Disclaimer: I do not own the BtVS series or the Borderlands game series,
Timeline: End of season 5 of BtVS and a little bit before and during Borderlands 2.
Note: Andrew is probably going to be a new class in this story.
Andrew moaned as someone tapped him on the head and said, “Hey kid, wake up.”
“Hmm?” Andrew coughed as he got up, acrid and hot air burned his lungs as he blinked almost owlishly at the person, the guy was wearing dirty clothes and animal hides and had a crazy looking smile on his face.
“Ah, good,” the man said, “You’re up, I found you lying on the side of the road, you’re lucky I’m such a nice guy; anyone else would’ve let you get eaten by the Skags.”
Andrew looked around curiously and asked, “Where am I?”
“You don’t know?” The man asked seriously, “You have no idea?”
“No,” Andrew said as he got up, “Where am I?”
“Heh,” the man said laughing, “Someone play a practical joke on you I bet? Maybe a pretty woman or,” As he looked at Andrew, “A pretty boy bought you a drink and you passed out and they brought you here to Pandora as a joke, it's happened before.”
Andrew looked out and saw a vast wasteland and gulped uneasily.
The man smiled and said, “Not so bad here; mind the skags, the bandits oh and pretty much everything on this planet will eat you and then there’s Handsome Jack; he’ll shoot you dead if you cross him. Oh and welcome to Pandora.”
“Oh god!!” Andrew mumbled as he sat on the ground, his head buried in his hands, this was so messed up he couldn’t even believe it, he must’ve died and got sent to hell or something like that when the sky opened up.
“Hey,” the man said in a cheerful voice, “You know what? I like you kid and tell you what, I’ll teach you how to survive and you could one day join the Crimson Raiders, yeah? First, let’s get you some good clothes as these clothes make you look like a pansy, second, I think guns, it shall be fun I think.”
Over the next few weeks Andrew stayed with the madman, as he called the guy, on this planet called Pandora, he despised the world as it was hot, miserable and cruel but the man, true to his word, had taught him how to shoot and stuff like that, he even taught him a few tricks that would save him in the long run.
One day the madman came in and laughed, “There’s another vault out there that’s better than the other one supposedly,” he looked at Andrew and said, “Kid, you might want to hunt it, become a vault hunter, it might have a way for you to get off this rock.”
“Sure,” Andrew said softly, plus he’d get away from the madman too.
“Wait, before you go,” the madman said, “I’ve got a present; I thought you’d need some backup or something like that so I got the biggest, most badass Skag I could find, tamed it, by which I meant to say that I beat it senseless and got it to somehow imprint it on you using your scent or it might just hate you and bite your head off.”
The creature walked out and Andrew frowned, he had shot a few of these things before but he never seen an albino one before, especially with a pink collar, a heart shaped dog tag and was that an even pinker bowtie on her neck?
“I call ‘er Peppermint,” the madman said happily, “She’s a good pet, of course don’t forget to feed her, okay?”
Andrew nodded nervously as he walked out, ‘This train was going to be in one of the nearby settlements soon,’ he thought as he walked out, followed by Peppermint who looked at him almost eagerly. Andrew hesitantly put his hands on her head and scratched gently and she nuzzled him.
Andrew wondered, ‘What the heck did that madman do to tame her?’
He ignored the looks he got walking into town with Peppermint, ’Of course that could be,’ he thought, ‘The rather embarrassing collar she has on, I’m so going to get her a real collar later and for that matter how did they know she was a girl?’
One of the men walked over and said, “So you going vault hunting? You look like it.”
As he sat at the station where the train was supposedly to come and pick him up he started to think; he didn’t know what a vault really was, other than the madman’s tale of what happened five years ago and then when Handsome Jack came in and took over the planet. Andrew looked up seeing the giant space station in the shape of an capital H hovering in front of the moon and thought that was a bit much
As the train raced down towards the station stop Andrew realized that he couldn’t believe he was doing this but these vaults supposedly held alien tech and maybe one of them held a way to get home for him. As the train stopped he got up to get into it and felt anxious.
He stepped onto the train and saw a few other people looking at him and he sat down while the others eyed him curiously, one of them looked at Peppermint and said, “Cute Skag man.”
“Umm, thanks, I guess,” Andrew said as he scratched Peppermint’s head absently.
As they sat talking the others invited Andrew to talk about what he’d do with the riches or where he was from, he told them he was from Earth which got everyone laughing and the one closest to him, Axton, told him that they were going to get along just fine with his sense of humour.
Maya watched the boy curiously, the others thought it was a joke but she sensed no lies coming from the boy, maybe he was confused or something like that.
Andrew sat back in the train when the sign he had noticed while coming into the train that said: Welcome vault hunters
suddenly fell down and the sign under it said: To your doom
and written under it was: No hard feelings
Axton moved first ordering the rest to follow suit while he suddenly deployed a turret and pulling out a big gun, Andrew fired into one of the robot things while Peppermint dashed up and ripped one of the soldier’s arms off and suddenly tore into one of the robots.
Andrew looked pale, ’I honestly didn’t think there would be this much blood,’ he thought as he shot again, the guy, Zer0, moved behind him, pointed to the front of the train and nodded
Maya used some sort of magic or something to stop one guy as they ran towards the door where this Handsome Jack was supposedly, Andrew grabbed his pistol and as Axton kicked the door down they saw a dummy of the guy sitting in a pile of explosives, the dummy said something he couldn’t understand but it sounded kinda delusional.
“Let’s go guys!!” Axton yelled and he kicked the door out, grabbed Andrew and gestured for the others to follow suit, as they jumped out Andrew felt the first explosion rock the train and cursed for like the first time ever as they fell into the snow.
As Andrew lay there he felt horrible, he felt like absolute shit, this place was way worse than Sunnydale could hope to be on it’s worse day and what was worse he lost his damned guns. He saw a little robot come and say something about him, he froze when the robot yelled, “You’re not dead!? Hooray!! Here, let me help you up.”
Andrew got up and looked around, the robot said, “You’re my ticket off this glacier, well you, your friend and your… pet?”
As Andrew looked he saw Axton crawl out from a piece of metal and Peppermint dig herself out of the snow when the robot handed him something and said, “It’s a gift, by which I mean to say I pulled it off one of the dead Vault hunters.”
Andrew put the small thing on and frowned, the madman had told him about these things, ECHOnet communicators, he winced as the device synched with him, he was about to check on Axton and Peppermint when a woman suddenly appeared in his vision and said, “Don’t be alarmed Andrew, I’m here to help you.
What the hell!?” Andrew sputtered in surprise, “Who’re you?”
The woman smiled and said, “I’m called by some the Guardian Angel and that strange and funny little robot is your ticket off this glacier and to Sanctuary, it’s the only place you’ll be safe.
Andrew looked at the robot and muttered, “Fuck,” as he rubbed his head, he was getting a headache.
Peppermint grunted as if agreeing with him.
How should Pandora change Andrew? Should Andrew bring Peppermint back home? Should Andrew get more of Pandora’s unique “pets”? Did I get the unique sense of humour of the games?
Note: Zer0’s name is not misspelled in this story, that is how his name was written in the game but if it is wrong please let me know.
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