The characters of the Alien and the Predator are property of 20th century Fox. All characters from the Buffyverse are Property of Joss Whedon. Everything else belongs to me.
Buffy sat across from the Predator looking at the creature. It was a big monster well over six feet tall with thick muscles and broad shoulders. Buffy was glad she didn’t have to fight her. She didn’t know if she could take the Predator in a fair fight.
“She could hunt you, find you and gut you for fun.” The memory of Hive said to Buffy.
“She could try.” Buffy thought back as she looked around the ship. It was one of the dozens held by Andorra’s flag ship. The ship was gold, gun metal grey and shaped like an arrowhead. It had defensive, offensive and stealth technology. It held over ten thousand square feet of living area. It was all powered by matter-antimatter reactions.
Buffy was pressed deep into the oversized cushions of the passenger seat. She was strapped into a seat made for someone much larger and heavier than her. She felt tiny and lost in it. Her feet dangled in the air, they didn’t even touch the deck. The ship was blasting free of Sunnydale at well over three gees. The California countryside rapidly dwindled beneath them. After the blue sky had turned black, Andorra cut the engines and let the ship coast into a low Earth orbit. She swiveled her chair around to face Buffy. Andorra stared at the slayer. She had watched as Buffy had killed an undead Queen with her bare hands. She had seen the holographic recording of her killing Barik Null. She had fought side by side with Buffy against the hordes of Illyria. The Buffy Summers must be the greatest hunter in the cursed place.
“I guess she has to be.” Andorra thought.
The Yautja knew the true history of the Earth. They knew that billions of years ago it was a part of the big playground. They knew that Earth was once part of the Yautja solar system but was moved by the Old Ones here. That’s why they came. As far as the Yautja were concerned, the Earth was still part of their hunting grounds. Andorra suddenly turned back to her command console. Her fingers ran over the keyboard. She was checking the Exchange. The Exchange was the planetary network of computers that kept score of all official hunts. She punched up Buffy’s score and pressed a button. The translation computers kicked in.
“Two million, eight hundred thousand.” Andorra said. Buffy looked at her. “Your score is Two million, eight hundred thousand.”
“Is that good?” Buffy asked. She didn’t have a clue about the Predator scoring system.
“Depends on your end game.” Andorra said. “It’s enough for a couple of round trips to the home world and some sweet weapons.” Buffy grinned. The translation computers had picked up some human slang. Andorra pressed a few buttons on the console. A holographic catalog of weapons appeared in the air. The catalog rotated. Buffy could see various tools for cutting and piercing flesh. There were a wide assortment of grenades and plasma based weapons. Something appeared on the screen that caught her eye.
“Stop!” Buffy said. She pointed to the hologram. Rotating in the air was a dead copy of the scythe. The Predator version had a black and grey blade. There was gold writing along the length of the shaft. Andorra looked at the scythe Buffy held. It was a near perfect copy of the one in the Predator catalog.”
“Is this one acid proof too?” Buffy asked.
“Yes.” Said Andorra. “It can resist the blood of the Plague. “
“Do you guys hunt vampires?” Buffy asked as she thought to herself “What the hell have the Guardians been up to?”
“The unnatural are very rare and bring many points. The exact history of this weapon is unknown. It was forged on the home world thousands of years ago. No one has ever claimed or used it. When we hunt the unnatural we have other weapons. I am proud to say that I hunted the phantom of the warship planet. I trapped it on the ringed world and exterminated it.”
Buffy’s jaw dropped. Her eyes were big. “You did that! You were the one that blew up Jupiter” She said. Then it hit her. “You killed the First!”
“Yes.” said Andorra. “Even after the expense of the planet killer I still had a net score of nearly half a billion points. Of course, that does not include my share of the points earned assisting my brother kill the senior partners.”
“The Senior…” Buffy’s voice trailed off. She remembered meeting a Yautja in the lobby of the Wolf Ram and Hart building when she was Hive.
“That was your brother!” she exclaimed.
“You’ve met?” Andorra was smart. She figured it out. The only other person in the Wolf Ram and Hart building at the time of the assault was a beast of incredible power, a beast that had torn her fleet apart with her bare hands, a beast that had torn open space itself and threatened to kill millions of her kinsmen in a hellish vacuum energy fire.
“LEAVE THIS PLANET AND NEVER RETURN IN FORCE AGAIN!
That voice still haunted her. Andorra reached for a curved blade. She pressed a stud. The blade expanded to its full two foot length. She slowly turned towards Buffy. Andorra watched Buffy’s face as she worked it out. When she did they looked at each other for long moments. Buffy pointed to the Null family crest burned into her cheek.
“For the duration of the hunt.” She said. Reluctantly, Andorra put the blade away. She would deal with the slayer later. Buffy stood.
“Hey, you got a bathroom around here anywhere?” She asked. “I gotta wash all this hellmouth dirt off of me.” Andorra pointed to the hallway.
Buffy could tell this was a girl’s ship. The bathroom was excellent. It was larger than her bedroom back home plus it held a huge array of soaps and disinfectants, first aid and surgical kits. There was something over in the corner that looked like a toilet. It was huge. She would have to figure out a way to use it without falling into it. Buffy found something soft enough to use to wash her face. The cloth felt weird. It vibrated against her skin. The nanobots in the quick repair patch not only cleaned her skin but made minor repairs at the cellular level. Over the sink was a mirror. Buffy tugged at the edge of the mirror. It opened to reveal even more strange bottles full of strange liquids.
“I wonder what sort of conditioner she uses to keep those dreadlocks so clean and manageable?” Buffy grinned as she slammed the medicine cabinet shut. Willow stood behind her. Her hair was stringy and dirty from the shallow grave they had placed her in. The side of her face was gone. White bone jutted out of ribbons of torn flesh. Buffy remembered what she tasted like. Her mouth filled with the memory of the dry gamey taste of Willow’s flesh. There was blood on her clothing. Buffy turned. Willow was still there. A million tiny ants crawled in Buffy’s stomach. Willow spoke.
.” She said. Her voice sounded thick and distorted. Buffy had eaten the vocal cords. Slowly Buffy extended her hand towards the rotten image of Willow.
“In the cold waste!
” Willow screamed. She exploded into a cloud of dust. Buffy just stood there.
When she returned to the control room Buffy appeared calm. She was anything but calm. Buffy had just finished washing the dead flesh of her dead friend off of her skin. She could tell by the smell that it was no phantom. That was Willow. Buffy understood the message. She informed Andorra. The ship turned and set a course for Kadath in the cold arctic waste.