The many faces of Buffy: Elements (fire)
Disclaimer: none of the characters are mine, but belong to their respective owners.
The semi-robotic exosuit was beginning to take shape. The self-proclaimed evil trio – Warren, Jonathan and Andrew – were busy re-working an old van (bought at a discount) into a vaguely Autobot-like machine.
So far, as the trio told each other aloud, the main problem was the weapon supply. After they have dealt with the zombies (not that hard, since the reason why zombies want brains is that they lack any of their own), they ended up possessing a large cache of WWII firearms, mostly Brown-ing automatic rifles and MAS-36 rifles. (And also some combat-style knives, but those the trio decided to sell on e-bay as genuine WWII souvenirs instead – they were evil, but didn’t possess any specifically evil ideology, and were in the evil business as much for the cash as they were for the power.) These firearms may have been relatively outdated by the modern standards, but they were still effective, and the trio was still smarting from their latest fiasco at the bank, so, when Warren proposed that they build a warmachine of sorts and use it to rob the bank Andrew and Jonathan eagerly jumped onto the warmachine-building bandwagon and began to build it.
And now, as their garage was full of smoke and sparks and metal and other robot building-related smells, the trio became aware that they have acquired an audience.
“Yes, pal, how can we help you? This is private property,” Warren said firmly, aware that there was something wrong with the newcomer’s appearance, and not just because the trio had been cooped-up in the smoky garage for too long.
“I,” the newcomer said with certain gravity, “am a balrog of Morgoth, and I was wondering what was going on here that was giving up such a lovely smell?”
There was a pause as the trio thought up what they knew about balrogs of Morgoth. Since their nerdishness was on a par with Willow’s, it was quite a lot, and none of it was particularly good towards humanity.
“We’re – we’re building a robot,” Warren managed weakly: the fact that their interlocutor’s eyes burned like two coals was not helping his courage any, either.
“What’s a robot?”
“A war machine.”
“And why are you building a war machine?”
“To rob a bank.”
“To get money.”
“Ah. You’re robbers – that is so human of you!” the balrog said brightly, and not just in a metaphorical manner: on the outside he looked like smoke, but on the inside he was more like fire. “Master Morgoth always thought of you as useful tools, my kin and I – not so much, but I have a feeling that we’ll get along just fine. So, continue building your devices, just remember – if you want or plan to do anything important, run it by me!”
With those words the balrog vanished in a burst of flame and the trio found themselves on their own once more. “Warren,” Andrew said weakly, “I think that we’ve just met our new boss, and I’m scared!”
“So am I, little buddy, so am I.”TBC