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31 Never Was

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This story is No. 1 in the series "Thirty One". You may wish to read the series introduction first.

Summary: 31 things Xander never was.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > Xander-Centered > Ficlet CollectionsLadyAvariceFR153218,57728168,9011 Oct 121 Nov 12Yes

Ch 6: Slagging Glitch

CH 5 Costume: Angeal Hewley from Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core

Xander blinked as he spotted the vest lying on top of the last toy gun. Curiosity made him pick it up, flipping it over to inspect it.

"Ah, the Ranger vest."

"GAH! Don't do that!"

One hand was over the teen's heart, the other still clutching the vest.

"Sorry, thought you heard me."

"No problem, just a little jumpy with the girls here."

Quirking an eyebrow the man turned and saw the two females twittering over the gown, and winced.

"Ah, understood. Tell you what, I need to get rid of that vest and you, it appears, need to get out of here. How about the vest and the gun for two dollars?"

Grinning, Xander happily handed over the cash before leaving, idly making note that the name on the vest started with 'Len'.

"Fragging son of a glitch!"

The Army Ranger ducked behind a telephone pole as one of the little monsters ran past.

"First giant scorpions, then robots, now monsters?"


Acting on instinct he swung around, bringing his gun up to bare on the target…

And nearly passed out when it went right through her.

"Slag, I need a raise."

Xander walked down the street, determinedly not noticing the black GMC pickup following him. It had been two weeks since Halloween and now he knew more that he wished he could forget.

Wasn't dropping the Hellmouth on someone's head enough!?

"Hey, kid."

Sighing he stopped and finally turned to face the truck.

"One, my name is Xander, two, even you might attract attention in this town with no driver and three, you'd better have some cash on you so I can eat something while we have the 'talk' you're so obviously wanting to have with me."

The truck's brake's screeched a bit as they slammed on. In the driver's seat a figure suddenly materialized.

"Even with what Will told me, I expected you to be more surprised."

"Sorry, trigger-happy, you missed that mark by a few months."

This was going to be a looooooong talk.

Why couldn't Big Bot have handled this one?
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