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31 Never Was

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This story is No. 1 in the series "Thirty One". You may wish to read the series introduction first.

Summary: 31 things Xander never was.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > Xander-Centered > Ficlet CollectionsLadyAvariceFR153218,57728168,9051 Oct 121 Nov 12Yes

CH 12: Shocking

CH 11 Costume: Dawn Special: Original Characters From the Inheritance Series

AN: I don't know about you, but I sure had fun with that one. And I'm thinking of writing 31 Aftermaths. Could be interesting, no? Enjoy! INCOMING!

"Hey Wills, any ideas?"

"Umm, give me a mo."

If the teen noticed the ghost sheet box tucked under her arm he discretely ignored it. Buffy's fault for loosing concentration with that overly gaudy gown.

"Oh!' Smiling she picked up a white helmet with a green visor over the face.

It took a moment, but when the character reference clicked his grin was huge.

Plus the helmet was on clearance for two bucks. Since he had the rest of the stuff he'd need for the costume he was good to go.

He restrained himself from doing the Snoopy dance in public but from Willow's giggle, she knew he was doing it in his head anyway.

If it made her smile, it was of the good.


"Ma'am, my name isn't Xander."

What had happened here!? It looked like the Big Bang and the meta-freaks had all gone off at once! And where was Static that he couldn't raise him on the shock box?

Giving the girl a nod he started to skate away when he heard a yell that nearly shocked the roller blades off him.


He stopped so fast that he ended up flat on the ground.

"How the heck do you know my name?"

The girl glared, crossed her arms over her chest and started tapping her foot like an upset teacher. Though from her, it was actually guilt inducing.

And he hadn't even done anything yet!

"Listen here, Richie, you are borrowing my best friend's body and if you do anything to damage it, or use it to hurt those kids who got turned into their costumes, I'm going to take a shovel introduce it to your face, and then I'm gonna get creative!"

Shrinking back a little bit Richie thought he'd rather go up against Ebon again than this woman on the warpath. Even though it was obvious she wasn't corporal (a little kid had run through her) he really didn't want to see if she could figure out how to follow through with her threat.

And why did he want to call that expression ResolveFace?

The old garage on the outskirts of Sunnydale had turned out to be a boon. Plenty of equipment to mess with, tons of new things to repair and improve and now that he'd been coming here and considering it his own it was vamp proof!

He was still keeping Sparky though. The robo-dog was great for fetching the tools he needed mid-project.

One last adjustment and….

The device in his hand clittered and chirped before the screen burst into static and slowly cleared into an image. Xander could clearly see the inside of what looked like an abandoned gas station that had obviously seen a few visitors lately.

Now he just had to wait until he showed up.

Surprisingly it came quickly.

"Hiya Richie."

The figure had obviously not seen the miniature wormhole and walked right past it. Until Xander spoke up that is.

He really needed to stop tripping over himself when he got shocked.

"What the heck? Who are you!?"

"Name's Xander, Richie. Think back, Halloween, weird dreams…. that weren't dreams."

The blonde went wide-eyed and jerked back, falling out of his chair.

He was beginning to suspect a trend here.

"Yo, Richie! You ok?"

"He's fine, just shocked."


"I'm getting that a lot today."

"Who the heck are you!?"

"Ask Rich."


"Oh boy."


"Umm, is this geek speak again?"

"Virg, he's in another dimension."

"Wha wha wha?"

"Man, hope Wills doesn't learn that one."

"Hey, wait up. You're that guy from the TV show. Buffy the Vampire….. something or other."


That shocked Xander out of his chair.

"What do you mean TV show!?"

"You're Xander, right? Friends with Willow, Buffy and Giles and all that?"

"Virg, anything I should know?"

Realizing that the show he was talking about wasn't really one he'd ever watched he shrugged.

"Sharon likes the show, thinks he's cute or something."

Richie and Xander both winced.



"Sooooo, how'd this happen? Cuz I know you weren't this techno-smart on the show, that was Willow's thing."

Xander and Richie shared a look.


Virgil's eyes went wide.


And that explained everything.
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