Here's the chapter for this week! Thanks again to everyone, who reviewed the last one: I'm glad you all liked Siler's misadventure. Maybe I'll try and figure out a way to bring kitty-Siler back... Anyway, this chapter's really just a bit of fun I couldn't resist writing. I'm wondering how many people will recognize the random reference from outside these fandoms (not that it really matters if you don't). Thanks to theGlaistig
for betaing this chapter!
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.
Merlin frowned as he watched Jack O'Neill sneak out of the anthro-archaeology lab, trying very hard not to look like he was sneaking. He looked rather pleased with himself, which Merlin didn't like at all. Once the colonel was gone, Merlin braced himself and cautiously walked into the lab.
At first he saw nothing amiss. He made it all the way to his desk before he saw IT.
IT was a large, grey pointed hat with a wide floppy brim that looked like it had seen better days before being attacked by a family of moths. Down the pointed top, sloppy white stitches spelled out the word: WIZZARD.
For a few moments Merlin could do nothing but blink at it. It was hardly the most hideous hat he'd ever seen – in fact it barely compared to some of the monstrosities Arthur had subjected him to back in the days he was still able to – but it was the principle of the matter. Merlin simply didn't do hats.
He smirked. Colonel O'Neill had no idea who he'd just challenged.
A week, and one ruin-cataloguing milk-run mission that actually managed to remain a milk-run mission later, Jack had almost forgotten about the hat he'd randomly found at a yard sale and then fixed up. Hunithson had barely reacted to it anyway, which had been a bit of a disappointment.
“So, Daniel, T, what do you guys say to beer and pizza tonight?” Jack asked while they undressed in the locker room.
“I would be amendable to that suggestion,” said Teal'c with a slight smile. “One of the new members of SG-15 has loaned me the DVDs to a program he claims is better than Star Wars
. It is called Doctor Who
The sneer in his voice told his friends exactly what the jaffa thought of that. Daniel snickered.
“I've heard of it, but never seen any of it, so I can't compare,” he said. Then he shrugged. “Give me a few hours, to wrap things up and I'll join you.”
“Does anyone here ever bother to remember I hate science fiction?” Jack sighed. “And Daniel, you have exactly two hours after the briefing's done to put whatever in order and then I'm dragging you- whoa!”
Jack had just opened his locker to get his shower stuff, when something tall and black fell out of it. He caught it easily enough as it wasn't heavy. It took him a few moments to figure out what it was: a hat. A tall, black cone-shaped hat with big block letter going down one side that read DUNCE.
Beside him, Daniel chuckled.
“Secret admirer, Jack?” he teased.
“Nope,” Jack said with a delighted grin. “I think this might be payback.”
He was less delighted when General Hammond asked Major Carter to remove the pink sparkly “Kick Me” sign from the back of his uniform jacket.
A week later, he was trying to concentrate on finishing his paperwork, when Daniel burst into his office, eyes bright with the sort of excitement Jack had learnt to dread. Because, when Daniel got this sort of excited, the archaeologist liked to share. Which wouldn't be nearly as much of a problem if he didn't also expect Jack to pay attention while he shared.
Which, of course, Jack never did. Instead, he let Daniel ramble on while his eyes wandered around his office, cataloguing all the familiar objects in the room.
Until, suddenly, he realized they weren't all so familiar, after all. He stared at the wall with a frown.
“What's wrong?” Daniel asked. “You look confused. And probably not about the Aztec symbols I've been talking about for the past ten minutes.”
Jack blinked. Had it really been that long?
“Oh, nothing important,” he said absently. “I was just trying to figure out why I suddenly had two diplomas on my wall.”
Surprised, Daniel looked over to the framed diplomas hanging on his wall. Then he walked over them. He skimmed over the first one, but his eyes widened as he began to read the second one. As soon as Jack saw a grin beginning to emerge, he was out of his chair and walking over to inspect it himself.
Daniel roared with laughter and ran to the phone. Jack could hear him talking to Carter, telling her to get up here now, as he looked over the diploma.
It was expertly made, unrecognizable from a real, official document. Even had an embossed seal, gold lettering and everything as it proudly announced Jack O'Neill's official status as a member of the Village Idiot's Guild.
Daniel and Carter refused to let him take it down.
Well, that's all for now folks. 'Till next week! Now please review!