Disclaimer: I do not own 'Wall-E' or 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer'.
Wall-E trundled past the giant rubbish tower, his broken tread clicker-clacking against the warm concrete. He stopped suddenly and clicker-clacked backwards. His head turned to the right and his optics drooped towards the sides in astonishment.
That hadn’t been there yesterday.
The green-swirly-thingy, what was it? Wall-E had never seen something so, so green before. Cockroach chirped on his shoulder and the little robot threw his arms up in fear before hiding behind a stack of tires. There was mooooooooooovement. He hummed the word to himself as it crossed his internal sensors and whatever had come out of the green-swirly-thingy turned towards his hiding spot. Wall-E cowered and cubed. Light thuds, like the sound of small-shiny-Coke-things rolling across the road in the wind, were recorded by his audio sensors. The thuds grew louder before they stopped. Wall-E shivered. Something poked his casing and in a blind fear, Wall-E erupted from his cube form! He began to race away from the different-thing but his broken tread tripped him and he fell flat on the floor.
“Yo, B, not a threat!” Wall-E’s optical senses perked up. They were like BarnabyTucker and CorneliusHackl from the moving pictures in his living quarters. They were huuuuumans.
A sudden movement made the little robot cry out. The huuuuuman had set him upright!
“Sorry, little guy. Didn’t mean to scare you like that buddy.” Wall-E looked up at the dark huuuuuuuuman standing over him and reached his grabbing-thing up, like he’d seen BarnabyTucker do. She, and Wall-E had consulted his database to find the right word, reached down and shook his grabbing-thing; exactly like CorneliusHackl had done.
The excitement caused Wall-E to reach his other grabbing-thing up and shake her hand with excitement, chirping happily. The huuuuuman made another sound which his audio sensors thought sounded like small-metal-things trickling down his job-well-done towers. She gently took her hand away and Wall-E drooped, he must have been doing it wrong, not like BarnabyTucker or CorneliusHackl at all. He turned and began to clicker-clack away slowly; he needed another ground-roller anyway.
“Oh hey! C’mon little guy, I’m sorry. Why don’t you shake hands with my friends?”
Wall-E stopped. Hands? What was that strange word? Did she mean his grabbing thing? The little robot turned in a slow circle to face the dark huuuuuuuuman. She had been joined by other shes’ and some hes’. He rolled over carefully. He stopped next to the dark huuuuuman and looked at her friends.
They were all different. Their optical sensors were many other colors and the casing for their optical sensors were also different; one’s looked like she had once been a dark huuuuuuman but it had become a colour like the flat-rubbish-less place beyond Wall-E’s work-place or like the big-heat-source Wall-E set his work by. Another huuuuman, with optical sensor casing like old-metal-easy-to-cube, started to make a sound that Wall-E couldn’t quite understand.
“What Wills? What’s so funny?” asked the should-be-dark huuuuuman. Wills-huuuuman kept making the weird sound and didn’t reply. Oh! The sound was like BarnabyTucker when he was expressing happiness! Wall-E consulted his words and found the word laughing. Laughing? Was that what she was doing called?
“Yes, I’m laughing, Wall-E,” said Wills-huuuuuuuuman. Wall-E shrieked. She had responded to his me-I-internal-server! Huuuuuuumans should not do that! The little robot cubed himself in fear and Wills-huuuuuuuuman stopped laughing.
“Oh, I’m sorry Wall-E. I didn’t mean to freak you out. Um, you’re data is out of date when it comes to humans.” Wall-E lifted one of his optical sensors; his me-I-internal-server calculated her words. That was…possible. He had not seen huuuuuumans for a very long time, as long as it had taken him to make all of his job-well-done towers. He lifted the other optical sensor, Wills-huuuuuuuuman was expressing sadness. He reached up his grabbing-thing-hand and put pressure on her hand. She shook it but was still expressing sadness so Wall-E clicker-clacked to the nearest pile and began searching for something to make her express happiness instead. His audio sensors continued to pick up the words behind him.
“Oh, Buffy. He’s been alone for hundreds of years. There are no human beings here at all.”
“Oh no, Wills! Don’t even think about it. We’ve obviously got the wrong dimension here and we are not, I repeat not, taking home a robot.”
“Aw, why not B? The little guy’s cute.”
“Okay, disturbed now, officially by Faith saying the c-word.” It was one of the hes’, Wall-E ignored him and went back to looking.
“Hey, I’ll show you the c-word, Cyclops. Just gimme a reason!” The dark-huuuuuuman was expressing anger but it was at a he and as Wall-E had learned from BarnabyTucker, that was within defined parameters.
“Children calm!” It was another he. “Although, I do agree with Faith, the little fellow is quite, oh, winsome in his own expressive way.”
“The blonde cheerleader act isn’t going to work forever, B, but hey, G-man agrees with me; the little guy is cute! C’mon, can’t Red at least see if we can take him back with us?” Wall-E chirped in excitement as he pulled the item out of the pile; this would make Wills-huuuuuuman feel better. He trundled back over to Wills-huuuuuuman and held up the item in his grabbing-thing-hand. It was a fan. Only it stuck in the ground and Wall-E didn’t think a she would use it but, it was shiny. Wills-huuuuuuuuuuuman took it with her hand and smiled at him happily.
“Nah, we can’t take him with us.” The should-be-dark huuuuuuman’s optical sensors grew smaller.
“Uh, Willow? Why are you smiling then?” Wills-huuuuuuuuman patted Wall-E’s optical sensors and moved away from Wall-E, so that the little robot was facing the should-be-dark huuuuuuman.
“Meet this world’s champion.” The entire group of huuuuuuuuumans went quiet.
“You mean?” Wills-huuuuuman nodded and expressed happiness. Wall-E chirped happily at the sight. The should-be-dark huuuuman became smaller and her hand reached out to Wall-E. He trundled forward and used his grabbing-thing-hand to shake her hand. “Hey, Wall-E right?” Wall-E nodded his optical sensors. “My name’s Buffy. It’s good to meet you.”
Wall-E never saw those huuuuuumans again. They went back through their green-swirly-thingy and the green-swirly-thingy disappeared. Wall-E never lost the data of their visit and he made sure to back up the data several times so he never erase them from his data banks or what Wills-huuuuuuman had said to him before they left.
“Don’t worry Wall-E, you won’t be alone for long.”