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And This Is Why We Hate Tuesdays

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Summary: A flare is a pain in in the hind end, even for those who lived before the tech fell.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Literature > FantasyChelleyBeanFR18516,3774284,60410 Sep 1213 Dec 12No

I wouldn't recommend the turtle soup

“What god do you worship?”

Willow looked up from her notes and blinked. There was a slender, very pretty young girl standing a few feet from her. She had caramel colored hair and piercing eyes that look too old for her obvious scant years. “I’m sorry?”

“What god do you worship?”

“Oh. Uhm… not any particular god, I suppose. I’m a witch, Wiccan, so I am more of a goddess-type worshipper.” The girl frowned. “What?”

“Are you sure?”

“Pretty sure. Yeah. Why?”

The girl scowled. She looked as though she was considering how much she should say. “Witch magic is human magic. Human magic is blue. Yours is white.”

Okay. That was surprising. “You can see magic? Magic auras, I mean.”

“Yeah, that’s why I said that. I don’t usually tell people. Apparently it makes me very valuable and Kate gets all kinds of overprotective. Your magic is white.”

“What does that mean?”

“White magic is faith magic. People with white magic get it from a god. Not like how the Volhvs get their magic or how Wiccans get theirs. Wiccans may pray to the goddess, but they still have human colored magic. White magic is what holy people have. Clergy people like priests and the Rabbis at the Temple.”

It was Willow’s turn to frown. “If Wiccans respect the goddess, why wouldn’t she give us magic?”

“Because she doesn’t work that way. She’s nature, and she expects her children to sink or swim on their own, as they do in nature. Wiccans who do magic do magic because they have the talent to do so. Not because a deity gave them the power to do so.”

“You’re rather smart for someone so young.”

The girl rolled her eyes. “I’m seventeen. Almost eighteen. That’s an adult by the legal standards, and I’ve been an adult in almost every way that counts for a while now.” Her eyes suddenly grew wide. “But not… that way. I mean, I’m not a prude, but I’m not the kind to sleep around.”

Willow got it. “And if you’re Kate’s responsibility, you’re also Curran’s. I feel sorry for any young man who had to ask him if he could date you.”

The girl rolled her eyes. “Tell me about it. There was this one boy I wanted to date, but I dropped that idea. He looked like he was gonna pee himself at just the thought of asking The Lion King if he could take me to this concert last month.”

Willow laughed and held out her hand. “I’m Willow.”

The girl shook it. “Julie. Unofficial daughter of their royal majesties and general pain in the ass to all those annoying. The annoying people are usually male.”

“I think that’s pretty much normal.”

“I’m starting to think that, too.” Julie sat down next to Willow. “Whatcha doing?”

“Trying to work out a spell.”

“I wouldn’t try that with the Flare up. No offense, but you’re not used to it. I am used to it, so are all the kids at my school, but they still shut down for the
Flare and sent all us local students home until it’s over.”

“I thought the schools were open. Buffy, Faith and Xander went out on that run to one of the high schools with some of the shape shifters.”

Julie rolled her eyes again. “I go to a private school. Our administrator is smarter than that.”


“I don’t get it.”

Xander tossed the dismembered limb of one of the giant spider creatures onto the growing pile of such body parts. “What don’t you get?”

Ascanio tossed the oversized torso of another creature onto the same pile. “Why are the schools even open? This is Atlanta. They cancel school if there’s
less than a half inch of snow.”

“Guess they figure magic is less likely to disrupt the busses.”

“Julie’s school shut down.”

“That’s different.” Derek was busy tearing down thick ropes of sticky webbing. “Julie goes to a private school that caters to magical children. Shape shifters. Various elemental magic abilities. Not-quite-humans like dryads and part-dragons.”

“And that makes a difference?”

“Would you want a building of highly magical children drowning in all the hormones of adolescence cooped up in a school with the deep magic running? Might as well rig the building up with explosives and set it off.”

“Oh.” Ascanio nodded, getting it. “Wait. They have a dragon?”

“Part dragon. Jim and Dali know him.”

Xander shook his head. “And I thought our lives were weird. We’re down right normal compared to you guys.”

Derek grinned. “Welcome to the New World. Now things like witches and werewolves are just part of everyday life. They probably won’t even blink when you throw a couple of Vampire Slayers into the mix. Speaking of which, where are they?”

The words had no sooner left Derek’s mouth that the girls’ voices drifted down a stairwell. “Faith! Stop playing around.”

“Come on, B! It’s fun! Whahoo!”

Xander, Derek and Ascanio all stared in silent shock as Faith came down the stairs riding one of the spider creatures as though it were just a horse while waving an axe over her head like a sword. They continued to stare as she steered the creature by using a death grip with her other hand on the wiry hairs on its head and went down another hallway.

Buffy came running down the stairs carrying another one of the monsters over her back. She sighed and threw it onto the pile. “Xander! Why didn’t you
stop her?” She took off after Faith.

All three males shut their mouths with a click. Derek looked at Xander. “Is that normal behavior?”

“For Faith? Kind of.”

Ascanio got a dopey, dreamy look on his face. “She’s perfect.”

Xander and Derek looked at the young Bouda and barked a unified “No!”


“The turtle? We get to see the turtle?”

“Most likely.”

“Awesome!” And just like that, Julie’s gothic, mournful, sullen demeanor crumpled under the weight of pure jubilation. She rushed ahead of them as they made their way through the park. Kate shook her head with fond exasperation.

“Wait? Derek wasn’t shitting me about that?”

Kate looked at her mate. “You think Derek would put jokes into his official reports? You know him better than that.”

Curran’s expression was one between disbelief and… horror? “You’re serious about this.”

They broke through into a clearing where Julie was already cooing over a turtle as big as a house as though it were just a teensy box turtle in a terrarium.

“As the grave.”

Willow and Oz stared at the giant reptile. “That hardly seems possible. I mean… the laws of physics and biology… it shouldn’t be possible.”

Oz didn’t appear to know if should be scared or intrigued. “Magic is strange.”

“Tell me about it. Try being mated to her.” Curran jerked his head towards Kate.

Oz pointed at the redhead next to him. “Got her.”

“Fair enough.”

Kate turned at gave them all a stern expression. “Finished now? We need to get on with this. We’re expected.” She turned back to the turtle and walked towards it in a determined fashion. As she did so the creature opened its huge maw.

Oz blinked. “Does she mean we…”

Curran glowered. “Yes.” He started forward after his mate. Willow and Oz exchanged disbelieving, horrified looks before sighing and turning to follow their hosts into the open maw of the giant turtle.

It… wasn’t that horrible. It was a bit wet at first, but there was no horrible stink. It actually smelled like fresh water and flowers. After a short time the throat/tunnel opened into a large room with a raised dais at the front. Upon that dais were three chairs, more like thrones. Upon those thrones sat three women; Maiden, Mother and Crone, though Willow figured that it was probably wise not to call the aged, wrinkled woman at the end a ‘crone’ out loud. She looked kind of scary.

Kate gave a slight bow. The Mother Witch smiled warmly, never stopping in her knitting. “Kate, we are happy to see you again.” The Maiden looked like she agreed with that statement. The Crone… not so much. “A little birdie told us that you bring us a special visitor.”

“That I do.” Kate motioned for Willow to step forward. “This is Willow Rosenberg, The Red Witch. Believed lost to the world at the start of the First Flare but now proven to have just been… misplaced.”

The Mother Witch put her knitting down at last. All three witches gave a respectful nod of their heads towards Willow. Willow bowed in response. She was in their house and she could feel their power from here. There was no way she would be stupid enough to believe she could take them on and win. “Thank you for seeing me.”

“You are welcome here, Dear. And, I suspect, you are in need of assistance.”

“Yeah, on a couple of things actually. The first and foremost on my mind is trying to avoid being killed for the ‘Greater Good’ thing those Order guys apparently preach about.”

The Crone’s craggy face became hideous with a scowl. “Bah! The ‘Order of Merciful Aide’. Hypocrites, the lot of them! They pretend to play nice when they would gladly kill everyone with magic. The witches, the Volhvs, the shape shifters. They hate us all.”

The Mother nodded. “But they have too much power to be taken down, and they will be needed when the Father of the People finally makes his move on Atlanta.” She shook her head. “They will side with us if the fight is against him, and they are well armed. Still, if we declare you to be one of our number and under our protection, they will not dare to touch you. Any records of crimes you may have committed with magic were lost with Sunnydale and, I believe I am correct in that any witnesses that may still be alive would not testify against you.” Willow nodded in affirmation. “Then all we will require is a Write of Kinship, acknowledging your parents as your parents for our records. I do not think that the Rosenbergs had any other children, but you may have cousins who came into gifts after the magic returned. It will allow the covens to find the documentation required to identify and support them.”

Willow blinked. “And what if no one else in my family had any magic?”

“It is possible you were merely a victim of the Hellmouth, but more likely that there is a magical line somewhere in your blood. Of course… your family was


“Then you are more likely to have family roots among the Hebrew Mystics. Kate, I would recommend that you also introduce her to the Rabbi’s at the Temple. They may be able to connect her with distant relations who are Khabbalists. A different theory of magic, but the spark comes from the same space within. Understanding herself may go far in helping her adapt to this new world.”

“And your offer to claim her as one of your own?”

“Still stands, of course. She is a witch, not a Rabbi. She is one of ours.”

Willow felt something in her shoulders unknot. She hadn’t even felt Oz come up next to her, but she was grateful for the warm hand that moved up to knead her shoulder comfortingly.

The Mother smiled at the couple with one of those happy, romantic smiles older people wore when they gazed upon young lovers. “Your other request?”

“Uhm… I need to figure out how to set up a beacon spell that may read thru to other dimensions.”

“For what purpose?”

She took a deep breath. “Kate told us that after we… vanished, the group we ran and would later become this ‘Order’ turned against one of our own who should have been in charge in our absence. Dawn Summers, younger sister of Buffy Summers.”

“Originally the Key of Doors, until the Monks of Dagon used blood from the Slayer to forge her into the body of a human girl.” It was the first time the Maiden had spoken. Her voice of soft and lyrical. Her gaze was distant as though seeing something far off that no one else could find. “A girl who is not a girl. A key that is no longer a key. The Flare made her even stronger and those who did not understand her feared her, just as they fear us. They tried to use her, and when that failed they sought to kill her. They did the same to the slayers left behind. The Key did what she felt was best for their safety and removed them from this world until she could dare to return.”

Willow’s mouth clicked shut. She heard Curran murmur a question to Kate but couldn’t quite make it out. She heard Kate clearly enough. “The Key of Doors?”

Willow swallowed. “Uhm… did we forget to mention that Dawnie was originally a big glowing ball of magical energy?”

“Yeah, I think that part kinda slipped by you.”


The Crone cackled, apparently happy to see Kate caught by surprise. The Mother’s lips twitched slightly. The Maiden rose and came down for the dais to clasp Willows hands in her own.

“Your idea is sound. You are right in that, since Dawn’s human form was created from blood taken from your friend, there is an unseverable link between them. They are not sisters, and even closer than mother and daughter. They are the same creature, but made separate by their different purposes and callings. If you craft a beacon from the Slayer’s blood, Dawn’s very essence will feel it and know that it is time to return.”

Curran raised his voice. “Wait, are you saying there’s a chance to get that army of vampire hunting super girls back here?”

The Maiden looked up, her face radiant with hope and joy. “Yes. We will have to wait until the Flare has passed and the beacon cannot be set until the tech falls again, but we should be able to do it before we must face The People and their leader.” Her eyes glazed over again. “It opens so many other possibilities. He will not be prepared for that, and with so many girls trained to work together, his abominations will not be as indestructible as he believes. This would strengthen our chances to win the battle.”

“Kate? Is that true?”

“It makes sense. The legend says that the Slayers were made to stand against Roland and his nightmares, but the original spell only allowed for one at a time. Probably because the men who cast it didn’t want to risk having to face an army of Slayers. One young girl at a time, strong as she was, could still be controlled. A couple thousand that are battle ready? That’s a different story.”

“And the down side?” Curran waited. “There’s always a down side.”

Oz shrugged. “Logistics.”

Willow nodded. “They’ll need shelter. And you’ve seen how much Buffy and Faith can eat. The Slayers run hot and need a lot of calories to keep going. Then there are the tempers, teenage angst from girls who can throw a VW bug, Xander had to patch a lot of walls because they would get into fights with one another and go through them. And then there’s the spooky stuff. The Slayers have prophetic dreams, and they’re rarely about rainbows and unicorns.”

“So, aside from the dream thing, they’re like teenage shape shifters, only without the fur.” Curran nodded. “We can do that. I’ve been thinking we need to add a new set of living quarters for the keep anyway. There are a lot of kids hitting puberty. I’ve got plenty of hands in need of busy work and I’m running out of busy work to give them.”

The Mother picked up her knitting again. “Good, it is settled then. We will be certain to let the appropriate authorities know that Willow Rosenberg is now acknowledged as a member of the Covens and under the direct protection of the Oracle and the Senior Witches. I would recommend you stay indoors as much as possible for the rest of the Flare, Dear. I’ll send you one of our more scholarly members after the Tech is back to help you with your calculations and preparations for the spell. The last Flare… I think we had over two months down time? That should be plenty.”

Curran nodded in agreement. “The Pack thanks the Coven for their assistance in this matter.”

“The Covens thank the Pack for bringing our lost sister home to us and for sheltering her in these troubled times. We hope that the future will bring peace and prosperity to both our peoples.”

The End?

You have reached the end of "And This Is Why We Hate Tuesdays" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 13 Dec 12.

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