Disclaimer: I own none of the characters from the Buffy verse or the Marvel Avengers Movie verse...
This takes place at the end of the Thor movie.
The very loud sound of the Scooby-Doo theme song broke the silence that had fallen after the bifrost has closed. Even the SHIELD agents gave a small start to stare at the owner of the phone.
"Crap," Darcy muttered.
Jane raised an eyebrow. "You really think they wouldn't notice?"
"I hoped," Darcy said with a pout.
"We took your cell phone," Agent Coulson pointed out.
Jane shook her head. "You better answer. You know what will happen if you don't."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Darcy replied as she slipped an older model cell phone out of her pocket.
Coulson whirled to point at one of his junior agents. "Did you not search her?"
Darcy rolled her eyes as she answered the phone. "This is Darcy."
"Sir, there was no cell phone on her person or among her effects, sir," the junior agent replied, a bit wide-eyed.
"It's magic," Darcy told the agents before turning back to her phone. "Yes, I'm listening. But... I didn't...." She kept trying to interrupt the ranting on the other end of the phone. "Look!" she finally exclaimed. "How was I to know that the drunk idiot I tasered was actually the Norse God of Thunder?"
One of the agents strode forward. "That's classified," he stated as he reached for her phone.
Without looking, Darcy grabbed the agent by the wrist and held him at arms length.
"Sir, I can't release her grip," the agent said as he tried to pry her fingers open with his free hand.
Darcy continued to rant into the phone, ignoring the agent she held captive. "And, how was I to know that said god, and yes, his name really is Thor, would end up fighting a giant, alien robot? I was fine. I didn't go near the robot. I helped evacuate the town."
Coulson quirked an eyebrow as Darcy quietly listened to whatever the person on the other end of the phone said.
"Do I have to?" Darcy whined. "But, I don't want to work with SHIELD. Yes, I do want to keep working with Jane. Okay, fine. I get it. Talk to you later."
Closing the cell phone and putting it back into her pocket, she turned to her captured agent. "It's rude to try to take a person's phone when they're on it." Letting the agent go, she turned to Jane. "They're not very happy with me."
"I bet," Jane said with a smile of encouragement. "So?"
"You're going to continue your bridge research, and there's no way SHIELD won't help you with that," Darcy said before turning to Coulson. "Is there?"
"SHIELD sees that Dr Foster's research is a valuble avenue to study," Coulson replied.
"Yeah.... Right," Darcy said before taking a deep breath. Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out a business card. "Thor wasn't the only one not being totally honest with you. I'm Darcy Lewis, semi-retired Slayer of the New Watchers Council," she said as she handed Agent Coulson the card. "You can call the Council at that number to get my credentials."
"Semi-retired?" Coulson asked as he pocketed the card.
"You're not retired until you're dead," Darcy said with a shrug before sighing. "I really just wanted to be normal."
Jane patted her on the shoulder. "Honey, you taser vampires for fun."
Darcy gave a quick flash of a grin. "It's awesome when they burst into flames. Plus, it gives you time to mug them before staking."
"What's going on?" Erik asked, joining the conversation, looking very confused.
"We'll explain on the way back to town," Darcy replied. "I'm just hoping Norse Gods are the most exciting thing in my life from now on."
I have no idea where this came from...
I'm basing this of the Buffy tv series only, as that is how for into cannon I got. So, I'm jumping off from there.