The many faces of Buffy: Oz (part 2)
Disclaimer: none of the characters are mine, but belong to their respective owners.
Note: contains spoilers for the official series.
“And so, Buffy, you must understand, that we do not brain our victims here,” Xander told Buffy crossly some time later. “By ‘victims’ I mean vampires, demons and whatever else have you, but still...”
“Then how do you kill them?” Buffy asked, genuinely curious.
“By staking, decapitation, dismemberment, holy water, sunlight,” Dawn began to list them, cheerfully, before she was interrupted by Tara:
“Sorry,” Dawn said, unabashed, “anyways, I guess decapitation works as well as your finishing move does, you know?”
“I hate to interrupt,” Spike said, sounding actually cheerful about it, “but what do we do about her?” he pointed to the prone blonde who was not Buffy or Tara. “She’s a werewolf too, remember?”
“Yeah, I remember her too,” Willow said crossly, sitting next to Tara. “She was – or is - Veruca. She was a singer – and a bad one. She tried to all Faith on Oz – I mean, on my- our- this- original Oz – oh, you get the point, right? Anyways-“
“I was not!” Apparently, Veruca had been just stalling before, since she recovered almost straightaway after Willow’s second remark about her singing. “I am actually a very good singer – it’s you, who’s a bad... witch-“
“Actually, she’s quite good, just tends to rush into things and is inconsiderate,” Buffy said from her corner. “Otherwise, well-“
“Would you please stop bashing me?” Willow suddenly turned onto Buffy. “Yes, this version of you is a dragon and a telepath and a Slayer, but seriously, cut me a break?”
Before anyone could answer, there was some strange sound from the outside. Instinctively, everyone (including Veruca) rushed outside, only to see several old school cowboys slash bank robbers flee from Sunnydale PD on horse, firing guns into the air. In addition, their leader’s face was familiar – it was the same face of the chosen of Malar, just recently brained by Buffy, namely Oz.
“Regardless,” Willow turned to Buffy, “I still feel that you’re being unduly harsh-“
It was then that two or three houses across the street collapsed, revealing a huge colony of giant microbe-like creatures, similar to the ones that had attacked “Oz v.2”. These ones, having somewhat armored skins, quickly crawled from beneath the rubbish and down into the nearest sewer opening, dissolving its cover in the process.
“Yes, okay, I goofed badly,” Willow deflated, “but are they going to become a problem?”
“Maybe,” came the thoughtful reply. “Where we can get acid?”* * *
“Okay,” Warren Mears turned to the other two members of the evil trio. “Can we all agree that we did not see that coming?”
Andrew and Jonathan just looked at each other and nodded, without even a token disagreement towards Warren. The plan, initially, was so simple: hire an M’Fashik demon to act a distraction while they rob a bank, and then pay it with the stolen money, end of story. Simple.
Only, as the demon was distracting everyone, in walked five or six people dressed straight from a classical Western movie. Their leader, firing a pistol into the ceiling, declared this was a robbery and everyone hand their money over now.
The demon was not amused and told the newcomers to go straight back to Hollywood, where they belonged.
The newcomers’ leader was not amused either and shot the demon in the head and chest several times.
As far as demons go, the M’Fashiks are not very powerful (when compared to the Fyarls, for example), and so he was shot dead without any fuss, just as if he was a human.
In any case, after this the bank’s staff was quite cooperative with the newcomers, and gave them all the money they asked. True, they called Sunnydale police afterwards, but considering that it was Sunnydale police, it was pure protocol, nothing more.
And speaking of nothing, that was what the trio ended up with – no stolen money and no demon. “So, what do we do?” Jonathan finally spoke up.
“I’m not sure,” Warren confessed, “but I know that they will have to do with those reality tears or whatever,” he pointed to the one in their basement “lair”. Several zombies, clad in WWII military uniforms, were coming through it.