I own and make no claims on any characters or story concepts from Buffy the Vampire Slayer nor any other recognizable characters or story concepts. They belong solely to their copyright holders and I thank them for being allowed to play with their toys.
“AARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!” The anguished scream was still echoing through the halls of the Cleveland Slayer house when young girls, many wearing little if anything, one clad only in soap bubbles from her shower, streamed out of their rooms blinking sleep from their eyes. All were heavily armed and ready for battle with whatever was the cause of the terrible sound.
“Xander’s office!” someone yelled and the girls rushed en mass towards the door at the end of the hall. The first girl to arrive kicked the heavy oak door splintering it and tearing out a large portion of the surrounding wall. From inside the office could be heard the sounds of someone sobbing as if their very soul had been ripped away. A murmur of concern moved through the crowd of girls as they recognized Xander’s voice as the one sobbing so forlornly. Andrew, alerted by the commotion started to push his way through the copious amounts of nubile flesh trying to reach the office and see what had happened to the beloved leader of the local Slayer house.
Xander knelt on the floor of his office, his hands pulling at his hair and a look of the most profound loss and suffering on his face. Andrew asked what was wrong but all Xander could do was point at the computer screen on his desk. Keeping an eye on the still sobbing Xander Andrew moved around the desk to see what could have caused his friend’s anguish. His mouth fell open as a look of shock passed over his face making the girls push further in to the office to see what was wrong.
“Oh, Xander. I’m so, so sorry,” Andrew said as he turned the monitor so that the girls could see. On the screen was the headline that had caused Xander to feel a loss beyond any he could imagine.
“Twinkies dead. Hostess closed doors after 82 years.”