shrugged, wincing slightly as the movement pulled at the stitches in his shoulder.
Jack's reply was lost as the stargate began to light up and spin.
“General, we're getting SG-9's IDC,” Sergeant Harriman's voice announced and Jack waved at him to open the iris.
The youngest member of SG-9 strolled through first, looking relaxed and well-rested. If not for the uniform and gun, Jack would've thought he'd just returned from vacation. Hunithson scuttled through right behind him, holding his walking stick in one hand and carrying a basket in the other.
He grinned when he saw Jack and hurried past the soldier.
“Ah, general,” he declared, handing Jack the basket. “I've brought you a souvenir.”
Jack gave the old man a suspicious look before peeking under the thick linen cloth tucked over the basket's contents. He raised an eyebrow at the rounded purple lumps that smelt of soil and starch.
“And what exactly are these?” he asked.
Hunithson rolled his eyes. “Potatoes, obviously. They're a little on the purple side, granted, but absolutely delicious. Extremely healthy and nutritious as well.”
“You brought me potatoes.” Jack looked at him, trying to figure out where the catch was.
Jack looked up as he heard the stargate disengage. Colonel Goodman was walking down the ramp with an extremely amused expression on his face. Jack decided he didn't like that expression. His second-in-command, Major Gunning was walking beside the MALP steadying something on top of it.
Something long and round and wrapped in reeds and more of that rough linen cloth. There was a double tail fin sticking out of one end. The entire package looked about the size of a man.
“Yes, fish,” Doctor Hunithson said. “I've heard you might need reminding of what one looks like to give you a better idea of what to look for the next time you're at your cabin.”
There was a rather distinct coughing sound coming from Daniel's direction. Then, a rather red-faced Daniel walked up to his fellow archaeologist.
“Um, yes, well, Jack, I think I should escort Doctor Hunithson to the infirmary so that Doctor Brightman can begin with her poking and prodding,” Daniel said quickly. “You know how concerned she was about his health... I'll make sure he makes it to the debriefing.”
“Daniel!” Hunithson exclaimed. “You're injured! What happened?”
“Oh, I sort of got possessed by Anubis...”
Hunithson shook his head and took something out of his pocket, handing it to Daniel.
“Here, this is your souveneir. The druids made it; it's a protection amulet. I believe you'll find it useful as you must be the most prolific danger-magnet I've ever known and believe me, I've known plenty. Of course, at least you have the intelligence and common sense not to actually go looking for danger...”
Jack watched them hurry off without a word. Then he turned back to SG-9.
Several airmen were already helping them unload the MALP. However, it seemed the team wanted to unload their prize catch themselves. Major Gunnings staggered as he handed the fish off to the two lieutenants on his team. Then he turned and began to unload a second fish
As Jack gaped, Colonel Goodman walked down the ramp.
“So, general,” he said. “What d'you suppose our chances are of getting the kitchens to make us grilled fish for dinner?”
“Is it safe?”
“Might need a saw to get it open; damn thing's scales are lined with trinium or something. Should give the scientists something to play with too. But we ate the monsters on the planet with no problem.” He grinned. “Those potatoes, though, they really are something. They're like instant energy food. The druids make a sort of drink out of them too for when they go travelling.”
“Great, so now we're an episode of The Travelling Chef?” Jack muttered. He snapped his fingers. “Now there's an idea! We should publish a cookbook: Recepies from Space
. The Pentagon's always complaining how much this program costs; this could make us instant millions. Maybe enough to buy us an army of MALPs! Or a really fancy UAV – maybe even one that works properly.”
“Brilliant plan, sir,” said Goodman. “Uh... so, what do you want us to do with...?”
He gestured to the fish the rest of his team were holding.
“Take it to the science labs,” Jack waved them off. “I'll call the kitchens.”
Jack grumbled all the way to his office about the unfairness of the universe. It wasn't until he got there that he realized he still had the potatoes.
Well there you have it: intergalactic travel, homecomings, Daniel Jackson and fish. What more could anyone want? A million dollars you say? Okay, I'll give you that one. ;P
Hope everyone enjoyed that bit of silliness! Please review.