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31 Never Was

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This story is No. 1 in the series "Thirty One". You may wish to read the series introduction first.

Summary: 31 things Xander never was.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > Xander-Centered > Ficlet CollectionsLadyAvariceFR153218,57728168,9051 Oct 121 Nov 12Yes

Ch 4: White Star

CH 3 Costume: Axilimil Esgarouth Isthil from Animorphs

This day was just going to suck in a slayer-basket. Buffy had managed to cause an explosion in a class she didn't even take with him, getting chemicals all over. Including him.

He'd been hearing jibes about his new 'blonde patch' all day. And really the 'star' jokes were so overdone! He could be grateful that it was just that one spot that was hit, unlike that football player's eyes. But still!

And then he'd been roped into that trick-or-treat trash by the troll.

Finally, he couldn't even go as a soldier since a kid grabbed the last gun.

Now what was he going to do!?

Just as he was about to stomp out in disgust he spotted a fake katana at the bottom of the bin, near the back. Under it was a black Asian dragon tattoo. Suddenly his eyes lit up. If they just had… yes, yes they did! A few bandages, spike his hair up and that black jacket in the back of his closet …. he could make this work!

"Hey Buff, do you happen to have that little tube of hair gel? Got my costume and I forgot to get it earlier."

The slayer huffed and dug it out of her purse before going back to gushing over the gown.

He'd let that slide, he had a costume!


Getting no answer the black clothed figure huffed and took in his surroundings.


He turned, eyeing the spirit in front of him and decided he really didn't want to know how she died.

"I am not Xander."

He went to walk away when what she was muttering to herself registered.

"Oh my gosh we've been turned into our costumes."

"Onna, what did you say?"

Willow gulped and started to tell him what happened.

Across town, one particular chaos mage started to get very, very nervous.

Graduation Day:

Xander grinned as the mayor's Ascension started. Willow and Buffy quickly urged the parents and teachers to flee, locking the doors behind them.

But not before the mayor managed to grab and eat a rather trollish principal. Xander and his resident both found that oddly amusing and highly gratifying.

Now he stood, one teenage boy with weird hair, facing a 60 foot snake, looking like the world had just handed him the largest box of Twinkies ever.

The look of confusion on the reptilian face was great.

"Hiya Mayor. Bet you're wondering where your army of vamps is, huh? Well, we had a bit of a disagreement. Really, you should work with more intelligent people."

The giant snake hissed and turned towards the boy. He had planned this day carefully for over a century, how had this boy foiled it?

"And here's another thing, mayor, dragon trumps snake."

With that he leapt into the air, well over the reach of the snake as the bandages fell from his arm.

The transformed mayor watched as black flames leapt at him and only had time to regret letting him live prior to that chaotic Halloween before he was burnt to less than ash.
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