After touching down on Yavin IV, Buffy-Bot and the rest of the ill-matched crew of the Millennium Falcon found themselves in the rebel stronghold. Showing no concern for the ancient, alien, city buried deep in the planet’s jungle covered surface. The rebels had hollowed out one of the great stone pyramids and built their base inside it. After landing the crew were greeted by several rebel officers who led them through the base. Positioning herself close to where Princess Leia walked with a senior rebel officer, Buffy-Bot listened in on their conversation.
“You’re safe,” the officer; an older man with greying hair, exchanged more than friendly hugs with the Princess, “when we heard about Alderaan not being destroyed we feared the worst.”
“Yes,” Leia smiled up into the man’s face, “the Empire not destroying Alderaan could so easily have pushed back our timetable for ultimate victory. Just imagine how much support we’d have gathered if they’d killed all those billions of people,” Leia sighed sadly, “Whatever, better luck next time, eh? Anyway we’ve no time for regrets General,” Leia glanced over to where the R2 unit was waiting for someone to tell it what to do. “You must use the information in that R2 unit to help plan the attack on the Peace Star, it’s our only hope.”
“What about the others?” the General eyed the rest of the Falcon’s passengers and crew suspiciously.
“The farm boy can die a hero’s death making futile attacks on the Imperial Fleet and the Peace Star,” Leia announced coldly, “he claims to be a good pilot.” She shifted her gaze towards Solo and Chewie, “The smuggler and his walking carpet on the other hand can be quietly taken behind one of the pyramids and shot.”
“Of course, Princess,” the General agreed, “what about the blonde girl?”
“Oh,” Leia turned as she dismissed the crew of the Falcon from her mind, “she’s just a sex-bot; put her to work in one of the crew brothels.”
Standing with a vacant smile on her face, Buffy-Bot watched as Solo and Chewie were taken away by some friendly looking guards. Several techs appeared and took the R2 unit away leaving her to stand alone like a little forlorn sex-bot lost in a big bad world. Turning with a spring in her step Buffy-Bot walked away before anyone could tell her to report to a brothel; she needed stuff, like an armoury.0=0=0=0
“We’ve arrived in the Yavin System, Lord Giles,” the aide announced from behind Giles.
“Good, good,” Giles smiled as he happily polished his spectacles, “any sigh that they were expecting us?”
“None, sir,” confirmed the Aide, “however we have a fighter screen in place in front of us and the rest of the fleet have taken up positions around the Peace Star just in case.”
“Excellent!” Giles smiled happily as he replaced his glasses, “Continue to close the distance with Yavin IV and fire on any ship that tries to stop us but no one is to fire on the planet, understand?”
“Yes Lord Giles,” the aide left to carry out his orders.
“I better get my guys ready,” Buffy said quietly from her position next to Giles.
“Yes, yes, do that,” Giles turned quickly to look down at Buffy, “hopefully the rebels will see the futility of resisting you once we’ve destroyed their fleet and have them trapped.”
“Yeah, I hope so too,” Buffy didn’t sound anywhere near as excited about the possible end of the rebellion as Giles did.
“What’s wrong, Buffy?” Giles asked quietly.
“Well, Giles…” Buffy sagged a little from the weight of her command responsibilities, “…what if they don’t and fight to the death?” she sighed sadly, “They are fanatics after all.”
“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” Giles explained, “hopefully the threat of us destroying the planet will be enough to make them see sense.”
“I hope so Giles,” Buffy replied quietly, “I really do…”0=0=0=0
Back down on Yavin IV, rebel techs took the R2 unit into the base’s main control room where they plugged it into the base computer’s memory banks. Within micro-seconds the Imperial virus the R2 unit carried transferred itself to the base’s systems. Rapidly the virus spread to every part of the base including those ships and fighter-craft that were plugged into the main computer to receive data updates.
Just as the first systems started to crash and the techs began to realise that their systems had been compromised, they leaped to unplug the R2 unit. But it was already to late, even as a tech yanked the cable connecting the R2 unit to the computer free the fuse to the demolition charge buried deep inside the R2 unit started to ‘burn’, it was a very short fuse.0=0=0=0
Standing outside one of the armouries, Buffy-Bot noticed the confused looks on the rebel’s faces when they found their computers and other devices wouldn’t work any more. Bracing herself, she felt the explosion though her feet as the R2 unit exploded destroying a fair sized chunk of the base’s interior as it did so. Standing unperturbed by all the panic around her, Buffy-Bot changed her vision scanners to thermal imaging so she could see through all the dust and smoke that billowed around the interior of the base.
“I love it ven a plan comes together,” Terminator-Bot said to herself.
Turning around she ripped the door to the armoury off its hinges and strode into the store. With a sweep of her hand Buffy-Bot killed the storeman sending his lifeless body flying through the air until it collided with the blast wall;. Quickly selecting two heavy blasters (one for each hand) and a couple of hand-blasters for back up, she checked they were fully charged before stepping out into the smoke and confusion of the main part of the base and started her bloody execution of the rebels.0=0=0=0
Feeling the assault transport judder as it hit Yavin IV’s atmosphere, Buffy sat in the troop bay with her troopers and tried to act unconcerned. She didn’t care what anyone said; punching through atmosphere at thousands of miles an hour just so angry people with guns could shoot at her wasn’t her idea of fun. But it needed doing and if that was the case then she was the girl to do it. Checking the feed that she got from the flightdeck on her head-up-display, Buffy saw that they’d be landing soon. ‘Landing’ she laughed mirthlessly, more like a controlled crash if previous assault landing were anything to go by.
“Okay guys!” Buffy stood up to address her troopers, “Listen-up, we’ll be landing soon. Hopefully when we get to the rebel stronghold it’ll just be a case of mopping-up and containing prisoners…”
“Fair dinkum, Mate?” called an anonymous voice from out of the seated ranks of trooper.
“Yeah,” Buffy laughed, “‘fair dinkum’, so do everything by the numbers and on the bounce I don’t want any un-necessary casualties.”
“TOO BLOODY RIGHT MATE!” the troopers called back as Buffy sat down and strapped herself back in.
“Any moment now…!”0=0=0=0
Gunning down a group of panicking rebel techs, Buffy-Bot continued through the base her high-heels clicking on the stone floor. Her latest orders were to kill or capture Princess Leia so she could be put on trial for crimes against sentient lifeforms. Walking on, her face expressionless, Buffy-Bot shot rebels as the scurried to escape the base, eventually she came to an armoured door with the words, ‘Combat Information Centre’ painted on it. If the Princess was going to be anywhere, Buffy-Bot reasoned, she’d be inside.
The door wasn’t guarded, if it had been it wouldn’t have made any difference to her; lifting her blasters she fired at the door. The metal of the door resisted her first attempts at blowing it open, however the continued assault of white hot plasma eventually broke down the door and let her gain access to the corridor beyond. Discarding her two heavy blasters (they were almost out of power anyway, she’d had a busy day!) Buffy-Bot pulled her hand-blasters and shot down a guard who’d come to see what all the noise was about.0=0=0=0
“Nothing works!” cried the rebel General in despair as he ineffectually hit buttons and switched switches, “Everything has been infected, we don’t even know whether those Imperial ships we detected are near the planet…”
“I expect they are,” Leia looked up from the useless controls and readouts that just showed gobbledegook, “we must evacuate.”
“But the navigation computers on all the ships have been compromised by the computer virus,” the General explained helplessly.
“What about my personal shuttle?” Leia asked, hoping against hope that she could save at least herself.
“Of course!” The General sighed with relief, “That was never connected to the base’s systems, we can escape on that.”
“We? Wrong!” Leia produced a concealed blaster, “I can escape in that,” She shot the surprised General in the forehead, for a moment she stood over the smoking body of the dead rebel officer. “You really expected me to share my shuttle with you? Get real, asshole!”
“Princess Leia!” Buffy-Bot walked into the control room and levelled both her blasters at Leia’s stomach.
“You!” Leia gasped as she took a step back from the unexpected appearance of the sex-bot, “What are you doing here sex-bot?” she demanded.
“I’m not a sex-bot,” Buffy-Bot explained with a slight Austrian accent, “I’m a Terminator-Bot,” suddenly her voice changed back to something more like her usual mindless sex-bot self, “How’d you like those sausages Bingo?”
Not bothering to answer, Leia shot Buffy-Bot. The plasma bolt hit Buffy-Bot in the left arm between elbow and shoulder. The lower part of her arm flew across the room from the force of the explosion caused by super heated plasma touching the relatively cold fluids that flowed through Buffy-Bot’s body. Staggering a little, Buffy-Bot kept her remaining blaster on target and fired.
Buffy-Bot’s aim was far superior to Princess Leia’s. The shot from Buffy-Bot’s weapon hit Leia’s pistol causing it to explode. Screaming in agony, Leia clutched at the stump of her right arm and fell to the floor where she moaned and cried in pain. Unhurriedly, Buffy-Bot made her way over to where Leia lay, she pointed her blaster at the Princesses head.
“Kill me you mechanical freak!” Leia demanded, “Let me die as a martyr to the cause…”
Buffy-Bot thought about this for a moment, eventually she came up with her answer.
Standing to one side, Buffy watched as her troopers deployed. It’d been as she’d hoped; the fight had been knocked out of the rebels and most of them seemed only too willing to surrender to her armoured and camouflaged stormtroopers.
“Colonel Summers, Mate?” the voice of one of her officers came to her over her suit’s comms unit.
“Go ahead,” Buffy replied as she pushed her way through the crowd of relieved rebel prisoners.
“We’ve penetrated to the bloody CIC, Mate,” Buffy could hear the amusement in the officer’s voice, “an’ guess what we bloody found?”
“Okay, I give up,” a smile quirked at Buffy’s lips, “what have you got? Proof that the rebellion was actually being organised by many tentacled, evil, alien, space monsters?”
“Not quite,” admitted the officer, “but your Bot has bloody captured Princess bloody Leia…mind-you they’ll both need some bloody repair work!”
“What!?” Buffy scowled inside her helmet, “Are you telling me Princess Leia was a Bot too!?”0=0=0=0
It was some hours later when the shuttle carrying Giles arrived at the rebel base from the Peace Star, Buffy met him as he climbed down from the shuttle’s hatch.
“Oh,” Giles groaned as he climbed down from the ship, “I’m getting too old for climbing in and out of cramped hatches.”
“Aw, poor old Giles,” Buffy smirked as she stepped forward to lend a hand, “going to retire to the home for Retired Evil Overlords, huh?”
“I am not an evil overlord,” Giles replied huffily as he straightened up and looked around, “and I won’t be retiring any time soon.”
“Whatever,” Buffy shrugged as Giles looked around as lines of rebel prisoners were led away to transports. “Colonel Summers reporting, Lord Giles,” Buffy gave Giles an exaggerated mock salute, “all the rebels are either killed or captured, a few might have run off into the jungle but I expect they’ll either come back or be eaten by the local wildlife.”
“Jolly good,” Giles beamed down at Buffy; she couldn’t remember seeing him quite this happy since they’d arrived in this far, far away galaxy. “And the Princess.”
“Captured by the Buffy-Bot,” Buffy announced, “she’s in the infirmary recovering from her wounds.”
“And Buffy-Bot?” Giles asked.
“Damaged,” Buffy admitted, “I sent her to be repaired…”
“So you’re not going to have her deactivated now the war’s over?” Giles asked casually.
“No,” Buffy shook her head, “I decided I was over reacting, she deserves to live out her existence in peace like everyone else.”
“Good,” Giles nodded, “I knew you’d make the right decision in the end…”
“You mean you knew that I’d eventually agree with you,” Buffy replied tartly, “and do what you suggested.”
“Well,” Giles grinned in a superior manner, “of course.”
“So what happens now?” Buffy asked, “the rebellion is beaten, apart from some mopping up to do the war’s effectively over.”
“Oh,” Giles led the way towards the great ancient pyramid that the rebels had violated for their own ends, “there’s still plenty to do. For instance,” he gestured to the rebel base, “this will have to be put back as it was.” He sighed tiredly, “Then there’s persuading the Emperor to give up his power, it’ll be a long time yet before there truly is freedom in the galaxy!”0=0=0=0What happened next?
Luke Skywalker; the Commission for Reconciliation determined that the only crimes that Skywalker was guilty of were those of being foolish and naïve. After a short stay in an Imperial Re-education facility, Luke Skywalker was sent back to Tatooine where he opened a droid repair workshop. Eventually he developed an interest in local politics and became Governor of Tatooine.
Han Solo; was convicted of multiple counts of murder, rape, smuggling and piracy. However, the military tribunal that tried his case decided not to have him hung in low gravity (as would be the normal punishment for pirates and drug smugglers) and decided to show leniency. Instead of the death sentence he was sentenced to transportation for life to the penal planet of ‘Brass Monkey’ where he lived out his life until dying of frostbite five years later.
The Wookie, Chewbacca; again convicted of multiple counts of smuggling and piracy the Military Tribunal commuted his death sentence saying that he’d been led astray by Solo and exiled him to the Wookie home world. As far as is know Chewbacca never left the planet again.
The Peace Star; after the Yavin IV campaign all further work on the Peace Star was cancelled and she was decommissioned from the Imperial Star Fleet. Several months after her decommissioning the Peace Star was re-commissioned and converted into a massive hospital and rescue ship for use in planetary disaster relief.
Princess Leia: after being released from hospital where reconstructive surgery had repaired the injuries she’d received. The Commission for Reconciliation tried her for Crimes against Sentient Lifeforms. Found guilty she had the death sentence passed on her. However Lord Giles stepped in and had her sentence commuted to life banishment on the frontier world of Tuath. After several futile escape attempts the Princess eventually gave up and settled down eventually marrying a local rancher. As far as it is know she died peacefully in bed surrounded by her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. A kinder fate than she really deserved.
Colonel Buffy Anne Summers; after assisting Lord Giles in stamping out the last embers of the rebellion, she eventually retired to Four-Ex where she lived surrounded by her retired stormtroopers. Every now and again she’d answer a call for help from Giles, but in general she lived quietly and refused all offers of positions in either the planetary or Imperial government. She lived out her life indulging her interest in shoes and only starting to write her biography a few years before she died at the ripe old age of 117, a much longer life than she’d ever expected.
Lord Giles: After the rebellion was over Giles found himself with the task of reforming the Empire into something close to a Constitutional Monarchy. Although working hard he never got to see the fruits of his labours come to fruition; he died of overwork at the age of seventy-two. However, the New Empire that emerged from the ashes of the old stands to this day as a beacon of hope and salvation for the oppressed masses of less happy worlds.
The Buffy-Bot; after being repaired and changing her designation to ‘Anne Bott’, Buffy-Bot worked as a ‘Special Assistant’ to Lord Giles for several years. Then, one day she climbed into a Scout Ship and disappeared into uncharted space never to be seen again. Before disappearing she’d mentioned how she’d wanted to explore strange new worlds and seek out the perfect pair of boots, to boldly go where no Bot had gone before!
Flying away to who knows where, the true fate of Buffy-Bot/Anne Bott will never be known for sure. Every year there are new rumours of her being spotted on some far flung planet at the edge of Imperial space even though her power packs must have run down long ago. But who knows, perhaps she found a way to recharge herself; maybe she discovered alien technology that allowed her to extend her ‘life’. Perhaps she’s still out there even today, hundreds of years after she disappeared, still looking for that perfect pair of boots.The End.