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Miss Slayerette, 2011

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Summary: Buffy and Faith visit McKinley in search of a newly activated Slayer. Hint at femslash, mild language.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > GleeTikiPrincessFR1311,651121,33524 Sep 1224 Sep 12Yes
A/N: Just a little one-shot that popped in my head. No beta, so all mistakes are mine.
Disclaimer: Buffyverse belongs to Joss Whedon. Glee belongs to Ryan Murphy, et al. Songs belong to their respective owners.



Faith winced as Buffy nearly swiped a fire hydrant pulling into the driveway of McKinley High and seriously regretted not taking Dawnie up on her offer. But Lima was only two hours away from Cleveland, a.k.a. Slayer Central, how bad could it be? Very bad, it turned out.

"Next time, I get to drive," Faith said. "And we're taking the motorcycle, B."

"And the likelihood of that happening is never."

"Alright, alright." She didn't need another reminder of her fugitive status. One little traffic violation, and she'd end up in that concrete box. Still, she couldn't help wishing Buffy would loosen up a little. A quarter-ton of engine throbbing metal might be just what she needed to get over her undead exes. Besides, the little blondie looked hot in leather. "So which one of these bitches is Miss Slayerette, 2011?"

"Willow's locator spell pointed to this room, here." Buffy clicked away on the laptop. "According to the school map, it's the choir practice room."

"Slayerette's a singer? Think she can hit a note that makes a vamp's head explode?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Remember, Faith, we're supposed to be scouting for a documentary on – competitive show choirs? Where does Andrew come up with this stuff?"



"Thanks for your help, Mr. Schuester," Buffy said to the guy rockin' the sweater vest. He looked all uptight and shit. From the way he was eyeing B, Faith could tell he hadn't been laid in awhile. "I believe that our producers sent ahead the proper forms. If it's alright with you, we'll just sit in the back and observe the group."

"My money's on the dark-haired cheerleader," whispered Faith. Girl had a way about her that wasn't so much cat-like as it was stalking-jaguar-about-to-rip-your-jugular. Reminded her of herself a bit. "She looks like she'd have no problems shanking a vamp just for the fun of it."

Buffy nodded, but Faith could tell that she wasn't as impressed. Her eyes seemed to be on the short-haired, prissy blonde. Figures, Faith thought, she's picking out a little Mini-B and I'm going for a Mini-Me. Who said typecasting didn't happen in the real world?



Faith had driven this time, equipped with a new ID and clean record. Buffy had, of course, protested, but not too much. Guess getting behind the wheel was the only time B didn't mind not being in control. "When's Red gonna do her whole magical mumbo jumbo?"

"After school, I think. The girls should all be in one place – the choir room – so it'll be easy to spot the glowing ball thing." She frowned. "I just hope that the others don't notice it too much."

"B, were you there for the performance yesterday? They'll probably love it and want to add more sparkles and glitter."

Buffy snorted. It shouldn't have made Faith happy, but B had been so serious since Sunnydale went boom. Faith understood that training new Slayers and Watchers was a full-time gig and all. Didn't mean B had to do it all herself. And maybe I should be helping out a little more.

"Oh, look," said Buffy as they pulled into the parking lot at McKinley High. "That 'Sue' lady is campaigning here today. Have you ever seen her thing on the news? It's hilarious."

Faith zoned out as B kept talking. She didn't see the point in politics or community or whatever. But she followed Buffy to the gym because as much as she enjoyed her independence, she hated being alone.

Everything seemed normal. People were lining up to vote. That 'Sue' lady was standing off to the side with a big, beefy guy fawning over her. Faith didn't know what they were playing at, but there was as much sexual chemistry between them as there was between her and Andrew.

That's when she heard it – the soft sounds of a guitar being strummed, but she couldn't see who was playing. It sounded too clear for it to be piped in from the PA. But it's a high school campus. There had to be at least one wannabe who carried a guitar because he thought he was good or thought it would get him laid.

She could hear a voice, soft and deep, but still feminine, singing the first few strains of "Jolene." Dolly Parton had been one of the staples in the trailer park Faith had grown up in, along with meth and domestic disturbances. She willed away the stinging tears over all that she'd lost or never had. Instead, she turned her gaze to what she thought she'd lost, but still had.

Buffy looked back at her, eyes wide with fear. Faith gave a little nod and they took off, running all the way to the car.

"You don't have the urge to break out into song or tap dance," Buffy asked, "do you?"

Faith raised her eyebrows and slowly shook her head. B looked wild, alternately pacing back and forth, then standing completely still with her eyes closed tight.

"Alright, B, you wanna tell me what's going on? Was it The First?"

"No. This was another demon. The one that got away." She frowned as she recalled her encounter. "Xander made a wish on an amulet that turned Sunnydale into a city-wide musical theater production. Complete with singing and dancing vampires."

"That doesn't sound so bad."

"Except that those musical numbers exposed people's innermost thoughts and emotions and releasing all that caused them to spontaneously combust," said Buffy. Faith shivered at the thought of having her secrets revealed, let alone the idea of doing it in such a cheesy way. "Plus you, um, haven't heard me sing."

"Was that a joke, Miss Serious Slayer?" Faith grinned at Buffy's little smirk. "So, how do we deal with this Bad?"

"That's the problem," she said with a sigh. "We didn't defeat it. I sang a song and started dancing all crazy. Spike came in, did a little reprise, and I stopped. The demon sort of disappeared into thin air when he found out Xander was the one who made the wish, not Dawnie."

"Think we should leave?"

"No. Willow should be doing the spell soon."

Faith could tell that B wanted to leave, but was duty-bound to stay. That's my girl, she thought, always putting others above herself. She wondered what secrets Buffy was afraid of revealing.

"Besides," Buffy continued, "we should probably try to stop him. He was going to make Dawnie his Hell-bride until he realized that Xand made the wish. Decided to waive the marriage clause. I don't want one of these girls to be subjected to that."

"If you promise to cover your ears and close your eyes when I start to sing, I'll do the same."

Buffy nodded. They walked back to the school with strengthened resolve.



Faith turned the corner to see Mini-Her getting picked on my some guy. Her eyes narrowed and her hands balled up into tight fists. As she started towards them, Buffy stopped her with a gentle touch on the shoulder.

"What?" If it had been anyone else, Faith wouldn't have taken the time to ask stupid questions. But it wasn't anyone else.

"I think Mini-You and her friends have it covered."

A gaggle of girls had surrounded the raven-haired cheerleader and started singing "I Kissed A Girl." Buffy immediately covered her ears and closed her eyes, but Faith couldn't. She watched the girls' progress down the hallway, her Slayer senses picking up more than the average watcher.

"You promised," Buffy whispered.

"I promised I'd do it if you started singing," said Faith, smirking. "Besides, I think we're safe. No musical demons here."

"Did you not see them and their breakaway pop hit?"

"Yeah, they weren't half-bad." She nodded to the other students milling about the hallway. "Some of the other students don't agree. Seems like the dorky glee club loves to pull stunts like that all the time and it gets on almost everyone's nerves."

"You mean, it's just the glee club? They're the only ones who are crazy?"

"Yup." Faith was nearly knocked off her feet as Buffy pulled her into a grateful hug.

"You don't know how happy that makes me. God, I could kiss you I'm so happy!"

Faith drew in a sharp breath, knowing that B hadn't really meant it, but still hoping that she'd do it anyways. A friendly, thankful k—

Willow's Slayerball zoomed past them. Faith spared a moment before following Buffy down the hall. They reached the choir room just in time to see it hit the cheerleader. Not Mini-Faith. The ditzy blonde one.

"So," Faith said, "you wanna tell her the good news?"

"That's the girl that does the cat videos Andrew watches."

"Oh." She hadn't seen them, but little D would re-enact some scenes for the benefit of her sister. Or just to annoy her and Giles. "Maybe we come back and get her in a year or two?"

"She, um, believes that the foreign exchange student is a leprechaun. She's documented the tasks she's done for him and talked about the things she'll buy with his gold. Like a unicorn."

"Maybe we let this one slide." Faith could see Buffy debating with herself and losing. "Look, she might be Slayer material, or she might be a weak link. Why not send a Watcher here to train her and get her ready before we take her back to Slayer Central?"

"That's a brilliant idea." Buffy slipped her arm through Faith's as they strolled back to the car. Faith smiled, knowing B couldn't see how happy it made her. "See, I knew there was a reason to keep you around."

The End

You have reached the end of "Miss Slayerette, 2011". This story is complete.

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