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Five Times Darcy Almost Saved the Day...

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This story is No. 4 in the series "Darcy Lewis, Vampire Slayer (Semi-Retired)". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: Five times Darcy almost had to reveal she was a Slayer... And the time the Avengers finally found out.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Marvel Universe > Avengers > Darcy-CenteredNinjababeFR1367,43222430,00218 Nov 1218 Nov 12Yes

Demons: 0, Darcy: 2 million... Oh, Hi Guys!

Demons: 0, Darcy: 2 million... Oh, Hi Guys!

"It's not fair," Darcy pouted at Jane.

Looking up from her computer screen, Jane sighed. After she glanced at the clock on the wall, she reached over and turned the monitor off. "What's wrong?"

"You're getting into scheduled girl talk without me forcing you!" Darcy wiped a fake tear from her eye. "My little girl is all grown up!"

Jane rolled her eyes. "Darcy, what's not fair?"

"You have all these great stories about living at Stark/Avengers Tower. Every day is full of wonder and excitement. Plus some great eye candy. And, then there is my life. I'm nothing but an assistant to a, granted awesome, scientist. My life, it is boring."

"Darcy, you spar with SHIELD agents, you're playing battleship via email with Tony Stark, you have hide and seek competitions with Clint and Natasha, super-spies, you're a..."

"Uh uh!" Darcy interrupted, wagging a finger at the other woman. "No mention of that word in this building. At all."

"Oh," Jane looked a little sheepish. "Sorry."

"The walls have ears," Darcy mock whispered as she looked around their new lab in the basement of SHIELD headquarters wide eyed.

"Yes they do," a male voice stated from the doorway of the lab. "And, I know all."

"Gah!" both women exclaimed as they turned towards the voice.

"Coulson!" Darcy yelled.

"You're late with this week's reports, Ms. Lewis," Coulson said.

"I am not," Darcy replied. "I have an hour more to go. If you want them now, you can take them. Otherwise, this time is scheduled to talk with Jane, so vamoose."

"I'll see you within an hour then," Coulson stated before turning around and leaving the lab.

"Why doesn't he just take the reports now?" Jane asked.

"Because, he'll want a report on me personally, and his office is the only room he can be one hundred percent sure isn't bugged. Even there, we don't use that word," Darcy replied with a shrug. "Now then, where were we? Oh yes, your oh so fabulous life and my dull doldrums of an existence."

"You just want to come to movie night," Jane said with a grin.

Darcy gave a grin back. "Darn tootin!"

"Fine," Jane waved a hand before turning back to her monitor. Turning it back on, she continued, "You can have my spare room that night."

"Yay!" Darcy jumped from her seat and clapped her hands a few times. Grabbing the pile of reports, she wandered off to give her weekly account to her Watcher.


After changing into dark red sweatpants covered with fluffy white sheep, and a large smiley face with horns t-shirt, Darcy checked that her taser was properly placed in the holster between her breasts, and that the slim stake holstered in the small of her back wouldn't bother her. A nagging feeling told her they might be necessary. "I'm not having the dreams," she muttered to herself. "I'm not." Giving herself as shake, she sauntered out of Jane's guest room to wait for her friend.

A few minutes later, Darcy and Jane were chatting amicably as they walked to the media room Tony had set up for movie night.

"So, what are we watching?" Darcy asked with a bounce as she entered.

"Lord of the Rings," Bruce replied, waving a DVD case in the air.

"Uh... No," Darcy stated, reaching for the case.

"You have an objection to Lord of the Rings?" Tony asked with a smirk from his armchair.

"This isn't the extended version. It would be like starting a Star Wars virgin with episode one. Blasphemy!" Darcy exclaimed, the DVD case raised in the air.

"Umm... Okay..." Clint replied from his position on the couch. "Then, what shall we watch?"

Darcy grinned and pulled a box set out from where she had hidden it earlier. "Indiana Jones anyone?"

They were forty-five minutes through 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' when Darcy felt antsy, like something was about to happen. She furtively glanced around as she repositioned herself on the couch. Instead of sprawling, she was sitting at attention, anticipating something happening.

"What's wrong?" Natasha asked, curious.

"Nothing," Darcy replied distractedly as she tried to look casual.

A plate glass window across the room shattered as a green demon holding a sword appeared. "You all die," the demon growled out.

Darcy blurred into action, hopping over the back of the couch with one arm as she removed the stake from it's holster with the other. Rushing forward, she dodged the demon's sword thrust and kicked him with all her might in the knee.

As he staggered towards the ground, she quickly rammed the stake into the red jewel in the center of the demon's forehead, her left forearm blocking his sword arm from swinging at her again.

As the demon fell over, dead instantly, Darcy took a deep breath then crowed, "Hah! I did too study the classification manuals! Go me!" Turning around with a grin, she saw Jane with her face in her hands and the rest of the room looking shocked. "Oh, shit."

Jane sighed deeply, then pulled out her cell phone. "Agent Coulson, you need to come to the Tower. We've had a Council related incident." Nodding at Coulson's reply, she put her phone away. "He'll be here in fifteen minutes," she told the room.

"Darcy?" Steve asked.

"Uh, yeah?" Darcy replied, trying to look innocent.

Clint looked at the dead body, wide-eyed. "What the hell!"

"I'm waiting for Coulson to show up," Darcy replied, crossing her arms over her chest. "Until then, I plead the fifth."

"You can only plead the fifth in court," Tony pointed out before gulping his scotch.

Natasha looked pensive. "Very nice technique."

"You knew about whatever is going on, didn't you?" Bruce asked Jane, who shook her head.

"We wait for Coulson," Jane replied.

An awkward silence fell until Coulson entered the room. Staring at the dead demon, he sighed before looking at Darcy. "Tasing a god, and breaking the nose of another, wasn't enough for you? You had to add a Mohra to the list?"

Darcy gave a large, fake, grin. "I'm just awesome like that?"

"More like, you got lucky," Coulson pointed out.

Darcy shrug her shoulders. "True. He obviously wasn't expecting me. If I hadn't been able to stake him, I had hoped to push him out of the window and call for backup before he returned."

"You!" Thor exclaimed, pointing his finger at Darcy. "You broke Loki's nose! Is that why mother refused to let the healers heal it?"

"Served him right, trying to kidnap me," Darcy replied with a sniff.

Coulson turned back to the body. "How did he get up to the sixtieth floor? And, how do we dispose of Mohra demons?"

"Burn them, I think," Darcy stated. "As for his entry, who knows... Portal? Swung in using a rope?"

"Mohra?" Clint asked.

Coulson waved at the body. "Demon, almost invincible and heals from any wound. Only way to kill it is to destroy the jewel on it's forehead."

"Okay, enough." Tony stood up and gave Darcy and Coulson a sharp look. "Explain. Now."

Coulson turned to the Avengers. "Darcy is what's termed a Slayer. A woman with extra strength, stamina, and reflexes. She's a member of an organization that fights the supernatural. Demons, ghosts, things that go bump in the night."

"A semi-retired member," Darcy interjected.

Clint looked confused. "Semi-retired?"

Jane looked exasperated. "You aren't retired until you're dead." Turning to Darcy, she added. "Really? You call yourself semi-retired? You have an agent of SHIELD as a Watcher, and he actually makes you train."

"I'm on call for end of the world, and back-up," Darcy replied with a glare. "Unless it happens in front of me, like tonight, I'm not getting into it."

"But, you could do so much good," Steve pointed out. "You're perfect for the Avenger's Initiative."

"Oh, no you don't," Darcy put her hands on her hips. "I'm not bringing the oogie-boogies of the world into this."

"I don't understand," Natasha said, looking perplexed.

"The demons and vampires of the world find out that a Slayer is working as an Avenger, you won't just have to worry about aliens and robots trying to conquer or destroy the world," Darcy replied. "There may be more than one Slayer in the world now, but our deaths still have a high bounty. I'm happy with my life the way it is."

"But, you are wasting your gifts, denying your purpose," Thor pointed out.

"Look," Darcy growled as she stalked across the room and poked a finger into Thor's chest. "I was a normal, sixteen year old girl, when I accidentally pushed my mom into a wall for trying to wake me up for school. I've since then learned control, learned what to look for when it comes to demonic activity, memorized how to kill said demons, and was told to have as normal a life as I wanted. I want normal." Taking a deep breath, she backed up a few steps and addressed the room. "Granted, my normal is working for a physicist trying to create worm holes, and being friends with world renowned super heroes, but that's my normal."

"You forgot your workaholic agent of a Watcher." Jane grinned.

Darcy grinned. "I'm working on that."

"Your transfer is still denied," Coulson pointed out.

"I'm not looking for a transfer," Darcy said with a grin. "Leave the office at a decent hour, and you won't find your paperwork in a lovely bonfire. Remember, fire pretty..."

Shaking his head, Coulson returned to the dead demon. "I don't see the ring, so he's not Order of Taraka."

"Which is a good thing," Darcy pointed out. "I really don't want to tangle with those assassins. Besides, I don't think Mohras joined that order. Against their honor or something."

Shrugging, Coulson pulled out his cell phone. "You never know. I'll inform the Council about this, let them do some research. If we're lucky, it was just a rogue assassin looking to gain honor with his clan, and not an organized effort to kill the Avengers." Glancing at Darcy, he smirked. "You've just been detailed for supernatural baby sitting duties."

"Yay," Darcy said before sticking her tongue out at him.

"We don't need a baby sitter!" Clint protested.

Darcy quirked an eyebrow. "Do you know how to kill a Grimshaw or Vahrall? And, that's just two of the many diverse breeds of demons out there."

"Then, you can teach us," Bruce stated.

Sighing, Darcy rubbed her forehead. "A lot of what I personally do is instinctive. Yes, I could give you the classification manuals for you to memorize, but even that isn't enough. Can you wield a sword well enough to behead something fifteen feet tall? While it's attacking you with it's own weapons?"

Natasha nodded. "I probably could."

"I, as well," Thor added while Clint and Steve looked pensive.

"So, two out of six. Not that great a ratio."

Coulson shut his cell phone and interrupted the conversation. "The Council agreed. You're to stay here with the Avengers until we get this straightened out. They're sending some people over to ward the tower against demons."

"They can't ward the whole tower," Darcy pointed out.

Tony snorted. "Why not? It's my tower."

"Darcy's right." Coulson rubbed the bridge of his nose. "You do have demons and half-demons working for you."

"I have demons working for me?!" Tony looked shocked.

"Not all demons are evil. Some are quite awesome," Jane said with a grin. "I used to play poker with a few. Until it got too depressing..."

"Why would poker get depressing? Did you lose?" Natasha asked.

"We can discuss kitten poker later," Coulson interjected, trying to get the conversation back on track. "Until the Council gets here to ward the private levels of this tower, Darcy's word is law. If she says to do something, do it. We'll move her into the tower temporarily until this is resolved."

Jane smiled, "Well, that's one way to get into the tower."

Darcy grinned. "Power, I has it."

The End

You have reached the end of "Five Times Darcy Almost Saved the Day...". This story is complete.

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