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31 Never Was

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This story is No. 1 in the series "Thirty One". You may wish to read the series introduction first.

Summary: 31 things Xander never was.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > Xander-Centered > Ficlet CollectionsLadyAvariceFR153218,57728168,9151 Oct 121 Nov 12Yes

Ch 5: Dreams and Honor

CH 4 Costume: Hiei Jangashi from Yu Yu Hakusho

Xander was racking his brains, trying to think up what he could make out of a pair of black cargo pants, black boots, and an old turtleneck sweater. The camo army pants he'd been going to use were useless thanks to his drunken father and there weren't any toy guns left by the time he'd made it to the costume shop. The pants, turtleneck and boots were his last resort.

At the bottom of the bargain bin a bit of white caught his eye.

There were two angel wings, different sets, both for the right side. Slowly an idea began to form. He could use a chunk of that cardboard box in the basement and some foil, grab the suspenders from the back of his closet, comb his hair down, and….

"Hey sir?"

The shop owner spun around to look at him.

"Do you happen to have any pale blue contacts?"

"Xander! Don't kill them!"

He spun on the spot, huge sword balanced easily in his hands. The girl looked young but why was she transparent?

"My name isn't Xander, miss. And they're monsters."

"No! They're little kids who got turned into their costumes! And what do you mean….? Oh no, you got changed into your costume too."

The SOLDIER listened as she explained and followed after her as she ran through town. He was casting Sleepel left and right. Thankfully it worked.

Xander walked down the hallway after school ended for the day. He stood straighter now and seemed weighed down at the same time.

He remembered everything from the First Class. The experiments, the pain, the unrelenting guilt. Memories were brightened by the thought of his student, growing from boy to man and becoming a true SOLDIER in his own right.

Reaching the library he greeted everyone, now dark blue eyes doing a scan, making sure everyone was alright. Walking over to the weapons cage he pulled out his belt and harness, the giant sword easily resting on his back.

As he turned to retie a shoelace he caught Giles' expression, caught somewhere between pride and sorrow. A small smile and a nod later and he was heading out the door. Buffy never patrolled alone anymore.

Xander remembered a man who believed in pride, and honor, and dreams. Now glowing eyes turned skyward as wings manifested and stretched.

Few would ever really understand just how important dreams and honor were.

So much lost but waiting there to be regained. Dreams gave life a purpose, a direction. Honor gave value to the actions towards that purpose. He understood now.

And he would not let a good man's dreams die.

He couldn't help the man, the warrior, the brother, the hero, much as he wished he could. His story was already written. But his wasn't and he could embrace the honor and the dreams and make sure that someday, another student would pick up the mantle and continue the dream.

Smiling he stretched his wings…

And flew.
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